Sudden Moment Of Grief
The feeling came so unexpectedly.
It started when I picked up a baseball.
I'd found the baseball outside my front door several days ago. I'd left it there for a while, thinking some kid who'd lost it would find it. It moved a bit during the hurricane, but it was still unclaimed in my front yard. Yesterday I brought it inside and placed it on the table near the door. It remained there untouched until I began cleaning the house today.
The feeling didn't come right away.
I held it and thought back to days of playing baseball as a kid in the neighborhood. Images came to my mind. The day I hit a grand-slam. The time we all scattered when one kid hit a ball right into this lady's car as she drove by. The way the ball came straight into my glove for a beautiful third out.
I tossed the ball up into the air and watched it fall into my hand.
That's when the feeling came flooding into my heart.
Every afternoon, I would wait for my father to come home and we would go out and play catch. My son and I did the same thing for years.
I'll never play catch with my Dad again.
He's been dead for weeks. I like to think that I am moving through the grief process successfully. I'm sure these moments will come again.
Some losses in our lives are so deep that the healing should take time.
posted by Apostle John at 7:01 PM
7 Comments:
it's been almost 4 years since i lost my Gram who was like a mother to me. it was such a profound loss that i didn't even *start* to process it for many months after the fact. i mean i understood that she had gone on to a *much* better place & i was at peace knowing she was not suffering anymore but it was as if i couldn't wrap my heart around the facts that my brain had received. it will be 4 years in October. and i still have moments like that where the loss grips me & makes me stop in my tracks, a lonliness that i am just now start to grasp. i suspect it will be this way for a long long time.
It does take a long time, and grief can sneak up on you when you least expect it. That is all very normal. Blessings.
thats hard. i just lost my great uncle and im sure ill have my share of grief for years to come. but i wish you the best, i cant imagine losing my father...
I caught myself buying a birthday card for my Grandma a few weeks after she died.
Being sad stinks.
You are in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve the loss of your father. Take care of yourself,
peace,
Rev. Andy
It catches you unexpectly in unexpected places. It catches me in the middle of the night when I dream of them. Blessings on you today.
I'm sorry. I lost my father a year ago July and I keep thinking I'll get past it, but that hasn't happened. I think, though, that remembering these good moments do help, even if they do depress us. I've had these moments, too. For me it was a victory because for the longest time I couldn't get past my father's last few months of life.
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