Saturday, July 16, 2005

My Wife Caught Me -- How Humiliating!

My wife caught me, and while I told her that most men do this sort of thing, I was still humiliated.

I think most women do it also.

There I was walking down the hall of the house, swinging my arms as I walked. One arm would go forward, and I'd take my middle finger and press my palm and say, "Pffffft."

Then my other arm would move forward and do the same.

"What are you doing," Wife asked me.

"I'm Spiderman, shooting my web," I told her in a moment of total honesty.

"Are you that much under stress," she asked.

What? I do this all the time.

I tried to explain that other guys do this, but she didn't believe me.

"Remember the car accident Tony had several months ago," I asked her. "Well, he told me in confidence what really happened. Want to hear about it?"

"Pastors aren't supposed to share stuff like that," wife said.

"Whatever," I said. "In this case it will make Spiderman look insignificant. Tony was driving home and his SUV caught the top of the garage door and tore up the door and the car."

"His wife told me about that. The door malfunctioned and got stuck a little from the top," my wife said knowingly.

"Yeah, right," I said. "What really happened is that as he turned the corner to drive into his driveway, he pushed the remote and opened the entrance to the Batcave. The Joker was after him and Tony, being Batman, had to get into the Batcave."

OK, maybe that story didn't make me look good -- it just made Tony look nuts.

"Well," Wife finally said, "I've often seen you turn the corner into the den and swing your arm as you turn -- I thought that was an odd habit. Now I know you were just playing Spiderman."

Actually, when I turn that corner, I'm Superman navigating around Mt. Everest, but I decide sharing that is probably not in my best interest.


Blogger JMFjr said...

I can see myself pulling off the batcave someday, but I may be more prepared next time.

11:46 AM  
Blogger AWG said...

That was very amusing. I like your blog. Thanks for droppin' by Slice O' Life!

My spider senses are tingling ...

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Andrea said...


I don't think I've ever pretended to be a superhero. But I do like to imagine myself in my favourite fluff fantasy novels from time to time--umm, not with hand actions or sound effects, though.

Good story! And thanks for the comment on my blog.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Tolerant Damascene said...

I found myself doing such strange movements, but I don't know why!
Maybe I'm not ready yet to embrace my real superhero

Nice Blog :)

3:49 PM  
Blogger the reverend mommy said...

There ARE those of us who still play "air guitar."
My children think it is humliating.

3:50 PM  
Blogger Angelique said...

Don't worry about it. My husband busted me being Wonder Woman. I just love deflecting air bullets with those awesome bracelets. My husband had a good laugh at my expense but then I busted him the next day talking baby talk to one of our kittens. He was so embarrassed he turned beet red. We all have our moments but which is more embarrassing being Wonder Woman or being a six foot manly man saying, "who is a cute little peanut weanut, yes you are, you're a cute little peanut weanut."

11:39 PM  
Blogger tomtastic said...

that was painfully hilarious. hahaha. (i totally do the same thing)

8:58 AM  
Blogger KC said...

Superheroes rock...spidey rocks. That's awesome. My favorite still I must confess is, "wondertwin powers, activate!" The shape of...the form of...superfriends is still my favorite post 70's cartoon.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

That is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Thank you! LOL

10:46 PM  
Anonymous mild-mannered blogger said...

you know, i was named after Superman. intentionally, by my parents.

i can identify completely.

2:10 PM  
Blogger Kaylis and Gavin Hansen said...

LOL - this stuff is great, I hope you're a writer!

5:52 PM  
Blogger Ann said...

This post has inspired me to start leaping off of chairs in the hopes that I might fly. So far, I haven't been too sucessful. But thanks for your inspiration!

9:20 PM  

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