I've done something drastic
I did something I never thought I would do.
It took real guts and daring -- more than I ever thought I had.
It started when I looked at a photo of me showing my profile.
No, it was not the pot belly I saw that caused me to join -- and use -- a health club.
Or go on a diet.
It was my beard.
I mean really white.
I look at myself in the mirror and it is not so bad. I see lots of black and a little gray.
But the side -- what the heck happened? Am I growing older faster on the side of my face?
So there I was walking in the grocery store, and after looking for several minutes for the hair dye, I happened to come across, quite by accident, the hair dyes.
"Just for Men."
Specifically for beards.
I followed the directions with fear and trembling, as if I was trapped on a deserted island, about to do remove the appendix from a fellow castaway.
But this was worse, obviously.
I was about to do this to myself.
I squeezed a little dab from tube one and then a little dab from tube two and mixed the two. Using the brush that was provided, I applied it to my beard.
Not much happened, so I kept applying.
Still nothing, so I applied more.
Then I noticed all the gray was gone.
In fact, the skin beneath the beard was now black!
I jumped into the shower (which was supposed to be the next step anyway) and began to shampoo vigerously.
OK, much to my relief the skin appeared normal. But the beard was black with just a hint of gray. I would have liked to have had a little more gray showing.
After all, I don't want anyone to notice what I have done. Such vanity.
I look like my old self. Like the 1996 old self.
I like it.
Hmmm. Maybe next week I'll do something about the pot belly.
Nahhh. No need to get too vain :)