The Presbyterian Minister -- Reflections by "ApostleJohn"

Impeach President Bush !

2007-07-18T00:00:00.000-04:00

We should impeach?

Why?
1. He lied to Congress.
2. He promoted torture of prisoners of war.
3. He authorized illegal wiretaps.

1. He lied to Congress. By lying to Congress, Bush violated US Laws related to Fraud and False Statements, Title 18, Chapter 47, Section 1001 and Conspiracy to Defraud the United States, Title 18, Chapter 19, Section 371.

Lie #1 - Uranium from Niger - Bush said "The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." in his State of the Union Address. In reality, Bush had been informed by intelligence officials months before his speach that the sale never took place and that the documentary evidence had been forged.

Lie #2 - Iraq and 9/11 - Bush led people to believe that Iraq was involved with 9/11 by repeatedly linking them in his speeches. In his State of the Union speech in 2003, he said, "Before 11 September 2001, many in the world believed that Saddam Hussein could be contained. But chemical agents and lethal viruses and shadowy terrorist networks are not easily contained. Imagine those 19 hijackers with other weapons, and other plans - this time armed by Saddam Hussein. It would take just one vial, one canister, one crate slipped into this country to bring a day of horror like none we have ever known." This was so effective that at one point 70% of Americans actually believed Saddam was behind 9/11. Bush has since admitted that this was not true.

Lie #3 - Congress Knew - Bush has stated that Congress had access to all the same information that the White House had. Thus he should not be blamed for making the mistake of going to war. But Bush was briefed many times about the falsehood of various stories and this information never reached Congress. [ZNet]

Lie #4 - Aluminum Tubes - Bush, Cheney, Rice and Powell said that some aluminum tubes Iraq attempted to buy were intended for use in a uranium centrifuge to create nuclear weapons. These were the only physical evidence he had against Iraq. But it turns out this evidence had been rejected by the Department of Energy and other intelligence agencies long before Bush used them in his speeches. [NYTimes] [MotherJones] [CNN]

Lie #5 - Weapons of Mass Destruction - Bush insisted that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction but his "evidence" consisted mostly of forged documents, plagiarized student papers, and vague satellite photos. The United Nations was on the ground in Iraq and could find nothing. After extensive searches Bush was finally forced to admit that Iraq did not have weapons of mass destruction.

Lie #6 - Mobile Weapons Labs - Bush and his team repeatedly claimed that Iraq possessed mobile weapons labs capable of producing anthrax. Colin Powell showed diagrams of them at his speech before the UN to justify invading Iraq. These claims originated from Curveball, a discredited Iraqi informer who fed Bush many of the stories related to WMD. On May 29, 2003, two small trailers matching the description were found in Iraq. A team of bio-weapons experts examined the trailers and concluded they were simply designed to produce hydrogen for weather balloons. But, for over a year, Bush claimed these were part of Iraq's bio-weapons program. The expert's report was suppressed and only recently made public. [WashPost] [ABC]

2. He promoted torture of prisoners of war.

The evidence below shows that Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Gonzales are guilty of violating "Federal Torture Act" Title 18 United States Code, Section 113C, the UN Torture Convention and the Geneva Convention by ordering and condoning the use of torture. Many prisoners have died as a result.

On January 25, 2002, White House Counsel Alberto Gonzales wrote a memo advising the President of "the threat of domestic criminal prosecution under the War Crimes Act," a federal statute, for torturing prisoners. He advised Bush to invent a legal technicality --declaring detainees in the "war on terror" to be outside the Geneva Conventions --which, he said, "substantially reduces" the chance of prosecution. Gonzales was later promoted to US Attorney General. [Nation] Bush took Gonzales' advice and signed an order declaring that members of Al Qaeda and the Taliban are not covered by the Geneva Convention. The memo requires that "detainees be treated humanely and, to the extent appropriate and consistent with military necessity, in a manner consistent with the principles of Geneva." While seeming to call for humane treatment, it is carefully worded to allow for violations of the Geneva Convention when necessary.

Bush moved prisoners to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba and held them for years without charges, trials, or access to lawyers. This was ruled illegal by a Federal Judge on Jan 31, 2005.
Bush set up secret prisons run by the CIA in foreign countries to escape US laws against torture.

On September 26, 2002, Canadian Maher Arar was arrested at JFK airport and sent to secret prison in Syria for torture under "extraordinary rendition" program. He was released a year later without charges. He sued the US government but the suit was dismissed by a federal judge David Trager on 2/17/06 citing the need for secrecy. He wrote, "One need not have much imagination to contemplate the negative effect on our relations with Canada if discovery were to proceed in this case and were it to turn out that certain high Canadian officials had, despite public denials, acquiesced in Arar's removal to Syria." Thus the reason for the secrecy is not for national security but simply to avoid embarassing guilty parties in government. This sets a dangerous precedent that may allow Bush to kidnap and torture anyone he pleases.

On December 31, 2003, German national Khaled al-Masri says he was abducted by the CIA arrested in Macedonia and flown to Afghanistan. He was then tortured for five months and released. CIA has admitted making a mistake in this case.

In April 2004, photos of prisoners being tortured at Abu Ghraib prison made headlines around the world. [Wikipedia] [NewYorker]

On May 24, 2004, Seymour Hersh released an article detailing how Rumsfeld's program encouraged torture. "President Bush was informed of the existence of the program, the former intelligence official said." [NewYorker]

In October 2005, Senator McCain added an amendment to a defense bill that would outlaw torture by the United States. Bush and Cheney fought over this amendment. When Bush signed the bill he added a signing statement that basically says he can ignore the prohibition against torture under his powers as "unitary executive" and "Commander in Chief ."

On June 29, 2006 the Supreme Court ruled in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld that the Geneva Convention applies to prisoners at Guantanamo.

3. He authorized illegal wiretaps on American Citizens, spying on Americans.

Bush has admitted to authorizing the NSA, a secretive spy agency, to conduct warrantless wire taps on American citizens. The spying even extends to postal mail. The NSA has also been collecting phone records in an attempt to build a database of every phone call that is made.

On August 18, 2006, in a response to a lawsuit filed by the ACLU, US District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor ruled that the wiretaps are unconstitutional.

The Bush wiretaps violated US law because he was required to get approval from FISA. He can start a wiretap of a suspected terrorist at any time but must then seek approval to continue within 72 hours.

Attorney General Gonzales claims HJR114 gave Bush authority to conduct the wiretaps. But HJR114 only grants use of the "Armed Forces". HJR114 does not explicitly suspend the Constitution. Also HJR114 requires "The President shall, at least once every 60 days, submit to the Congress a report on matters relevant to this joint resolution, including actions taken pursuant to the exercise of authority granted in section 3". Congress was not notified of these wiretaps. [HJR114]

Bush may have bypassed FISA because he wanted to listen to and analyze all international signals, not just those of suspected terrorists. He knew this was blatantly illegal so he hid it.

Bush says "We use FISA still. But FISAs is for long-term monitoring. What is needed in order to protect the American people is the ability to move quickly to detect." Then later "There is a difference between detecting, so we can prevent, and monitoring. And it's important to note the distinction between the two." The distinction is that "detecting" requires listening to lots of calls with a computer to see if someone says certain keywords like "bomb" in Arabic, or maybe even "impeach Bush" in English. Monitoring is listening to a specific suspected terrorist. The problem with detection is that you have to listen to all calls, including yours and mine. [This NY Times article confirms this interpretation. Also CNN.]

More evidence that Bush wants to listen to all signals is in Bob Woodward's book "Bush at War," on page 303. " Bush summarized his strategy: 'Listen to every phone call and close them down and protect the innocents.'" [WaPost]

James B. Comey, acting Attorney General, refused to sign an authorization for the NSA program because it "did not comply with the law". On March 10th, 2004, Alberto Gonzales and Andrew Card tried to bypass Comey be getting a disoriented John Ashcroft to sign an authorization from his hospital bed. Comey rushed to the hospital to stop them. On March 11th, Bush intervened personally to get the Justice Department to authorize the program. [NYTimes]

Investigators may have found that Bush applied for an expansion of wiretap capability from FISA, was rejected, and then went ahead and did it anyway. [FindLaw] [FAS]
Bush claimed going through FISA is too slow but legal emergency wiretaps helped capture terrorist Mosquera.

According to a report in USA Today, the NSA is collecting the phone records of tens of millions of Americans - most of whom aren't suspected of any crime. The agency's goal is "to create a database of every call ever made" within the nation's borders. The stated goal is to be able to identify who is involved in a network of terrorists. But this same technique can be used to determine who is involved in a network of political activists who might, for example, oppose the Bush administration. Under Section 222 of the Communications Act, first passed in 1934, telephone companies are prohibited from giving out information regarding their customers' calling habits. All of the major telecommunications companies cooperated with this program except for Qwest. Joe Nacchio, CEO of Qwest, was troubled by the fact that there was no FISA approval and that the program was so pervasive.

I've done something drastic

2006-07-12T18:14:00.000-04:00

I did something I never thought I would do.

It took real guts and daring -- more than I ever thought I had.

It started when I looked at a photo of me showing my profile.

No, it was not the pot belly I saw that caused me to join -- and use -- a health club.

Or go on a diet.

It was my beard.

So white!

I mean really white.

I look at myself in the mirror and it is not so bad. I see lots of black and a little gray.

But the side -- what the heck happened? Am I growing older faster on the side of my face?

So there I was walking in the grocery store, and after looking for several minutes for the hair dye, I happened to come across, quite by accident, the hair dyes.

"Just for Men."

Specifically for beards.

I followed the directions with fear and trembling, as if I was trapped on a deserted island, about to do remove the appendix from a fellow castaway.

But this was worse, obviously.

I was about to do this to myself.

I squeezed a little dab from tube one and then a little dab from tube two and mixed the two. Using the brush that was provided, I applied it to my beard.

Not much happened, so I kept applying.

Still nothing, so I applied more.

Then I noticed all the gray was gone.

In fact, the skin beneath the beard was now black!

I jumped into the shower (which was supposed to be the next step anyway) and began to shampoo vigerously.

OK, much to my relief the skin appeared normal. But the beard was black with just a hint of gray. I would have liked to have had a little more gray showing.

After all, I don't want anyone to notice what I have done. Such vanity.

I look like my old self. Like the 1996 old self.

I like it.

Hmmm. Maybe next week I'll do something about the pot belly.

Nahhh. No need to get too vain :)

Space Shuttle launch

2006-07-04T15:19:00.000-04:00

This is a photo I took of today's space shuttle launch, as viewed from far South of the launch pad -- Miami. Actually, it was closer to Ft. Lauderdale. Right along I-75. I was looking dead north, from the south side of I-75, across from Markham Park near State Road 84. The flat land is the edge of the Everglades. The shuttle looks like a typical jet contrail, so I added the box to help you find it.

Future General Assembly Requirements

2006-06-22T21:31:00.000-04:00

REQUIREMENTS FOR FUTURE GA MEETINGS...

From now on, all General Assemblies must be held in cities with Major League Baseball teams.

Restaurants MUST be in walking distance.

The only talk about sex and ordination at General Assembly should be something dirty my wife whispers to me.

Bloggers should have a designated space in the exhibition hall so we can meet face to face.

Solitare games must be removed from Commissioners laptops -- don't commissioners know the press sit right behind them?

STRANGES MOMENT OF GA MEETING...

My Presbytery Executive walks up to me and has to be introduced to me. "Oh, I didn't recognize you now that you have grown a beard," she tells me. Should I say, "Yep, grew it in 1971?" I've been on Presbytery Council. COM. CPM. I'm at Presbytery office almost every month. Geeee....

WHAT NOW?

OK, I'm home. I'm ready to celebrate the fact that the Miami Heat is the BEST team in the NBA.

Evaluating the Moderator

2006-06-21T17:06:00.000-04:00

I supported Joan Gray for Moderator, but it is sometimes painful to watch her moderate the General Assembly. Vice Moderator Wilson is doing a much better job.

She needs to move more quickly if we are to finish on time -- well, this is not the first time that's been said of a moderator of a GA.

She often recognizes two negatives or two positives in a row -- it is supposed to be alternating pros and cons among the speakers and debators.

She often - very often - loses her place in what we are voting for, mistaking a call for the question vote as a vote on the main motion -- but that is one reason we have Cliff sitting next to her.

She does not do well in the press conferences. "She waffles" is a comment I've heard from the More Light Presbyterians, and I think they may be right. She avoids clear answers because clear answers upset one side or the other -- well, vague answers frustrate everyone.

A buddy of mine who knows Joan told me today, "She's no Rick." Well, Rick was a great moderator. He didn't do all that well at the GA meeting and often needed Cliff's help. Perhaps Joan will shine after the meeting of GA.

Parker Williamson And Others Start Process For Split In Church

2006-06-21T12:29:00.000-04:00

I stood in the hallway last night. We were in front of the Press Room, waiting for a press conference that was to follow the evening's decision on the PUP report. Parker Williamson was there, having conversation in hushed tones, giving careful instructions to a group of people on how they were to orchestrate what today's online edition of the Presbyterian Layman called "an impromptu press conference." The writer says there were more than 100 present. Try 48.

Distributing a prepared statement, the group declared, "This recent decision marks a profound deviation from Biblical requirements, and we cannot accept, support or tolerate this decision."

When asked if this meant schism, Parker Williamson declared schism had already happened.

So who is leading the split?

Rev. Richard Burnett, of Constitutional Presbyterians
Rev. Paul Gaug, of Evangelical Presbyterian Pastors Fellowship
Rev. Robert Pitman, of Knox Fellowship
Rev. Sid Rice, of Literacy & Evangelism, International
Rev. David Henderson of the New Wineskins Initiative
Rev. Dean Weaver, of the New Wineskins Initiative
Kristin Johnson, MDiv., of OneByOne
Alan Wisdom, of Presbyterian Action
Terry Schlossberg, of the Presbyterian Coalition
Rev. Susan Cyre, of Presbyterians for Faith, Family & Ministry
Rev. Michael Walker, of Presbyterians For Renewal
Rev. Parker Williamson, of the Presbyterian Lay Committee
Elder Marie Bowen, of Presbyterians Pro-Life
Rev. Brad Long, of Presbyterian Reformed Ministries, International

At the top of the list is the name of Richard Burnett, who is the Associate Professor of Systematic Theology at Erskine Theological Seminary. He identified himself as a spokesman for the Constitutional Presbyterians. One of the things that organization calls for is for churches to ask, "What will be the future relationship between this session or presbytery and the P.C.(U.S.A.)?"

The Constitutional Presbyterians also urge churches to "evaluate" their giving -- which I take to mean "don't give to the PCUSA." He highlights the work of the new Presbyerian Global Fellowship. I've wondered what this organization was all about. They claim on their web page that "Presbyterian Global Fellowship is not an effort to start a new denomination or to write a new constitution." But with this association with Constitutional Presbyterians, I wonder.

So what did we decide?

2006-06-21T11:29:00.000-04:00

According to the Miami Herald: "A Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) national assembly voted Tuesday to create some leeway for gay clergy and lay officers to serve local congregations, despite a denominational ban on partnered gay ministers. A measure approved 298-221 by a Presbyterian national assembly keeps in place a church law that says clergy and lay elders and deacons must limit sexual relations to man-woman marriage. But the new legislation says local congregations and regional presbyteries can exercise some flexibility when choosing clergy and lay officers of local congregations if sexual orientation or other issues arise."

In other words, not much has changed.

A gift to the church

2006-06-20T21:24:00.000-04:00

Our standards have not changed -- that is the phrase I keep hearing now that we have adopted the PUP report.

Hopefully, people will accept this and move on with being the church.

As Marge Carpenter, former moderator, said on the floor of the GA, "I'm tired of this conflict. It's getting in way of the church, in the way of mission, in the way of evangelism."

The PUP report has been called a gift to the church. Let's accept it as a gift and move on.

Will We Split

2006-06-20T13:05:00.000-04:00

Later today we have the PUP report -- the Peace, Unity and Purity task force report.

I have a fantasy that the report will be approved without debate.

I have a fear that it will be passed by a small margin and that some of the ultra conservatives will split the church. The forces are gathering now for a split. The ground work is being laid.

Professors at Erskine Theological Seminary are sowing seeds -- but I'm not sure for what. Erskine is an ARP seminary -- Associate Reforemed Presbyterian Seminary. Are these professors trying to open the door to their denomination in the hopes that the ultra conservative PCUSA will leave and join them?

Who knows.

And then there is the Layman newspaper. They are talking openly with people about how to pull their congregations out of the denomination with their property.

I lack wisdom to know what will happen.

But I still will remain a minister of the Presbyterian Church USA, and I hope that we will be at peace, have unity, and with both of those somehow find purity.

There is no decent place to eat here!

2006-06-19T18:37:00.000-04:00

I've been to several General Assemblies, but I don't remember one that was in a place like this.

There are no decent places to eat here!

The few that are within walking distance are swamped at meal time.

The grill in the Sheraton Hotel takes forever! AND they have a tendancy to lose orders.

And the prices! I feel like I'm eating in a football stadium -- at least that is the price I'm paying for a burger or hot dog.

I do like the Fish Market however -- but to get there you do have to drive :(

Anyone want to meet me for a picnic?

The Lord Was Praised

2006-06-18T23:02:00.000-04:00

Occasionally worship in my church does not go as planned. The sound system is off. The choir sputters. The Lay Leader loses his place. The sermon falls flat. As I leave the Sanctuary and head for the nearest restaurant, I might exchange glances with the Associate Pastor or the Music Director. "It will be better next week," we seem to say to each other. If we actually say anything, it is often, "The Lord was praised inspite of us."

The highlight for most people attending General Assembly is the worship service. Not all of the little services, but the one big Communion service on Sunday.

As electric guitars played, the choir was unheard until the second or third stanza.

When Robert Wilson led us in prayer, his mike was so poorly adjusted that all we could hear was his breathing until one of the sound team finally brought him a handheld mike.

Communion is usually served by intinction with people getting up and going to a station for the bread and wine, but here the elements were distributed as we remained in our seats -- a bit awkward for some. Volunteers in my section didn't seem to know what to do and I think a row in front of us was missed.

There were a few other glitches, but all in all, the Lord was praised in spite of human frailties.

The choirs were terrific. One group from Africa was particularly good. Yes, the Lord was praised.

All Of It Is Important

2006-06-17T00:06:00.000-04:00

No grand gathering today at General Assembly. Everyone goes into his or her committee, where they will work until tomorrow or Saturday. The commissioners won't gather as a single body again until Monday.

As the committees discuss their business, some of their concerns will be boring. Some will be exciting.

It is all important.

Take "Divestment" for example.

There is a big billboard that commissioners can see as they drive to the Civic Center where the Assembly meets -- "Divestment is not the Road to Peace" -- or something like that.

"What's divestment," Mrs. Apostle John asked me. "Isn't that when Presbytery takes someone's ordination away?"

Well, not in this case.

"Divestment" is a hot button -- one of several at General Assembly.

When it came up in 2004, I thought, "how boring. No one will pay any attention to this."

Wrong!

Let someone mention divestment and people begin to raise their voices, jab index fingers into another person's chest and make bold declarations that often begin with the phrase, "The trouble with you people..."

What is divestment?

The Presbyterian Layman will tell you that divestment is a "resolution called on the denomination to begin phased, selective divestment of corporations that do business with Israel."

Not quite!

Shame on you Layman -- must you always bend the truth?

Divestment is a plan that was approved in 2004 for the Presbyterian Church (USA) to divest its holdings in companies profiting from Middle East conflict and war.

It is a complicated issue that is made more complex because for many it is an emotional issue.

Yesterday I listened Dr. Judea Pearl implore the Presbyterian Church not to continue with the plan for divestment. Standing with several Jewish men in front of a banner that read, "End Divestment Now," Pearl frequently lost his place in his manuscript. He spoke in angry tones about how the Presbyterian Church has betrayed him and his people.

Pearl is the father of Daniel Pearl, the Wall Street Journal reporter who was beheaded in Pakistan by Islamic terrorists.

In his mind, divestment empowers the Islamic terrorists.

Today, however, I attended a committee meeting that was addressing the issue of whether or not to continue the plan for divestment. One Presbyterian elder, speaking in favor of divestment said, "I can't understand the conflict in the Middle East, and never will. It is beyond my understanding. I don't have the wisdom to know how peace can be established there. But one thing I know, as a church we should not be making money off of the suffering of any people."

Betty Dobson told the committee, "I have no credentials. I'm not a politician or a military strategist. I'm just an American and an elder. Our church went to the Middle East for a short term mission. I stayed in the home of a Palestinian family who lived in fear of a knock at the door and a message that they would have to immediately vacate their as-yet-unfinished home so it could be bulldozed by Israel."

It is not a simple issue.

It is one filled with tragedy and dispair and fear and confusion.

One way or the other, the General Assembly will vote on whether or not to continue divestment.

Someone will rejoice.

Someone will be angry.

Whatever the decision, these pastors and elders who vote will certainly do so prayerfully and with a heavy heart at the stories they have heard.

Who is Blogging GA?

2006-06-16T09:20:00.000-04:00

Who else is blogging at General Assembly? I started blogging GA in 2000, and I think there was only one other blogger doing the same from Long Beach that year. Now there seem to be several.

There is an elder commissioner from New York Avenue Presbyterian Church.

Stuart Hill is not at GA, but had sad thoughts at Joan's election.

Terry is an alternate commissioner, and is observing GA. He was also saddened by Joan's election.

Tom is an observer at GA, and he is also saddened by the election of Joan.

Pastor Terry is another voting commissioner.

Colby from Minnesota is also blogging away.

The Eagle and Child is blogging from Birgminham, I believe.

Cheesehead and St Casserole are rooming together.

Quotidian Grace wishes she could be here, but she is doing the next best thing. She is taking it in via streaming video.

We have a new moderator in our church -- Joan Gray

2006-06-15T23:32:00.000-04:00

We have a new moderator -- Joan Gray.

It was not an easy process.

First, there were technical difficulties involving everyone's laptop.

Gone are the notebooks filled with two reams of paper -- we now have LES and a wireless network so we can view documents on screens.

Right.

One vote tonight was: all those who have their laptop systems working vote yes, if it is not working, vote no.

The NOs had it by a slim margin.

Fortunately, laptops were not needed for the election of the moderator.

First came the nominating speeches. Each one was limited to 5 minutes, and a countdown on a screen reminded them of the time remaining.

The person nominating Halverson was first. She started by talking about Tim Halverson's 19 year old daughter, and as the speech ended, came back to the daughter by saying that it was 19 year old Helen Halverson who told her Dad he had to run for moderator, telling her Dad, "The church needs you."

A Native American gave the nominating speech for Joan Gray, and she began with an introductory sentence in Spanish. As she continued in English, the person nominating held up Joan's book on church government and said, "Joan not only knows church polity, she wrote the book."

The person nominating Carson said he was a very authentic person, which I found to be very true as I talked with him earlier in the day.

Block's nominator said that his favorite story of Deborah Block was from a 14 year old daughter of a pastor who said, "She is the coolest pastor I've ever known."

After the nomination speeches, the candidates were given an opportunity to give a five minute acceptance speech.

The first to speak was Tim Halverson, who gave what might have been the most dynamic speech of the four candidates. "He's got it in the bag," I thought, as he talked about the church regaining its passion to grow. One of his memorable statements came toward the end when he said, "I would rather fail at doing God's ministry than simply whine and complain that our church is deing. It is time for us to grow. It is time for us to regain our passion."

Tim Halverson was a tough act to follow, and Joan Gray was up next. She did a fair job, but it paled in comparison to Tim.

In her acceptance speech, Joan said, "Polity is not going to save us. One thing will save us and that is a God who makes a way for us." She talked repeatedly about how God makes a way. Joan talked about a church in Greater Atlanta in which God made a way for a small congregation to reach out to the homeless. In talking about her Interim ministry with conflicted churches, Joan said, "Some of them were so broken we disparied if things would ever get better. As long as we focused on fixing the problems of the church we made no progress. Only when we focused on Christ did we start to move forward. God makes a way where there is no way."

Carson's speech was fair as well. Not as dramatic as Tim's, he talked about how it was time for the church to let go of the status quo -- all it had brought us was status decline.

Then came Block, who talked about Africa in vague terms.

I was sitting with the press and a member of the secular press turned to me and said, "That was the worst speech I ever heard. Was it just me, or did that make any sense at all?"

No, it wasn't just him.

I have no clue what she was saying.

Maybe I was just tired.

Now came an hour of questions from the floor.

First from a Youth Advisory Delegate: How do you work with youth?

Halverson said, "If we were Ford Motor Company and we found out that youth didn't buy our cars, we’d ask why and talk with them and bring them in. That is what the church needs to do."

He was refreshingly brief and to the point.

Next up was Block. She was very long winded.

Throughout the question and answer period, however, Halverson seemed to lose steam. Block never shined. Carson and Gray gave consistently good, clear responses.

It was the fourth or fifth question that asked, "What is your view of the ordination of gays and lesbians."

Block gave a predictable answer, as she had been clear about this before. "I believe god calls all persons to ministry. The church has been slow to work with people of racial and gender difference. If a person who is gay or lesbian seeks ordinatin, the presbytery has the right to ordain."

Tim Halveson said, "It is not time to ordain gays and lesbians, although that is my dream."

Joan Gray spoke of her own discomfort over this issue. "I have a great deal of respect for gays and lesbians who want to be respected and called. I have not yet gotten my mind around that homosexuality is a valid lifestyle. I am uncomfortable and will remain so until God speaks and directs me." She went onto add, "The moderator acts as an officer of the church. I stand where the church stands, and if the church moves, I move.”

Kerry Carson clearly said, "I will not support an ordination of gay or lesbian."

The last question came from a man who said his 3 or 4 year old son liked to draw. "If you were to draw a child-like picture of the church two years from now, what would that picture be like?"

Gray talked about John Calvin's seal, which is a hand with a heart, and the heart is on fire -- on fire for God.

The next two candidates picked up on the imagery of hands. Kerry talked about the picture of two hands holding together, for that is what I see for the church.

Block, who had constantly talked of Africa and her experience with a short term mission there, spoke of American children's hands on a paper, along with the hand prints of African children. This prompted a secular reporter to groan, "What the hell does that mean?"

Halverson departed from the image of hands and spoke of a windmill that turns into the wind, as if turning to catch the spirit of God.

The questions ended, there was a prayer and the four candidates were escorted off stage by former moderator Susan Andrews.

The first ballot was very split. Two candidates had 22% each, and two had 28% each. Block was the leader, followed by Gray, then Halverson and finally Carson.

The second ballot had Gray leading with 40%, followed by Block at 32%. The two men had 14% each.

At the third ballot, we had a victor -- Joan Gray with 62%.

She was escorted back into the room, and those of us with press credentials were allowed to stand in a certain spot to get a photo of her walking by. I got a great shot of former moderator Susan Andrews as she escorted Joan into the assembly hall. If you look carefully, you can see Joan in the background.

Joan was installed as the new moderator. Roger Wilson was confirmed as the new Vice Moderator. There were words of appreciation to the retiring officers, and an exchange of gifts for them for the good work they have done.

Family Reunion

2006-06-15T16:07:00.000-04:00

Every other year the national level of our church gathers in what we call the General Assembly.

Is it like a conference? Is it like a business meeting? Is it like congress? Is it like Hell for those who hate long meetings?

I like to think of it as a "Family Reunion."

I have seen some of the "close kin folk" I often see -- I saw Arlene from Presbytery office, Bart from the church down the road from where I serve, Charlie who is an elder I see at every presbytery meeting. All "close relatives."

I am also running into some of the "distant cousins" I don't see often.

"ApostleJohn," I hear from a distance (OK, they actually called me by my real name, but no need to trouble you with what that is). "I haven't seen you in ages. Merri Bass talks about you all the time."

I know Merri Bass -- wife of the late Dick Bass who was the Exec in Savannah Presbytery. She's now at Montreat. But who the heck are you and why are you saying "hi" to me?

It is because I'm speaking to a distant cousin.

And there are other distant cousins -- missionaries back from the field, friends from other presbyteries, seminary class mates and such.

I'm as happy to see them as I am to see the close kin folk.

It is part of what makes a church.

I'm not just part of a congregation that meets in a specific building.

I'm part of something larger. Something national. Something global.

My Endorsement of Joan Gray for Moderator of General Assembly

2006-06-11T17:24:00.000-04:00

General Assembly meets this week. This is the national level of the Presbyterian Church (USA). One of the first actions will be Thursday's election of a moderator.

The moderator presides, or "moderates," over the large gathering of voting commissioners during the several days of the assembly. But the moderator does more. He or she becomes the most visible leader of our denomination until the next General Assembly, scheduled for 2008.

There are four candidates.

I predict a winner --- Joan Gray.

Why Gray?

First two of the others represent specific interest groups in the denomination. While there are exceptions, General Assembly commissioners often look for a true MODERATOR who will represent the whole church. This year, with the emphasis on the Peace, Unity and Purity of the Church, I believe voting commissioners will be especially sensitive to the whole church.

The Rev. Deborah A. Block, a Milwaukee pastor and leader in the Covenant Network of Presbyterians, a group that supports ordination of gays and lesbians.

The Rev. Kerry Carson of Conrad, Iowa, whose congregation is part of the Confessing Church movement that wants to hold the line on homosexual ordination.

That leaves Gray and the Rev. Tim Halverson, pastor of Faith Presbyterian Church in Cape Coral, Fla., who describes himself as a centrist. He seems like a decent fellow -- actually, they all seem like decent folk. But as I read Halverson's information online, I don't see the amount of preparation that Gray has. I don't believe he has ever moderated a governing body larger than his own congregation's session of elders.

So out of those two, why Gray?

Experience -- she has been moderator of one of the largest presbyteries of our denomination -- Greater Atlanta. She is considered an expert on church polity and structure, and is the co-author of Presbyterian Polity for Church Officers. She has been moderator of the General Assembly Permanent Judicial Commission and a member of the PC(USA)’s Advisory Committee on the Constitution. Through five General Assemblies before and after Presbyterian reunion in 1983, she served on the Provisional Constitutional Committee. All of these are very important positions that provide Gray with insight and skill needed to be the moderator of the General Assembly.

Like the other nominees, she is a pastor (there are no lay leaders or elders in this year's group of nominees). She served seven churches in the Atlanta area --Fellowship, Oglethorpe, Columbia,
Hemphill, Good Shepherd, Smyrna, and College Park. She has served as Adjunct Faculty at Columbia Theological Seminary, Johnson C. Smith Seminary and has taught at Princeton Theological Seminary.

I've never met her, but I know the pastor of one of the Atlanta churches where she served as Interim Pastor from 2001-2003, and he affirms what many are saying about Gray -- she is a peacemaker.

For a General Assembly planning to focus on the PEACE, unity and purity of our church, having a peacemaker would be a good thing!

I also like her choice of Vice Moderator. Irv Wilson is a great choice. I've gotten to know him through his work on the Presbyterian Men. He also provides diversity. Among a slate of four nominees for moderator, all are pastors and all are White. Among the candidates for Vice Moderator, two are African-American and two are elders. Irv represents both of those groups by being the only African-American elder to run for Vice Moderator. Hence, the Gray ticket provides the single most balanced team before the General Assembly.

And there is one other reason.

She's a woman.

Normally that would not matter at all, but this is the year Presbyterians celebrate the 50th anniversary of the ordination of women as Ministers of the Word and Sacrament, and the 75th anniversary of the ordination of women as elders. I believe commissioners will be especially aware of this early in the assembly and this will add a slight, but vital, extra in Gray's favor.

No Charlie, God is NOT calling you

2006-06-10T09:46:00.000-04:00

Presbyterians like to talk about discerning the voice of God through the voice of the community.

I served a church in Tennessee once and found the people there were always saying, "God is telling me this or that."

Not, "I feel that God is moving me to do this or that," but that "God is telling me this or that."

My first reaction was to think, "How arrogant, that people would think that God speaks to them and no one else."

My second reaction was to think, "How dangerous."

Marty decided God was telling him to start a home for children. A year later he was angry and came to see me. "Why would God do this to me? I've lost my house, I'm in debt up to my eyeballs. I gave up my job for this. God told me to do this and now He has left me hanging."

No -- God did not tell you to do this. You WANTED God to tell you to do this, but you never actually heard the voice of God speak.

One reaction I heard was in a committee meeting. "God is telling me this or that," one of the members of the committee said. It was her way of saying, "It's my way or the highway. I'm putting God's seal of approval on my opinion so you can argue with it."

In other words, "God is telling me..." was a way of using the Lord's name in vain.

And so we come back to Charlie -- remember him from a few posts ago?

He wants to become a Presbyterian minister.

Which means that the will of God is to be discerned not by Charlie, but by the community. We trust that God who calls Charlie, will also speak to the church.

So Charlie has to have the approval of our local Session or board of elders.

The congregation's session sponsors him to go to the Committee on Preparation for Ministry, which is part of the Presbytery -- which is the regional body of the Church. In our case, it is the area of South Florida.

If they say yes, he is approved by the Presbytery as an Inquirer -- it is a time of searching and evaluation. He goes to Seminary and is trained. He is continually guided and mentored -- some Presbyteries being better at this than others.

At the end of three years, he gets a Master of Divinity from Seminary, takes and hopefully passes a series of ordination exams, and becomes a candidate ready to receive a specific call.

Once he receives that call to a church or ministry, Charlie is ordained.

It is early in the process for Charlie, and everyone is hoping someone else will tell Charlie to go into another line of work.

So often we let the poor sap go through years of preparation only to be left hanging at the end with folks like Marty. Tropical Florida Presbytery, around 10 years ago, had a candidate for 11 years. Pauline finished all the requirements, except no one was calling her to serve -- and we won't ordain until that first call to ministry is given and accepted and approved. We finally told her no one would call her into ministry, and removed her from Presbytery's roll of candidates. We could have saved that lady more than a decade of her life.

We were irresponsible.

So the Session a few days ago told Charlie that we were removing our sponsorship and recommendation. He is free to seek the support of another congregation and session, but we do not hear or feel God calling him into ministry. We gave a laundry list of reasons why.

He left angry.

He will never forgive us.

But it's better than what the church did to Marty or Pauline.

The Church Is A Great Investment

2006-06-05T01:46:00.000-04:00

A woman came into my office the other day at the end of her rope. I won't go into her problems or what happened to her, but I want to focus on one thing she said to me.

"I'm so alone. I have no one."

She was right.

Her husband divorced her. Her 18 year old son is a drug addict and left home a year ago. She has no idea where he is. Her parents are long dead. No siblings. No friends.

She talked about being a Christian, but said she didn't ever go to church.

That's when it hit me -- the church is a great investment.

I mean, it costs nothing. No membership fees at all. Yes, you are asked to give, but you don't have to.

Most programs we offer are free -- even if there is a fee, if you can't pay, you can't pay. What fee do we charge? The cost of the book for a study -- but if you can't pay we still give you the book and you take the class.

Meals? We sometimes charge for events that are catered, but even then, you can't pay -- come anyway. Besides, most meals are covered dish. All you can eat, free of charge -- or at most, all you can eat in exchange for you bringing some dish to share.

But that's not the best part.

The best part is friendship.

Connections.

I watch my members interact. Someone comes to church as a stranger, and by next week they are part of the family. They are going out to someone's small group meeting in a home. They join in the group to go to a baseball game -- OK, there is a charge for that one :)

Get sick, someone is fixing you a meal.

Get into trouble, someone is there by your side afterward.

Somewhere in life, beyond the kindergarden art class and the elementary playground and the high school dance and the college beer tasting event -- the ability to connect on a deep level vanishes.

You go to work and you have co-workers. Or maybe colleagues.

You go to Rotary and you have a weekly stranger you eat next to.

But go to church, and you have fellowship. Friendship.

Salvation aside -- that's a great investment.

Standing In The Way Of Someone's Ordination

2006-05-31T23:52:00.000-04:00

I have longed to have someone in my congregation become a minister. I've encouraged, but never pushed, a parishioner to consider ministry.

It is a great life and I love it, and I occasionally meet others who seem so well suited for the ministry.

I asked Andy, when he became unemployed for the second time in a year, "Have you wondered if God is calling you to something new and different -- such as the ministry?"

"I'd be destitute," he said.

I asked Brenda, who seemed to love the church and her work on the Session.

"I don't think so," she said in a way that made me wonder if she would burst into laughter as soon as I left the room.

Charlie came to me and told me he wanted to become a minister. He went to our Session and the elders approved him to be sponsored before the Presbytery. He went to the Committee on the Preparation for Ministry of our Presbytery, and he was received as an Inquirer. He entered seminary and is on his way toward ordination.

One thing stands in his way.

Me.

I never would have imagined.

I'm not that confrontational. I like to be the good guy in life. I hate the thought of standing in the way of someone's dream.

But the more I get to know Charlie, the more I wonder if he is mentally stable. His wife is a bitter and angry woman. They seem to cause conflict wherever they go. I've caught Charlie in several small lies.

Already elders are asking if we should resind our support.

One elder who supports Charlie has said, "We have his life in our hands."

I agree -- this is serious.

Whatever we do, we have his life in our hands.

But this man shows signs of being mentally unbalanced. His wife is bitterly angry about everything in his life.

Divestment from Conflict - Investment in Peace

2006-05-25T21:46:00.000-04:00

One of the things that excites or inflamed people about the Presbyterian Church is something called "Divestment."

Sounds so very boring.

"Divestment."

It is a plan that was approved in 2004 for the Presbyterian Church (USA) to divest its holdings in companies profiting from Middle East conflict and war. So far, not a dime of our $8 billion dollar portfolio has actually been divested. But we have identified five companies that profit from the Mid-East conflicts -- Caterpillar Inc., Citigroup Inc., United Technologies Corp., Motorola Inc. and ITT Industries Inc. How much the church has invested in those companies has not been disclosed.

The companies do business that either assists the Israeli military or supports the infrastructure of Israel's West Bank settlements. Caterpillar, for instance, sells heavy equipment used in the demolition of Palestinian homes. Caterpillar says it has no control over how its products are used.

It seems to me that the issue of divestment has been largely misunderstood -- with many Jewish groups claiming Presbyterians are anti-Semitic and are divesting themselves of Israel.

As much controversy as this has created, I am pleased that the church is trying to avoid a bias toward Israel or Palestine -- but instead seeks a bias toward peace, which I believe was the intent of the 2004 proposal.

The Torch Has Been Passed To A New Generation.

2006-05-19T08:02:00.000-04:00

I found this video on another blog -- Traci Marie. She just graduated from seminary and she once wrote about her relationship with one of her professors: "without dr. hunsinger, my seminary career would have been very different. he and i became friends when i ended up in his office in tears. he listened to me rant and cry about the fact that i couldn't get out of bed in the morning because the world was falling apart. wars and rumors of more wars. torture. election defeat. i told him that i thought i was going crazy because nobody seemed to care about torture."

Except for the fact that apparently she has not yet been introduced to the concept of Upper Case Letters, she gives me hope. When the Iraqi War was about to start, I marched in protest and felt so much alone. I frequently wondered what happened to the passion of those of us who grew up in the sixties. I understand now -- "the torch has been passed to a new generation."

Why Bother God With Prayer?

2006-05-15T23:27:00.000-04:00

caliibre said in commenting on my post A PRAYER FOR MY SON, why bother? Does prayer help?

I read his blog, and he wrote a very interesting post on prayer. At one point he referred to people of prayer as "God Botherers."

I find that to be a wonderful phrase -- wonderful in the sense that I find myself considering and meditating and pondering those two words -- God Botherers.

Images flash through my mind.

Selfish prayers for new cars and comfort.

Passionate prayers for guidance.

Unselfish prayers for others.

Trivial prayers that trivialize God -- "Dear Lord, help me find my keys."

I think of God hearing our prayers, and I ponder that phrase, "God Botherer." I picture God looking like W. C. Fields responding to prayer with Field's famous comment, "Go away kid, you bother me."

Someone once said that our prayers often reduce God to be nothing more than a cosmic bellhop who is neither very bright, nor very reliable (search the Internet and see how many different people get credit for that quote).

I suspect God may be bothered by some of our prayers.

So back to caliibre and his question, "Why bother? Does prayer help?"

I believe that while God may be bothered by some prayers, He delights in others.

Does it help? I don't care. I'm not trying to give orders to God. He is not acosmic bell hop, nor is he Barbara Eden who comes rising from the Jennie's bottle saying, "Yes Master." He's the Master and He can do as He desires.

I pray not to get my way, but to move my spirit into the way of God.

Happy Mother's Day -- Maybe

2006-05-14T14:07:00.000-04:00

My wife is sick -- which may be a good thing because a stomach virus will help keep her from thinking about Mother's Day.

Her own mother no longer remembers who she is.

Younger Son is going through grave problems -- the best way to describe it is to say "he's a teenager" and leave it at that.

Older Son is now stationed in Europe. Next stop for him will be Iraq -- so we are hoping that this son, who is far from home on this Mother's Day, will stay where he is.

For Older Son, being stationed at an Air Force Base in Europe is an adventure.

He called today to wish his mom a happy Mother's Day. "We went to Amsterdam last weekend. I'll email you the pictures. Not this week, but two weeks from now, we're going to Switzerland. And not the next week, but two weeks from that week, we go to Paris. And then not the next week, but two weeks after that, we go to Italy. And then not the next week, but two weeks after that, we go -- well, we'll figure out something."

After his mother hung up and rolled over to go back to sleep, he and I talked about how likely it is that he will be Iraq soon. That part of the conversation is not what you want to be talking about on Mother's Day.

Well, a lot of other Mother's have it worse.

Today was a great day in worship, and we mention Mother's Day -- but we don't make a big deal of it here. We ask the newest mothers to stand and be recongnized. Same for the grandmothers and greatgrandmothers.

I looked around the Sanctuary --

Paul's mother is in Iraq.

Quincy's mother died just a few months ago.

Rachel lost her baby just days before she expected the birth of her first child. Her pain is so great right now.

Sally is so happy today -- her first Mother's Day as a mom.

Terry has three kids, all Marines. I don't know where the oldest is right now, but one is in Korea and the other is in Iraq. She may not even be able to receive a telephone call from any of them today.

And then there is me, the "Apostle John." I tried to think of how long Mom has been dead. I start with "Hmmm, must have been 10 years." But no. Oldest Son was born after she died. So I think, "Must be 23 years" -- but that can't be right because that is how old my son is.

It has been 25 years come July 13.

Can't be that long.

But it is.

That's almost half my lifetime. I think about that for a moment. I calculate at what point in time my mother will have been dead for half of my life. Then I wonder why I did that.

I think this is one reason I have turned toward flower gardening in recent years. I feel Mom and Dad close to me when I'm outside playing in the dirt. I stand with a hose and water, and I can see my Mom doing that. I prune the roses, and I see Dad at work doing the same. And when I head back into the house, I can almost hear Mom say, "Don't you track in that mud into the house."

Some holidays are supposed to be joyful, but they also have the power to evoke sadness.

I think that is fine.

Some things ought to be so precious to us that the loss or absence of them ought to be reason for sadness.

But within that sorrow there should be wonderful and joyous memories.

While wife is sick in bed, I think about those memories and slowly savor them like a fine wine.

A family vacation.

First day of school.

Cooking a big Thanksgiving meal.

A joke she once told me.

I'm interupted by the phone. "Is that Oldest Son calling again?"

Nope -- it's Oldest Son's girlfriend. She was calling to wish my wife a happy Mother's Day.

She's the first one of Oldest Son's girlfriends to do that.

A reminder, I suppose, that families go on.

I wonder -- just how long will it be before there might be a wedding.

My thoughts turn from recalling the past to envisioning the future, and I begin to slowly savor each speculation like a fine wine.

The Apostle John's Top Ten List Of What To Look For At General Assembly

2006-05-13T22:04:00.000-04:00

A lot of non-Presbyterians read this blog, so let me explain a little bit about our church. Every two years the national level of our church gathers together to do the work of the national and international ministries. We call the gathering General Assembly.

OK, that is an over simplification, but it's good enough for now.

I'm going to General Assembly -- not as a voting commissioner but to observe and report -- and hopefully interpret in a correct and understandable way. I've done this for five previous General Assemblies. This year's General Assembly meets in Birmingham Alabama in mid-June.

One of the leaders of our denomination, Cliff Kirkpatrick, gives an annual top ten list of important up-coming events of the General Assembly.

He does a good job, but I always pout my own together -- in part because my congregation and I are interested in special and unique interests.

Every Presbyterian pastor and elder should take a look at the business before the General Assembly and come up with their own top ten.

Here is mine...

1. The Election of a New Moderator for General Assembly
This happens every year, but I believe this year will be the most crucial. We have 4 who have been nominated and they are all excellent -- but my personal favorite is Joan Gray. Why Joan? First, I know her. Second, she is a peacemaker who works well amidst conflict. Our denomination is often in conflict.

2. Peace, unity, and purity of the church
Our denomination will either come through the General Assembly more divided or more united because of the report being presented by the Theological Task Force on Peace, Unity, and Purity of the Church. The report seeks to lead us into “peace, unity and purity” (as our ordination vows require of ministers, deacons and elders), but many on both the very liberal and very conservative sides of our church are rejecting this report.

3. The creation of the office of Minister of Education
There are extensive changes being proposed in the Book of Order that would call for a 4th ordained office – in addition to the Minister of the Word and Sacrament, Deacon and Elder, the new office would be the Minister of Education. There is also a proposal for an office of Educating Elder.

4. Divestment -- Are we working for peace? Do we hate Israel? Yikes - what a controversy.
The General Assembly of 2004 called for the church to "initiate the process of selective, phased divestment" from corporations the PC(USA) believes are impeding peace in the Middle East by profiting from the Israeli occupation of Palestinian territory and the construction of the security barrier in Israel/Palestine, which many likened to the Berlin Wall. Many Jewish leaders called the church’s action anti-semitic and there was a great deal of misinformation in the secular press about this divestment. Over 20 overtures follow up on this action, most calling for an end to this divestment.

5. Haiti
General Assembly is full of things that some are passionate about, while others could not care less about. This is one such issue. Many will pay little attention to an overture being presented by the Presbytery of Tropical Florida, but our congregation has a vibrant interest in Haiti. We have regular mission trips to Haiti and several of our members are Haitian. The overture calls on the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) to “express to the president and the Congress of the United States of America the church’s concern for the people of Haiti, to request the president and the Congress to address the political and social situation in Haiti with the resources available to our nation, to provide for welcome and relief for Haitian refugees, and to cease the current practice of immediate deportation of those who are attempting to escape the horror that exists in that troubled country.”

6. A New Provision for Immigrant Ministers.
Because of our congregation’s interest in immigrant ministry, we know from first hand experience some of the unique difficulties this ministry presents. Here in Tropical Florida we are always working with immigrant ministries, and a little bit of permissive elbow room would help. One of the overtures for a change in the Book of Order makes such transitions easier. The overture would amend G-11.0404 by adding a new section G-11.0404g: “In the case of immigrant ministries, presbyteries shall have broad latitude to recognize the ordination of ministers coming from developing countries with different practices of ordination and to recognize the ‘good standing’ of such ministers when it is attested to by members of their own communion or by members of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). The presbytery may, by three-fourths vote of those present, enroll such a minister as a member of the presbytery."

7. Financial and organizational concerns
The growing financial crisis at all levels of the church will be addressed with proposed budget reductions and new structures to carry out the work of the church at the General Assembly level.

8. What to do with G-6.0106b
What the heck is a G-whatever? It is a reference to a part of our church's rule book -- the Book of Order, which says deacons, elders and ministers have to be faithful in marriage or celebate in singleness. It is viewed as a restriction against ordaining active and self-proclaiming homosexuals. A substantial number of overtures are calling for the removal of this constitutional provision.

9. Building Relationships With Two Other Presbyterian Denominations
For the first time, the General Assembly of our Presbyterian Church (USA) will be meeting concurrently with assemblies of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church and the Cumberland Presbyterian Church in America. There is no move toward organic union with these two smaller groups, but we often work well together in mission and publications or resources. While the business meetings will be held separately, there will be many worship and fellowship events held in common.

10. Anniversaries of Women in Ministry
This year is the 75th anniversary of the ordination of women as elders and the 50th anniversary of the ordination of women as ministers of the Word and Sacrament. This will be a significant focus at the assembly.

Remembering The Magic Of My Toys

2006-05-03T20:55:00.000-04:00

I read something in someone else's blog.

She wrote, "I wish I had known the last time I was going to play as a child in the bathtub w/my ship and the little people. I used to have such a good time!! I wish I knew the last time I was going to play in the sandbox my dad made for me too. I used to LOVE playing in there. It was red, and had a cover, and was under a tree to give us some shade. I wish I knew the last time I was going to ride my childhood bike with the banana seat, and the girlie basket w/flowers. Just one day..poof..you are too big." I remember the day my toy soldiers turned to plastic.

They used to have a magic about them.

They weren't moveable. You couldn't dress them in different clothing. G.I.Joe's came out while I was a child, but most of the toys were simple. They were small plastic figures of men.
They came in several races. Not white or black, but green -- or whatever color their uniform came in.

Americans were green.

Japanese were beige.

Germans were light green, I think.

Russians were blue.

They were all World War II soldiers, which was great because everyone's Dad fought or did something in World War II. They were the living heroes of my youth and I always loved hearing their stories.

I would line up the soldiers and prepare them for battle. A crumpled piece of paper -- perhaps some old homework -- became a giant bolder. A baseball cap became a mountain. If I played outside, blades of grass were trees.

There were men who looked through binoculars, all sharing the exact same pose.

There were bazooka men, all kneeling in the exact same fashion.

There were men on the ground, aiming a rifle, in the exact same manner.

But they were somehow different. Each had a personality. Each represented somebody who was alive and struggling to keep the world safe.

It would take time to set up the battlefield, then the guns would fire.

Bullets could only travel on my finger tips.

A man would fire when I touched the end of his rifle, and in slow motion, my finger would move across the battlefield to find a victim, who would fall. Although he'd been lifeless before, he somehow became truly lifeless now.

The Americans would always win.

I packed my toy soldiers away when we moved to Georgia. I was in the 7th grade and that was the year I discovered an alternate universe called reality. David and I bought our fist Playboy magazine, and I've been in love with Dee Dee Lind ever since. He and I decided it was time for us to start dating, and since we didn't want to date each other, we double dated taking Mary and Kay to the movies to see "To Sir, With Love." I tried my first cigarette. I drank a few sips of Vodka.

Somehow in that move to Georgia, childhood was never unpacked.

I found my toy soldiers when we moved to South Carolina a year later. I took them out and set them up in a great, final battle.

When my father walked in, he knew he'd embarrassed me. He assured me that it was all right for an 8th grader to play with toys and quickly left me alone with my toys.

But it was too late.

The magic was gone.

They weren't men. They were pieces of plastic, nothing more.

This is the Body of Christ, Broken for You

2006-04-25T21:45:00.000-04:00

"The body of Jesus Christ, broken for you, take and eat."

I said these words over and over as people walked to the Table to receive the Sacrament.

Some people take just a tiny crumb from the loaf of bread and dip it gently into the bread. It is as if they are afraid to come to close to the sacred. "We are unworthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under your table," will be the words of the prayer I will use at the end of the Sacrament, and it is as if these are people who know too well their unworthiness.

Others will come and take a large chunk of the bread and drench the bread with wine from the chalice. It is as if they are starving for spiritual food.

My son comes through the line. There are three elders with me serving the Sacrament, each holding one half of a broken loaf, or holding a chalice of wine.

He comes and takes the bread.

It is a tiny piece.

"The body of Jesus Christ, broken for you, take and eat."

He does not look at me as he takes the bread, and he moves onto the elder next to me to dip the bread into the wine.

He was in tears when we drove up to the church. I know it is a difficult thing for him to do, to cry in front of his father. Sixteen is such a difficult time. And like many of the things that overwhelm him, it was such a small thing.

People think pastors and their families are perfect.

We are not.

We are frail.

We sin.

We say hurtful things.

We do hurtful things.

We are human.

We laugh.

And sometimes we cry at the Table of the Lord.

I had been waiting for almost two weeks to share some advice with him. On the way to church the opportunity finally presented itself. But the gulf between an adult and a teenage child is so vast. He has no idea how much I understand what he is going through. Soft words of counsel sound to him like harsh words of criticism. I know that he is not stupid, but I also know that he lacks wisdom and experience. These will come only with pain and suffering.

It would be a lot easier if he would listen.

But he won't.

Growing up takes time. No matter how much others around want to help, it is something one must do at one's own pace, and along one's own unique path.

My son attended the first service, and then disappeared for the day. His absence worries me throughout the other services.

Throughout the morning, people chat with me about their lives.

Anne says her daughter's pregnancy is not going well. She is dehydrated and ill, and eating poorly.

Bakers have bought a new house and asked me to conduct a blessing on their home.

Charlie and Donna have brought their 14 year old nephew into their home. He was being used by his guardian as free labor in an abusive setting until the boy almost committed suicide. Now they are going to become the legal guardians.

Ed is having some difficulties with his daughter as the family adjusts to Ed's divorce.

A family came and asked me to conduct a baptism for their child.

Fran tells me that her father will not be going to the Senior's feast, and he probably needs to go.

Georgia was not in church, but her mother tells me she is doing very poorly.

I conducted a new members class between services.

I attended the the youth group meeting this evening.

My son and I watched a baseball game on television.

So many concerns, but the one who concerns me most is my son.

Family life is not easy -- not for pastors. Not for anyone.

A Prayer for my Son

2006-04-22T21:43:00.000-04:00

Almighty God,
Watch over my child.

In an age of violence, teach him peace.
Fill his soul with harmony rather than discord.
Protect him from injury, harm and sudden death at the hands of others.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
In an age of materialism, selfishness, and greed,
Let him see beyond the things of this world so that he may see a glimpse of things spiritual.
Let him value others above himself.
Let him seek wisdom above wealth.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
In an age of lust, let him know love.
In an age of gratification, let him know restraint.
Keep him sexually chaste and self controlled.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
As he grows, guide him.
As he stumbles, hold him.
In his times of anger, love him.
In his times of fear, touch him.
In his times of foolishness, teach him.
When he strays from your path, retrieve your lost sheep.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
Do not grant all the desires of his heart,
But grant all the needs of his soul.
Let him know sacrifice and discipline
So that he may know strength and faith.
As gold is placed in fire to be refined,
Give my child pain and suffering
So that he may lose those things in his heart and mind that are harmful to his soul.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
Give him love for the beauty of the world you have made.
Give him love for the family and friends.
Give him love for the stranger in his midst.
And above all, give him love for you,
That he may know you,
Serve you,
And glorify you.

Watch over my child, dear Lord.
Forgive his parents when they have failed in the nurture of this child,
And quiet their worries and fears.
May they, trusting in your love for their child,
find rest and peace in the knowledge that you are with him.

Amen.

Murder Suicide

2006-04-20T21:32:00.000-04:00

(This happened a while back, but I've been waiting to post my feelings about it because I did not want anyone searching the Internet in an effort to figure out who I'm writing about).

As far as I know, I have never met the woman.

In fact, even as I write my diary entry, I cannot remember her name. Her brother is a member of the church. John and his wife Sherry have been to the church twice since the attendance records have been kept. They came for their daughter's baptism, in 1992, and for their son's baptism, in 1994.

John and Sherry have not been in church since I've been the pastor here.

I called Maria, the mother of the woman who died.

The woman died 2 days ago. She was killed by her husband, a police officer. They were married in a Las Vegas wedding five weeks ago. When she returned from her honeymoon, her body was covered with bruises. She admitted to her family that her husband was abusive. Ten days after the wedding, the woman had moved out. Then a few days ago, the husband convinced her to join him for a trip to Universal Studios in Orlando, which she did. They were going to talk about their relationship.

The woman left her parents' home at 10:30 AM.

At 3:30 PM, she called her mother and asked for help to get home.

Ten minutes later, the parents were in the car and beginning a 3 to 4 hour trip.

But even then it was too late. Five minutes after making the call, the woman had been killed by her husband, who then put the gun to his head and took his own life.

I will do the funeral Monday.

What a tragedy.

(My diary's entry for the following day)

I listened to the stories of the family and wondered how it could have happened. All the signs were there, but the family was not knowledgeable enough to understand. The man abused her violently.

Before they were married, he bought an engagement ring. Then he took her to the jewelry store and showed her a ring. The woman said it was too large and said she wanted to see others. When they returned home, the man pulled out the ring he'd bought earlier. It was exactly the same ring style as she had rejected earlier, and again she said she needed a smaller style. To this he picked up a chair and threw it at her and broke several glass shelves.

When the family confronted him about his violence, he begged them not to tell the police, because it would mean immediate termination from his job on the police force. "And if that happened, I'd have to kill myself."

This is just one of many clues to how sick this man was.

I will be doing her funeral Monday afternoon.

Mary Has Died

2006-04-16T21:28:00.000-04:00

Mary died at 3:12 AM. Jim had left at 1:00 AM. The family had set a limit of midnight last night, so I assume Jim was reluctant. Later in the day, when I visited the family, I found a way to sharing with them that some people won't leave until the family leaves. It had been the case with my own mother. She did not want to die with me and Dad around. "What's important," I said, "Is that you were always there in life, when it was really important."

Standing on Holy Ground

2006-04-13T21:19:00.000-04:00

I stood on holy ground. Gathered around Mary's bed were her husband, children, and sons and daughters in law. And me.

I arrived at 11 AM. I'd visited Vernell at Jackson Hospital. She had returned to the hospital in her ongoing battle with cancer. We'd had a long visit and when I left I called to check in with the office. Before I made it to the next stop, Hialeah Hospital, my secretary was calling me to tell me that Mary Jean had called to tell us that her mother was dying.

I went to the 6th floor to find one of Mary's sons in the hallway. Jay told me, "Mom's getting ready to pass away."

We walked to the bed in the intensive care unit. I spoke to everyone for a few minutes, and then had prayer with the family gathered around the bed.

There is nothing more that can be done for Mary, and she is returned to her semi private room so the family can gather around her.

We wait.

At times her heart rate slows to 30, and there is a minute or more between breaths. But still she hangs onto life.

Before I know it, I have been with the family for 3 hours.

The nurses administer morphine to keep her comfortable. They begin with a rate of 2 cc, then increase it to 3, then 6, then 10. It is a form of euthanasia. The morphine will keep her comfortable, but it will also hasten death.

Yet it does not.

There is no small talk around the room. Often times, there is. It is a way of finding comfort in the face of death. This family, however, simply waits in silence. I watch them from a corner. There are times when I can tell one is in prayer. Jim sits constantly at his wife's side, holding her hand. Jay strokes her hair. Mary Jean rubs her hand. Kenny paces slightly. George and Harriet are in laws, and they are often outside in another waiting area. From time to time, one of the children speaks to Mary, talking about love, or telling her, "It's OK."

And it is.

In this circle of a family, they don't need a minister. They are ministering to each other.

But I stay anyway, feeling welcomed to this most sacred place.

From time to time I find myself in the hallway with one, or in a lobby with another. There are times of one on one pastoral care. Each seems to have some important comment to share, a story to tell about Momma, or a question about what happens next.

By 8:00, Mary is still alive.

It cannot be much longer, but we've been saying that for a long time. The family suggests that I go ahead and tend to my own family, and they thank me for having been there throughout the day. So I leave. I would like to stay, but they are right. It is not necessary. God is there, and they are there for one another. They have all they need for the facing of this hour.

Last Suppers - Leonardo, Dali, and the Last Bar-B-Que

2006-03-10T00:17:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about da Vinci's painting, "The Last Supper." Yes, I did read the Da Vinci Code. I thought it was entertaining, but I also thought it contained a lot of what my son and I call, "Baloney Factor" -- stuff that may not be true, but you have to accept it to enjoy the story.

Whatever Dan Brown says in his fictional work, I've been studying the Last Supper as portrayed by Leonardo.

So, is Mary Magdalene really in the painting? I don't think so. Maybe the one traditionally identified as John does look like a woman, but the real painting is in pretty bad shape.

I don't think so.

Take a look at his sketch, "Angel in the Flesh." You see a woman's face, almost identical to the face of John or Mary at the Lord's Supper. Same feminine facial features. A hint of a woman's breast. Look futher south and it is obvious that angel is fully male.

Leonardo was painting John as the youngest apostle, and in doing that, he did what artists did in that period -- portrayed youthful males as having feminine features.

Mary Magdalene was at the Last Supper, but Leonardo only painted Christ and his 12 apostles.

The more I learn about this painting, the more I see.

All lines focus on the head of Christ as the center of the painting.

The Trinity is evident throughout -- three windows and the groupings of all apostles in groups of three are two that are most evident.

I've not seen the actual painting, but I'm told by those who have that the painting produces a sort of illusion. Painted on the wall of a refectory (or convent dining room), it was in fact intended to appear an extension of the room itself; the effect is achieved by the painting's perspective, which matches the lines of the actual room.

Christ is seated with a window behind him, thus the light of daylight gives a sort of halo -- the only one in the painting.

Christ forms a triangle with his body, like the Virgins of Adoration of the Magi or Virgin of the Rocks; his disciples form rippling waves.

He has just announced that one of them will betray him, but he has not yet indicated that it is Judas. Each disciple is eager to acquit himself or identify the future traitor.

Grouped into threes, the disciples on the far right recoil in surprise, while the next group leans toward Christ with curiosity; each group has a slightly different reaction to the news.

Generally, the hands of the disciples contradict the movement of their bodies, giving the whole composition a flowing circuit that always leads back to the center.

At the viewer's far left are Bartholomew, James the Lesser and Andrew, forming the first group of three. All are surprised. Andrew holds both of his hands up in a "stop!" gesture. There is a knife that is pointing away from Christ, and it is aimed at Bartholomew. In many Last Supper paintings of this and earlier eras, the knives pointed toward Judas. Here it points toward Bartholomew, perhaps a reminder of the legend that says he was martyred after being skinned alive.

Judas, Peter and John form another group of three. Judas is in shadow, looking rather withdrawn and taken back by the sudden revelation of his plan. He is clutching a small bag of silver, given to him as payment to betray Jesus. Peter looks angry; perhaps foreshadowing Peter's reaction in Gethsemane. Much has been said about the knife not appearing to belong to anyone at the table, but close examination reveals that it is an extension of Peter's body.

In the next triad, which is to Christ's right from the viewer's perspective, are Thomas, James Major and Philip. Thomas is clearly upset; James the Greater looks stunned, with his arms in the air. Meanwhile, Philip appears to be requesting some explanation.

Finally we come to the last triad: Matthew, Jude Thaddeus and Simon the Zealot. Both Jude Thaddeus and Matthew are turned toward Simon, perhaps to find out if he has any answer to their initial questions.

(These names are all agreed upon by art historians. In the 1800's a manuscript was found with their names; before this only Judas, Peter, John and Jesus were positively identified).

Dan Brown makes a major point of talking about how there was no single chalice, but several cups. In this chapel painting from the 1300's, there is no single cup, but several.

In this work, I believe Judas is at Christ's left side, as this individual seems to be dipping bread into a bowl. In Mark 14:20, Jesus has told the apostles that he will be betrayed. They want to know who it is, and Jesus says, "It is one of the Twelve, "one who dips bread into the bowl with me."

These apostles are also emotionless, and one of the things Leonardo did was to show, for the first time, an emotional Last Supper.

Duccio di Buoninsega painted the Supper between 1308 and 1311. It also shows many cups.

And again, the people gathered around the table all seem without emotion.

Christ is framed as the centerpiece of this work, although not as effectively as in Leonardo's work.

I do not believe this is Judas at Christ's left in this painting, but John. This figure looks to be the youngest, and John was usually painted that way. Without this figure dipping bread into a bowl, this individual reminds me of John's Gospel, where it is noted that the Beloved Disciple " had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, 'Lord, who is going to betray you?'" (John 21:20)

Giotto di Bondone painted his Last Supper between 1304 and 1306. Most obvious to me is the black halo that all apostles share, while Christ has one that is gold. Christ is far from the center at this painting. Again, John is leaning against Christ.

Judas has his back to the viewer, and with his hand he is reaching to dip bread into the bowl. Here Judas is wearing yellow, which was the ecclesiastical color ascribed to Judas -- yellow as in urine. Don't tell me those early church fathers didn't have a mean streak.

Again, there is not much emotion in the faces portrayed in this painting.

Pietro Lorenzetti produced his Last Supper around 1320 to 1330. Again, you see more of a realistic supper setting, with people sitting on both sides of the table.

Can you find Judas? He is on the viewer's left wearing blue with a reddish cloak. He is the only one without a halo.

And again, there's John, youthful looking and leaning on Jesus.

By this time, pets and animals are appearing at the Last Supper. You see a couple of them on the floor in the kitchen area at the viewer's left.

Around 1400, Jaume Serra painted a similar version of the Supper. The apostles, void of emotion, are gathered in a circular table. John is leaning on the table, next to Jesus. What I find interesting here is Judas. Again, he has no halo, but he is reaching out for food as if this is his only interest. Others are eating, but Judas is reaching for the lamb -- which is interesting because of his betrayal of Christ, the Lamb of God.

Around 1450, Jaume Huguet, produced what looks like to me a rather standard Last Supper for that time. You see lots of similar themes here that you see in the previous paintings, but I think he takes Judas a step further here. As with Jaume Serra's work, the apostles are in a circular setting, John is at Christ's left, all are without emotion, Judas has no halo and again is reaching for food.

In this case, he is the only one eating while the rest are attentive or reacting to Jesus. It is clearly a lamb that Judas is picking at.

There is also a cat at the Last Supper. It is at the feet of Judas. What's with that? Anyone know?

John is again leaning on Jesus in Domenico Ghirlandaio's work of the late 1400s. Judas sits alone and issolated, across the table. He has also lost his halo. And as with Leonardo's work, it is daylight outside.

I wonder what that means? The Last Supper was at night. But I found that to be common as I looked at other paintings of that period depicting the Last Supper.

By the way, Domenico Ghirlandaio painted lots of birds in the sky, a peacock on the ledge on the viewer's right, and once again we see a cat on the floor near Judas. What's that about? Any ideas?

We see windows in the work of Andrea del Sarto. He painted the Last Supper in the 1520s, well after Leonardo's work.

Like Leonardo, the windows show daylight behind Christ. Showing daylight, as well as having everyone on one side of the table, may be a reflection of how this painter was influenced by Leonardo.

Here is the Last Supper by Juan de Juanes, working after Leonardo's painting, sometime in the 1560s. He is clearly influenced by Leonardo, and he shows daylight behind Christ. You can also see that Judas is on the far right, sitting across the table with his back to the viewer. He wears yellow, as in one of the earlier paintings.

Leonardo has Judas holding a bag, and we see the same here. Judas has the bag in his right hand, held low as if to hide what is probably the blood money from the rest of the group (as well he should).

There is only one chalice, but there are a couple of knives and they help point the viewer's attention to Judas.

By this time, Leonardo's influence of showing the apostles with emotion is being embraced by the artists.

Philippe de Champaigne, painted the Last Supper in the 1600s. By this time, Leonardo's influence is quite visible. Unlike Leonardo, by this time we are seeing one cup and one bread -- what Dan Brown would have expected of all the paintings.
Judas is at the viewer's left, looking defiant and confident. He holds a bag, probably the blood money, but he holds it openly and arrogantly. Again, you see he has a yellow cloak.

John is at Christ's right. He again looks rather feminine.

Daniele Crespi painted the supper in 1624-25. Again, there is daylight in the window behind Christ. John is still leaning on Jesus.
Judas is again an interesting figure. He is looking at the viewer -- you almost want to say, "Hey Judas, don't look at the camera!" You may not be able to see it here, but his left hand is at his side, and just below the level of the bench he is holding the bag, so that clearly this is the figure of Judas.

OK, change of pace. Let's leave Europe and look at some other culture's view of the Last Supper.

The Last Bar-B-Que is one of the best known lithographs of Margo Humphrey. There is watermelon and chicken, along with the traditional bread and wine. Christ and the apostles are all African-American. This is not altogether a humorous look at the event. Humphrey said, "The Last Bar-B-Que is a serious piece: a rewriting of history through the eyes of my ancestry, a portrayal of a savior who looks like my people."

Judas is on the viewer's far right. He has his halo, but he is completely yellow.

In another contemporary rendition of the Last Supper, Judith Wolfe has done a wonderful job showing the theological meaning of the Eucharist. "This cup is the blood of Christ, shed for the remission of your sins." The cup is tilted, so that the blood, or wine, is indeed poured out for our salvation. In the background, the curtain is torn, a reference to the Temple curtain that was torn at Christ's crucifixion.

Finally, I end with Salvador Dali.

I love his work.

My, my. Our Session did something rather intersting last night.

2006-03-08T10:41:00.000-05:00

In 1901, Miss Mary was brought before the elders of her church to answer the charge of adultery.

I stumbled on information about her while reading the handwritten notations in the dusty, moldy Session Minutes book of her tiny country church. I served that church as pastor in the 1980's, and at that time if anyone committed adultery in the church, we'd all just pretend we didn't know anything about it.

But in 1901, the church believed in discipline. There is, in the Presbyterian Church, USA, a manual called, "The Rules of Discipline," which describes how to file charges and how to hold a church court. We use it in regional and national levels of our church, but I don't know if we ever use it in a local congregation.

The amazing thing about Miss Mary is that she seems to have been a very horny Christian. Every 6 to 9 months, she was having to face the elders for adultery. If the man was also a member of the church, he would also be charged with adultery. Try this today and Miss Mary would simply say, "Hey bozo, just transfer my membership to the Lutheran Church down the street."

But not Miss Mary.

She would confess her sins and submit to the authority of the Session -- sometimes she would be barred from the Sacrament of Holy Communion. Sometimes she would be barred from teaching Sunday School. Sometimes she would have to meet with the other women of the church for prayer each Sunday evening. The duration of the disciplinary would vary, but at the end she would meet again with the Session for a review and she would thank the elders for their guidance.

I think about my elders.

Alice was a Sunday School teacher as well as an elder. She was arrested for embezzelment of funds at her job.

Betty's son is now in the NBA. I'm sure you haven't heard of him unless you are a die-hard fan of that particular team. In high school, he played for a school even though he didn't live in that district. It was THE school to play for if you had hopes of a career in the NBA. The newspaper wrote articles on all the athelets playing for the school who were not living in the school's district. Betty's son wasn't the worst -- a couple of 20 year olds from the Dominican Republic were also on the team. But one night there was Betty on TV, standing on a front porch and insisting that she lived in that home, which was in the district. An hour later the news crew returned and knocked on the door. A man answered the door and admitted, "Betty don't live here. She was just some woman who gave me $500 if I let her stand on my porch for a while."

Betty was our Clerk of Session at the time.

Charlie was an elder in a church I served in the 1980s. He was arrested for sexually molesting residents at the nursing home he operated.

Don was a compulsive gambler.

Evelyn was very faithful in attending worship, even when as drunk as could be. She was a deacon.

The purpose of church discipline is reconciliation and restoration. It is not punitive.

Wouldn't we have been more helpful to Evelyn if we had admitted that she was ill? Instead we just acted like we knew nothing about it.

And what of Don? We might not have healed his addiction, but at least we would have been more helpful to him and his family.

And Betty? What did her actions, along with our inactions, teach our youth about honesty and integrity?

The governing body of a local Presbyterian Church is called a Session. It is composed of elders. This is not simply a Board of Trustees or a community club -- these elders are ordained, just as I am ordained. They are our spiritual leaders.

And yet, we have a elder who no longer attends worship. He angrily spreads rumors about our Associate Pastor and undermines her at every turn. He does not make motions during meetings of the Session, but then goes into the congregation to complain about what is wrong with our chruch. I have in my computer an email in which this elder said, "I want nothing more than to take a shotgun and blow the Associate Pastor away."

In our last Session meeting, we set up an Administrative Commission to be composed of three elders. In our denomination, a commission is more than a committee. A commission can be empowered to act on behalf of the governing body.

This Administrative Commission of the Session is empowered with the responsibilities...

to investigate and gather information,
to privately address individuals who may need to be exhorted in the proper conduct expected of an elder,
to work as its three main goals (1) the restoration of elders that they may be faithful in their vows to God, (2) the reconciliation of members of Christ's body who are in conflict and discord, and (3) the protection of the congregation's peace, unity and purity.
In order to accomplish its goals, this Commission is empowered to follow the guidance of the Book of Order's Rules of Discipline, including, if necessary, filing charges against any member of the congregation who is guilty of violating ordination vows.

I'll keep you posted.

Remember You Are Dust, And To Dust You Shall Return

2006-03-01T19:43:00.000-05:00

One by one they came forward.

People of every race.

Young and old.

Gay and straight.

Rich and homeless.

Some were in tears when they came to me.

Time and again I dipped my finger into the bowl of ashes and placed a sign of the cross on the person's forhead. "Remember you are dust," I would say to each one, "and to dust you shall return."

Sometimes I would look at a much loved friend and parishioner and think, "He'll be dust soon. His cancer is getting the best of him. She won't be here much longer, her addiction is killing her."

I thought of myself. Ash Wednesday is a time to repent, prepare for Easter, and also to remember that we are mortal. We are all headed for the grave, and while there is a Resurrection, I realize so many of the things I think are important are not.

I should think of that all day long, every day.

I drive in a hurry down the turnpike -- "Remember you are dust, it's not that important to do all the things on your list of things to do."

I get angry at other drivers -- "Remember you are dust, it's not worth wasting what time is left with anger.

I work all day long, skip a day off, shorten my vacation -- "Remember you are dust, and to dust you will return."

As they say in Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy livin', or get busy diein'."

The burden of Shrove Tuesday

2006-02-28T19:17:00.000-05:00

Today is Shrove Tuesday -- that is the traditional name for the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday. For some, it is a last day of feasting before Lent. The French call it Fat Tuesday. In Britain, Ireland, Australia and Canada -- and IHOP restaurants, it is called Pancake Day or Pancake Tuesday

I like the name Shrove Tuesday. The origin of the name Shrove lies in the archaic English verb "to shrive", which means to absolve people of their sins.

There is a minister in our denomination, Joanna Adams, who tells the story of a Methodist colleague she knew well.

The Methodist minister and his wife were walking on the streets of downtown Atlanta when they saw a man collapse nearby.

While his wife called 911, the Methodist minister leaned over the man to comfort him.

"Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ve called for help and they will be here any moment. Just hang on.”

Suddenly the stranger reached up and grabbed the minister by the coat and pulled him close to him so they were eye to eye – “Charlie,” the stranger said.

“I’m not Charlie,” said the minister. “But don’t worry. I’m with you and we’ve called for help. Just hang on.”

The stranger ignored him.

“Charlie, forgive me.”

“I’m not Charlie. Charlie isn’t here. But we’ve called for help.”

“Charlie, listen to me, forgive me!”

"I’m not Charlie.”

“Charlie, listen to me. Forgive me.”

And seeing the desperation in his eyes, the Methodist minister said, “I forgive you.”

And those were the last words the stranger would ever here before his death.

The minister later thought about how arrogant he had been to offer forgiveness. “Who am I,” he would later ask, “to speak for this Charlie and to offer a word of forgiveness.”

But then he realized he did that every Sunday in worship, and ever day of his life.

We are called to forgive. God means for us to be forgiving to others and to receive and enjoy forgiveness. There are a couple of frightening passages in Scripture that are related to our responsibility to forgive others.

One is from Matthew's Gospel. Jesus is teaching the disciples the Lord's Prayer (Matt 6:14-15), and he explains about the line, "Forgive us our debts/sins/trespasses," by telling his followers, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Wow -- our ability to receive forgiveness is connected with our ability to forgive others!

The flip side of this forgiveness comes in John's Gospel (John 20:23), where Jesus said, "If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven."

What a delightfully incredible burden we have!

Friends, forgive the slimballs, ass holes and jerks in your midst. Your soul, and theirs, depends on it.

A Sudden Flash Of Insight

2006-02-20T09:06:00.000-05:00

I walked through the doorway of the nursing home completely unnoticed. No one was at the front desk. I passed the nurses station, manned only by what seemed to be a custodian enjoying a game show on television.

I went into William's room and found him in the bed.

"Good morning, William," I told him, introducing myself as if he would have no clue that I was the pastor of his church. Indeed, William had no clue at all who I was. Or who his wife was. Or who he was.

I chatted away about meaningless things -- the birds at his window. The blue sky. The palm tree swaying in the wind. The youth group's trip to Montreat coming up this Summer, and how he used to take the kids each year.

He understood nothing.

As I talked, William talked back to me in mumbling sounds that I could not comprehend.

As I left I told William I wanted to have a prayer. I held his hand and prayed a simple prayer.

When I opened my eyes I saw William looking straight at me with a clear expression. "Thank you, pastor," he told me.

And as suddenly as clarity had come for William, it left just as suddenly.

But in that brief moment, he had a glimpse that God loved him and that the church was with him.

Pastoral Visits

2006-02-13T22:58:00.000-05:00

I went to see a parishioner today.

Nothing formal. No appointment. No elder to accompany me. Just me and a 93 year old man sitting in his den, chatting away.

Of all I do as a minister, I think the one thing that has changed most is the pastoral visit.

I was ordained 26 years ago, and I could get in my car and drive to Elm Street and visit seven homes in an afternoon. No appointment. No worrying about having another elder with me. We'd sit and chat, have prayer, and I'd leave to visit the next home.

Today I have to call ahead -- two or three days ahead of time. I have to get a passcode to be allowed into the gated community (I think everyone in South Florida lives in these gated communities). With luck I can visit 1 family each week.

Most of my visits today are over the telephone or via email. The real face to face visits are at lunch. This year the church gave me an extra $1,000 in my expense budget to provide for more of these meals. After church on Sundays, my wife and I can often take a visiting family out to lunch. Visitors like that -- but woe be to me if I call and ask if I can stop by their home.

Is it just South Florida, are is the whole world cocooning in their homes?

Even hospital visits have changed.

I clearly remember in the 1980s people who were having surgery would go in the day before. I'd see them in their hospital room late in the afternoon. After surgery, it would be several days before they returned home. In a church of 100 people I was at the hospital almost daily.

Nowadays, with 700 members in my church, I visit the hospital about once each month. Right now I have two in Intensive Care, but that is rare. Usually someone goes into the hospital the day of the surgery, around 6 AM, and they are out by the end of the day. I rarely see the parishioners in the hospital unless they are, as my two church members are now, in life-treatening conditions.

I miss the pastoral visits I used to do. I could get to know the parishioners and they could get to know me.

Can't sleep

2006-02-13T01:23:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged :)

It is 1:07 AM and I'm having a hard time sleeping because I am distressed and pissed at something going on in the church. It's one of those political things that detracts a pastor from the work of being a pastor. I seem to spend half my week in conflict management.

So, this is the way it works. Knock the top name off the list below. Add yours to the bottom.

Haligweorc
Topmost Apple
Lutheranchik
Rebel Without a Pew
The Apostle John

Tag five people for this meme

The next five people who visit here -- it's an honor system folks :) You know who you are -- and if you don't figure it out.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
According to my diary, my new Associate Pastor and I had just gotten back from the Bahamas on a weekend cruise the church gave us as a retreat. Remember, where I live it is not that expensive and there are cruise connections in the congregation.

What were you doing a year ago?
I was spending the day in prayer for my student assistant pastor, who was taking her ordination exams.

5 snacks you enjoy
M&Ms
A hot dog
Cheese
Strawberries
Bread

5 Songs to which you know all the word
The Theme of Gilligan's Island
Row, Row, Row your boat
Take me out to the ball game
(Now is that sad or what?)

5 things I'd do if I were a millionare
Pay off my mortgage
Travel
Take a small membership church - part of me misses those days in my ministry
Buy my wife a new car
Spend some money for our church's missions in Haiti

5 bad habits
Eating M&Ms and all those other snack foods
Staying up too late (it's now 1:17 AM)
Not exercising enough
Saying yes to too many evening meetings
Leaving newspapers on the floor

5 things you enjoy doing
Cooking
Being with my family
Traveling
Blogging
Going to the movies

5 things you would not wear again
leisure suits from the 1970s.
a see through brief that I wore on Valentines' Day 1976. My bod was better back then.
a tie someone brought me from New York -- man that was ugly !
neru shirts
a cheap alb

5 favorite toys
Computer
PDA
Telescope
Camera
IPod

Thanks Rebel Without A Pew, for the tag :)

It's now 1:23 AM and I suppose I can go to sleep now.

The Secret Indentity of the Apostle John

2006-02-12T12:09:00.000-05:00

Here is a great statement from FISHBOWL at http://dctoo.blogspot.com/. He talks about me :)

"He is a newish presbyterian pastor down in florida. One of the things I'm thinking through as a new pastor is how to blog authentically my thoughts/musings/feelings while being pastoral to the church at the same time. I'm not sure, but I don't think that apostle john identifies which church he pastors in his blog: it is psuedo-anonymous by my quick glance. I wonder if his church knows about it."

Newish? I love it. I told dctoo, the writer of Fishbowl, that I am nothing more than an old fart with bad breath, a big pot belly, an enough grey hair in my black beard that I look like I've slobbered my milk.

So how much is true in my blog?

I had a commenter named RG -- I really miss him, as he had great comments about my posts. Very critical, but his writing kept me on my toes. He thought he knew who I was -- that I was a pastor in another state. Then he figured out that I wasn't really a minister at all.

So who am I?

I am a minister.

I am a member of the Presbyterian Church (USA).

I'm in South Florida -- and I used to say which city, but decided I should be a bit more vague.

My church is multicultural and includes people of every race. There are over 30 nationalities in my congregation.

I was ordained in 1980.

I'm in my 50's.

I wish I was in my 20's.

I've been married 31 years.

One of my sons is in the Air Force Reserves and will soon be going overseas. It is the power of his parent's prayer that he is going to England rather than Iraq.

The things I write about are basically true. Many things I do not write about at the time they happen, and a careful reading will reveal that some posts are about things that I say happened "not long ago."

My name is not John. I don't know how I came up with the name "Apostle John" other than to say he is my favorite biblical author.

Originally the name of the blog was "A Christian Minister." It was started by another minister in Georgia, and then he and I and another kept it up together. That didn't last for long, and now I am the sole owner and writer of the blog.

I change the names of people in my church -- ever notice that many people appear in alphabetical order during a post.

I don't think anyone in my church has ever stumbled on my blog.

I think it would be really neat if I stumbled on one of theirs :) Then I could really know what they are thinking in the pews.

There are churches I remember, in my life, though some have changed.

2006-02-11T00:46:00.000-05:00

One of the great seminarian blogs I read is Serenitipity.

Something on her blog got me to thinking. Seminary students today seem to graduate after three years with only a handful of sermons. My last associate pastor graduated from Princeton Seminary having preached only 3 sermons.

I preached 140 times in seminary. One year I preached every single Sunday for a solid year -- which will never happen again. Since graduation, I get this thing called "vacation" :)

I preached for pastors who were on vacation, for churches that were vacant, and for churches that out of their goodness and graciousness allowed a seminarian to visit the pulpit.

Bethia had services once each month. The town had long since died, but the church remained. My wife and I arrived one Sunday and found the place empty. We waited and waited, and finally the congregation pulled up. They were all in one car -- all 7 of them. One of them got out of the car and went to a rock near the steps, picked it up and found the key to the church hidden beneath it.

We went inside and it was freezing. One of the elders went to the wood stove and built a fire to warm us, and all the congregation sat near the stove.

When no one was looking, I took a deep breath and blew onto the big pulpit Bible. A cloud of dust flew up around me.

One of the ladies asked my wife, "Do you play the piano?"

"Yes," she said.

"Good. We can have music this Sunday."

My wife had already learned at that point to bring some music along. She began to play a prelude on an old, out-of-tune upright piano. I was the only one who even tried to sing.

During the Lord's Prayer, the one little girl who was with the rest of the 70 year olds in the church began to join with me in the prayer. She said the prayer louder and faster than I was able to, and when I was in the middle of the prayer, she said, "Amen."

Since I was still praying, "Forgive us our debts..." she continued to pray, but prayed a different prayer --- "Now I lay me down to sleep."

That's when I learned to always have a laminated copy of the Lord's Prayer with me in the pulpit. At that point I completely forgot what came after "our debts."

At one little church in Georgia, I stood up to give the Call to Worship and to begin worship. An elder jogged down the center aisle and asked, "Son, please don't forget to announce that this is soil stewardship Sunday."

Not being a farmer, I had no idea what that meant, so I said, "Friends, let us not forget that today is soil stewardship Sunday. Therefore, let us worship God and stand and sing hymn number 1."

I went back to that same church again a few months later, and during the first hymn, that same elder jogged down the same center aisle. He leaned over and whispered, "Son, do you have the same hymnbook as everyone else?"

"Yes," I said, "And I'm even on the same page."

From then on, all my singing was done in the shower. In church, I learned to lip-sinc.

While I might not have a great singing voice, I've always felt that most hymns should be sung in their entirety. ALL stanzas! I developed a habit of saying, "Let us stand and sing all stanzas of hymn number whatever."

I stopped doing that when I went to a tiny Presbyterian Church in North Carolina. They used a Psalter, singing only metrically arranged psalms.

The pianist began playing, and the congregation stood up. I opened the book to find the song, and much to my dismay found a psalm that had 17 stanzas.

Pity my wife was not the musician that day -- she would have been looking at me at one point and I could have gestured a "let's stop right here."

Some churches just did things differently than I was accustomed to. At Rocky River, the offering was taken before the sermon. During the sermon, an elder or deacon would change a board that would declare what the offering was for that day. If it wasn't enough, then after the sermon they would take up another offering.

In one African American Church, I noticed a large poster in the narthex. It listed every member's name, and on a chart you could see what each person gave week to week that year. You'd never see that in a White congregation.

Actually, I wasn't supposed to go to that church. Will and I were assigned churches on the preaching circuit for one particular Sunday, and each of us had been to our assignments before. He and I always enjoyed going to new places. Will is Black and I am White, so we decided to trade. He went to a White congregation and I to a Black one.

The next day, we were both in the Dean's office. Remember, that was in 1977 or 1978. Schools had only been integrated for about 10 years. We had known we were going to upset some folks in both churches, but Will and I also believed that someday churches would need to integrate. We figured we were in deep trouble and might be excluded from future preaching assignments. The Dean simply said, "I've had lots of complaints about what you two did on Sunday. If you two want to be prophets, then you need to know what it is like to be martyred. I'm assigning you to go back to the same churches this Sunday. Good luck. You'll need it."

So Will went back to the White congregation and I to the Black one. He and I both decided we would make the same announcement. "The Dean says he received a lot of comments on my preaching here last week. I'm not sure what you folks said, but it must have been real nice because the Dean said that as long as he receives such comments, I'll be coming back here every Sunday y'all are without a pastor."

Apparently there were no further comments and Will and I were never sent back to those churches.

I'm glad things have changed. I now preach in a congregation that is about 50/50 black and white. Will is an Army Chaplain, and has been for many years.

The seminarians would share our experiences on Monday as we sat around in the coffee room. We were always anxious to find out the directions to these churches -- remember, there was no mapquest back then. Just as important, we wanted to know if which churches had indoor plumbing.

At the Mountville Church, there was not even an outhouse. The men went in the woods on the left of the church, and the women at the right of the church.

We went to Mountville a few times, and once I felt we were headed in the wrong direction. My wife was navigating and assured me, "It's right up here, near some damn Baptist Church." I was shocked -- my wife never cussed. But there it was, right near the Beaver Dam Baptist Church.

Some of the churches we went to simply could not afford an ordained pastor. After one service, an elder came to me with the offering plate and handed me half the contents -- $7.50 and a check. The check was my offering. Oh well, "cast your bread on the waters and it will come back to you."

I took it -- we were always in need in seminary. Once I cooked a pizza, using the last bit of flour, pasta sauce and cheese in the apartment. My wife and I were so looking forward to that pizza that we didn't preheat the oven. We just fired it up and put in the pie.

Little did we know that a roach had been crawling on the stove's ceiling. When we checked the pizza, there it was in the middle of our meal.

"Let's cut the middle out and eat the rest," my wife suggested.

So we did.

That was a Saturday night and we were hoping the next day's church would be generous.

Thankfully they were!

One couple took us out to lunch after church and fed us well.

"Let me take ya'll for a drive -- I want to show you my store," our host insisted.

It was a grocery store. He grabbed a buggy and said, "I want you to fill this buggy up and the food is on the house." He wouldn't let us be stingy. If we put in one box of cereal, he'd put in another. He insisted that we load up on steaks and a turkey.

We didn't have to worry about eating the roach's left overs for a long time after that.

In one church there must have been almost 700 people. At the end of the service, there would often be one or two who would quietly slipped me a check. I would thank them and put the folded check in my pocket to look at later, thankful that so many wanted to support me in preparing for the ministry.

At lunch on that day, I pulled out 8 checks -- far more than I usually received. One was the "official honorarium." That would sometimes be $20. Sometimes $50. I looked at the other checks, only to discover that not a single one of them was a check I could cash -- they were notes offering advice about my sermon and preaching.

"Shave the beard" was one.

Having a beard was a problem in the late 1970s, and my professors advised me to shave it, but I never did. I went in one church and sat behind the pulpit, waiting for the prelude to end. A child in the congregation yelled out, "Look, Jesus has come to preach today."

Someone else -- an adult -- said, "That ain't no Jesus. It's not even a real preacher yet."

True, but these Sundays helped me to become a preacher and I'm grateful.

Getting a Raise, Part II

2006-02-10T00:15:00.000-05:00

I think the post about how Presbyterian ministers get raises prompted more responses than any other recent post -- other than one a few post months ago about how Christians should pray for their ememies, inlcuding Osama.

Lots of folks made suggestions, such as having an elder preside, but in the Presbyterian Church (USA) the Book of Order, says "The pastor shall be the moderator of all meetings of the congregation."

I've never had anyone offer any real discussion about the raise. It just strikes me as odd that I moderate the meeting. The chair of the Personnel Committee presents the motion, but there I stand having to ask, "Any discussion?" As I say, there never is.

By and large, these meetings are dull.

An annual report is mailed out a week prior to the meetings, and people never have any questions about them.

We elect elders to a three year term of the Session -- and that goes smoothly also.

Well, there was this ONE time.

It was my first year in my current church. The church had been in conflict for several years, which is one of the reasons I went to this particular church. Conflicted churches seem to have become my specialty.

At any rate, the people in the congregation did not trust the elders at all.

Fortunately someone warned me about what was about to happen.

You see, normally the Nominating Committee would come up with 1 name for each vacany on the Session and would present these names to the congregation as possible elders. The Book of Order requires that the floor be open for nominations from the congregation, but no one EVER makes such a nomination. Then the nominees are elected.

Not that year.

There were 7 openings on the Session.

The congregation named 14 from the floor! So there we were with 21 nominees for 7 openings.

Now we don't just take the top 7.

The Book of Order requires that each elder have a clear mandate to serve -- meaning a majority of those present and voting.

One elder, who had been the chair of my Pastor Nominating Committee, was furious that he had not won on the first ballot. He rose to give a speech, which was basically, "You can't run this church without me. I hold this place together!"

On the next ballot he received 3 votes out of over 200.

I figure the votes were his, his wife's and one of his sons -- hmmm, he had two sons there. Wonder which of his family didn't vote for him?

Anyway, he walked out and never returned.

I called all of the nominees afterward to thank them for their willingness to serve. Most were humble and accepting of the congregation's decision.

Not that one fellow.

He demanded that I apologize for not publically telling the congregation to elect him.

It never occurred to me to "campaign" for a nominee.

Neither one of us saw the other's point of view.

The bottom line is he never returned to church after that.

Well, it seemed to work out best for everyone.

The church began its long road to recovery and healing that day. It took about 2 years of pure hell, but then the church became a delightful place to serve.

As for me, the congregation seemed to understand that I was not going to be anyone's puppet. I'd already pissed off the leader of the other faction -- quite by accident. So they looked at me as neuteral. Go figure.

As for that fellow, he's attending a community church down the road and seems very happy where he is.

So I guess there can be some surprises at these meetings after all.

I Hate Getting A Raise

2006-02-07T07:31:00.000-05:00

Actually it is not the raise I hate getting, it is the process.

Do 12 year old kids vote on your salary?

Is your salary public?

For me, my salary raise has to go through the Personnel Committee, then to the Session (or governing body of elders), but then it has to go to the congregation for approval. In our Presbyterian system, there are only five things the whole congregation votes on -- everything else is in the hands of the elders.

Changing the amount of salary the pastor receives is one of them. If you work for the church and are not ordained, the session changes it. But if you are ordained, all active members get to vote on it --

Including your wife and kids.

Including the teenagers who just finished confirmation classes.

And you know the worst thing about the congregational meeting?

The pastor moderates the meeting.

I have met a couple of ministers who would start the meetings, walk out, and then let an elder conduct the rest of the meeting. That is mostly symbolic, since the pastor's family is still in the meeting. As a member of the Committee on Ministry or our Presbytery (a geographic group of Presbyterian Churches), that arrangement has often led to unnecessary problems for pastors.

So there I am, conducting a meeting in which my salary is to be approved.

The meetings are always peaceful and routine -- who would get up and speak against a motion like this unless I was really having problems with the church?

So that is what I did this Sunday after church -- moderating a meeting in which I was being given a raise. I find it all humiliating and embarrassing :(

Still, at the end of the day, I'm left wondering if this was worth it.

I hate these meetings!

Ain't Gonna Study War No More

2006-02-04T18:21:00.000-05:00

Years ago, when I lived "up north" in Georgia, I had a house with a fig tree and a grape vine.

I loved sitting in the shade of the fig tree. It was a living reminder of God's promise to me and to all people. You can find that promise in the Old Testament book of Micah (chapter 4, verses 1-4).

Micah tells me that there will come a day of peace.

People will come from all nations, living together in a multicultural community. God will be our judge and will settle disputes among nations.

And the people "will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore. Every person will sit under his or her own vine and under his or her own fig tree, and no one will make them afraid, for the LORD Almighty has spoken."

I long for that day of peace.

I have added a counter at the left. It shows the cost of war. The National Priorities Project maintains the counter.

The cost is beyond my ability to understand or comprehend.

You can compare the cost. What else could we have done with that money? The National Priorities Project gives suggestions.

We could have ensured that every child in the world was given basic immunizations for 79 years.

We could have hired 4,135,284 additional public school teachers for one year.

We could have built 2,148,534 additional housing units.

We could have fully funded global anti-hunger efforts for 9 years.

We could have fully funded world-wide AIDS programs for 23 years.

I sometimes wonder, will the world forgive us for what we have done?

Will the future generations of our country forgive us for what was left undone?

Will God forgive?

I wonder if fig trees and grape vines grow in Miami?

Day Dreaming During Sermons

2006-02-01T23:26:00.000-05:00

Does your mind wander while you are sitting in church trying to listen to the sermon?

Yep, my mind wanders, too.

Which is not good, because I'm the preacher!

Long time readers may remember that I consider sex to be one of my favorite hobbies. When we were younger, I had to make a rule that there would be no sex after 6 PM on Saturdays. If it was really good, I kept thinking during the sermon about just how good it was. That worked for a while, until I would begin thinking about how I looked forward to getting through the service and going home to hop in the sack.

I still think about sex during the sermon sometimes, but not so often. It's one of the gifts of aging. You become more in control of your sexuality.

Sometimes I look out at the congregation and see someone who needs to hear this particular sermon. I think of changing the sermon to fit that person's life. For a moment I'm tempted to ignore the rest of the congregation, but I continue as planned.

Sometimes I'm in the middle of an illustration and it occurs to me -- "this ain't working."

Sometimes I am making a well planned point, and suddenly realize -- "this is really lame."

Sometimes I think about how my back hurts.

Sometimes I see my son's face and worry about why he looks so sad.

Sometimes I see my son's face and think about how happy he looks.

Sometimes I think about how slim the attendance is, and I worry about where we are headed.

Sometimes I think about how full the pews are, and I get excited about where we are headed.

Sometimes I think about "where's Joe? I haven't seen him in worship in months."

Sometimes I see someone familiar and think, "Who is he? Someone I met at the Senior Citizen's center? Oh wait -- that's my buddy from high school -- gee did he get old!"

Sometimes I think about what movie I want to see on Sunday afternoon.

Sometimes I think about what to eat for lunch, and I wonder if we can get out in time to beat the Southern Baptist crowds.

These day dreams last only a moment or so. They are very fleeting and never hinder the message.

So what do you think about during the sermon? Yep, you probably just think about the sermon, which puts me to shame :)

Great New Way To Study Bible and Theology

2006-02-01T21:02:00.000-05:00

This is straight from the Presbyterian Church's news service...

Presbyterian officials have launched a Web site they describe as the "next generation" in adult Christian study resources.

TheThoughtfulChristian.com offers lessons in theology and the Bible, popular culture, spirituality, Christian living and contemporary issues that can be downloaded (for a fee), printed, photocopied and emailed for use in classes and retreats and for personal study and devotion.

The new site - officially called The Thoughtful Christian: Faithful Living in a Complex World - is an imprint of the Presbyterian Publishing Corporation (PPC), the trade-publishing arm of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.).

The online resource "represents the most exciting and innovative publishing initiative PPC has undertaken in recent times," said David Perkins, PPC's president and publisher. "I believe it will prove to be one of the most creative programs in all religious publishing."

The studies consist of one to four sessions each. Every session is designed to take 45 minutes to an hour. Each includes a three- to four-page handout and a two- to five-page leader's guide with lesson plans and resources. The site is meant to be ecumenical.

It already has more than 50 units on topics ranging from same-sex marriage and the war in Iraq to a study of the popular book, The DaVinci Code. Additional studies will be added each month, including "rapid-response" sessions on news events.

The Thoughtful Christian was officially launched on Feb. 1 during the annual meeting of the Association of Presbyterian Church Educators (APCE), which opened on the same day in St. Louis, MO.

The site has a fan in the Rev. Barbara Tesorero, of Sycamore Presbyterian Church in Cincinnati, OH.

"Adult-education ... classes have always been a difficult animal to corral," she said. "The Thoughtful Christian site offers the variety and depth that our adult learners often seek. From stem-cell research to Reformed spirituality, our class facilitators are sure to discover material that will enable our adult learners to explore their faith on a variety of levels."

Individuals, churches and other organizations have three options for buying materials:

For subscribers who sign up by Sept. 30, 2006, the first-year cost will be $250 and annual renewals will be $225. After Sept. 30, the cost will increase.

Individual studies can be downloaded at a cost of $5 for one session, $9 for two and $12 for three. Each additional session beyond three costs $3.

For information log on to www.TheThoughtfulChrisitan.com to sign up for updates and for a chance to win free downloads.

More Thoughts On The Call To Ministry

2006-01-25T22:15:00.000-05:00

As a college freshman, I visited my minister to tell him I was thinking about entering the ministry. My pastor looked at me and said, "What the hell you want to do something stupid like that for? All day long, people come by the office and complain, complain, and complain."

OK, so I cleaned that up just a bit -- as the readers of the previous post will remember.

I left convinced that I had misunderstood what the ministry was like.

I graduated from college and went to work for the state as a teacher/counselor, working in a prison. Yet, I still struggled with a sense of a calling toward the ministry. One night, as I was walking along, I noticed this bush that was on fire, but wasn't being consumed.

Oh wait -- that was Moses, not me. Sorry...

But I was walking in prayer one night.

And nothing happened.

I simply felt an overwhelming sense of peace that I should enter the ministry. I enrolled in Seminary and was ordained three years later.

It is a great life! I wouldn't want to do anything else .

I get to go to all the best weddings. And I have the best view in the house. While everyone else is looking on from the pews, I stand right in front of the couple. I see them almost overwhelmed by their love for one another. I hear the nervousness in their voices as they repeat their vows. I look into their eyes and see a little hint of their fear as they step into the future. Do they know what they are getting into? Of course not! No one knows the trials and joys their lives will bring. But they start their journey in this sanctuary. In the presence of the church, and in the company of a minister.

I not only get to go to baptisms, I get to hold the baby. I pour water on the child's head and say, "I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." And then the fun begins, or at least for me, as I take the baby up and down this aisle and introduce the newest member of the faith to the congregation. Sometimes they cry -- and well they should, for the life of faith into which they have been baptized has the demand that the child pick up a cross in following Jesus. Sometimes they laugh and smile -- and well they should, for they have been baptized into a faith of joy and comfort.

There is no other life like the ministry. I am there at the beginning of a person's life, holding the infants in my arms and baptizing them. I read Bible stories to them when they are children. I go to youth conferences with them. I teach their confirmation classes. I perform their weddings. I hear their darkest confessions. I listen to their secret fears.

Through the whole spectrum of a life, I am there.

From the beginning, and sometimes to the end.

Being with a person at the moment of death is a sacred experience. I see the life slowly ebb away, and listen to the sound of the last breath, and there are times when the last thing they feel in this world is my hand in their hand.

As far as I know, the only job that comes close to the minister is the old family doctor, bringing children into this world and taking care of them throughout the years.

But when death comes, the doctor closes the medical bag and walks out of the hospital room, while the minister remains behind with the family.

I give thanks for many things in this life -- and among those things I for which I am most grateful is that God called me to be a minister.

Thinking Back On Being Called To Ministry

2006-01-24T23:34:00.000-05:00

People decide to become teachers, lawyers, engineers, and such -- but when we talk about ministers we talk about how we are "called by God." Sometimes it sounds a bit arrogant, but it shouldn't be. We should all feel that what we are doing is what we have been called to do.

So how does God call ministers?

I was in youth group one day -- so many years ago that I was actually one of the youth. Rev. Keith told us about when he was called by God.

"Well, there I was," he said in his deep Southern accent. "My Daddy was making me and my brothers work in the fields. We were digging and plowing and I was workin' the soil with this hoe. And it was a hot day. Man it was hot. So hot that when you looked out yonder on the horizon, the heat was just a shimmering. I set my hoe down in the sun and took a sip of water from the well, and when I picked up the hoe it was so hot that it burned my hand.

"I looked at the hoe. I looked at the shimmerin' horizon. I looked at my Daddy and said, 'I think the Lord's done called me to preach.'"

We all rolled with laughter.

A year or so later, when I told my pastor that I wanted to be a minister, his reaction was not quite what I had expected. Rev. Keith looked at me and asked, "What the hell you want to do a stupid thing like that for? This is a hell of a job! All day long people come into your office and bitch, bitch, bitch!"

I was shocked! I thought he would say something piously profound. A simple "Praise the Lord, my son," was the least I expected.

Perhaps Mr Keith was trying to be honest with me. The ministry is a more difficult, and very different type of job than most people believe. No one really knows what any job is like until they do it, and the ministry is no exception.

As a high school senior, I thought I knew what the ministry was like. It was writing sermons, leading worship, counseling, and saying to young men who wanted to enter the ministry, "Praise the Lord, my son."

How wrong I was!

Recently I had a severe muscle spasm followed by two weeks of lingering pain in my neck. I finally made an appointment with a massage therapist. While the therapist worked on my neck, he asked that routine question, "what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a minister," I answered. I could feel his fingers stop for an instant.

"Well," he said, "I guess even ministers feel stress."

I wanted to tell him, "Of course we do, you idiot! Don't you know that the ministry is a hell of a job. All day long you have to listen to people bitch, bitch, bitch." But instead I simply said, "Occasionally."

The ministry does have a great deal of stress in it. You deal with families in crisis, terminal illness, death, administering the business affairs of a church, and of course, Sunday is always on its way and you have to come up with another sermon.

When I was in high school and made my visit to my pastor, I don't think I ever thought about what it would REALLY be like to sit in the hospital with a family waiting for someone to die. I don't think it crossed my mind that I would have to bury children. It didn't occur to me that an argument about whether to paint the church library white or blue would be a major theological debate.

I did think about counseling alcoholics and drug addicts and those who were depressed, but all of that seemed to be part of an adventure yet to be. I never really thought about how I would feel to see a parishioner come into my office and point a gun at his head. What made me think that I could do this job?

"If I knew then what I know now" is a game some people play. I don't usually play. But IF I did know back then in Rev. Keith's office what I know now, when he told me that the ministry was a hell of a job, I'd probably say, "Brother, that's not the half of it!"

And yet, I've never thought of leaving the ministry.

In fact, there are times when I have caught myself thinking about how unfortunate it is for those who are not in the ministry. I can't imagine life being as fulfilling for the laity as it is for me.

The Dean of my seminary once told us that no other profession touches the whole spectrum of a person's life as the ministry does. The family doctor comes close, but doesn't quite make it.

The minister stands before a couple and pronounces them husband and wife.

The minister holds the infant born of that marriage and with water, baptizes the child.

The minister sleeps with the youth at sleep-ins and at church camps.

The minister visits the people in their homes, in the nursing homes, in jail, or in the hospital.

The minister holds the hand of the dying.

The doctor is with a person from birth to death, but the minister is also, and for even longer. When death comes, the doctor closes the medical bag and leaves, but the minister remains. No other profession has the opportunities to touch the whole span of a person's life.

The ministry is a great life, and I am grateful that God has called me into this way of life.

I used to ask my son from time to time, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" When my son was five years old, he looked up at me and asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up!

"Retired," I said, thinking back to Rev. Keith, who had warned me that the ministry was a hell of a job. But in all honesty, I don't look forward to retirement. I look forward to the next day. I still want to be a minister when I grow up.

Guilty Pleasures

2006-01-23T18:59:00.000-05:00

St. Casserole and other bloggers have been responding to the challenge to list your five guilty pleasures. Here are mine:

1. Massage. I love it -- even when I wake myself up snoring while on the massage table. It is a great way to relax.

2. Movie in the middle of the day. This is great, especially when you work in the morning, and have to go back to the church that night. A good break in the day.

3. Not answering my phone. Who says I have to pick it up? That's why I have an answering machine. I don't even bother with caller ID. If it is important, leave a message. Same for the cell phone -- no, make that ESPECIALLY for the cell phone. Phones are invented for the owners benefit -- not the caller's.

4. The beach. It is relaxing and refreshing. I like Hollywood Beach, because the boardwalk is made of concrete, and the restaurants are right there. You don't even have to get sand all over your shoes to enjoy the beach. South Beach also has a nice walkway.

5. Spending the night at Area 51. No, not the UFO place. This is at mile marker 51 along I 75. You can drive off the interstate and drive through the opening in the fence. Drive under the bridge, and you can reconnect with the Interstate and head home. Most people don't know it is there. For a few miles in either direction, there is an old road that runs along the canal. Wonderful place to take a telescope and to enjoy the dark skies with no city lights. I will admit you have to be alert -- gaters and bears, Oh my!

The New World

2006-01-22T19:42:00.000-05:00

The family and I went to see the movie, The New World.

"Was that film historically accurate," my son asked me.

"Pretty much," I told him. "The Powhatan women did not wear shirts, the children wore less, and the corn was modern. Corn at that time was about half the size it is today. The romance of Smith and Pocahontas was probably all in Smith's mind -- he was a great self-promoter ."

"It would have been better if it had been more historically accurate," the teenager said.

It took me a minute to realize he wasn't talking about the corn or Smith.

"The movies need more nudity," he said with a grin.

But it was very, very accurate. I loved it, but it is not for everyone.

When the 3 hour movie was over, people got up and left in almost complete silence. Occasionally there was a yawn or a deep sigh of exhaustion.

Part of this appeal for me is that the characters of this film were some of my ancestors. John Rolfe, who married Matoaka/Rebecca/Pocahontas, was my 11th Great Grandfather.

The more you know of the history, the more you will enjoy the film and all its subtleties.

Things to learn about Apostle John and President Bush

2006-01-21T15:57:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what this means, but I found it at Reverend Mommy's place and I thought it was a hoot :)

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Apostle john!

Apostle john can be seen from space!
Bees visit over three million flowers to make a single kilogram of apostle john.
There are roughly 10,000 man-made objects the size of apostle john orbiting the Earth!
Apostle john was first grown in America by the grandmother Maria Ann Smith, from whom his name comes!
The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Apostle john Head.
If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets apostle john.
According to the story, Pinocchio was made of apostle john.
Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from apostle john.
On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of apostle john.
The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like apostle john.

OK, that was fun -- but then I realized all bloggers seem to be typing in their own names and getting the responses.

So I typed in the name of President George W. Bush, and this is what I got.

I love that first one.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about President George W. Bush!

It's bad luck for a flag to touch President George W. Bush.
Tradition allows women to propose to President George W. Bush only during leap years!
President George W. Bush is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
Banging your head against President George W. Bush uses 150 calories an hour.
Two grams of President George W. Bush provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours.
Japan provides over thirty percent of the world's President George W. Bush supply.
The fingerprints of President George W. Bush are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
President George W. Bush was the first Tsar of Russia!
The Vikings believed that the Northern lights were caused by President George W. Bush as he rode out to collect warriors slain in battle.
President George W. Bush once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest!

Scars

2006-01-20T23:29:00.000-05:00

This is my home about this time last year. I was standing across the street, looking at the back yard. I remember thinking I'd take this photo to see how long it would take for the trees to fill out and give me complete privacy in my backyard.

As I say, that was about a year ago.

But a few things have changed.

Hurricane Wilma came and took the trees away.

The roof was badly damaged.

I remember thinking right after Wilma left that we'd been lucky. A few trees were gone. A few roof tiles. It was nothing -- especially compared to our neighbors in New Orleans, Mississippi and elsewhere.

Here's the same view, taken earlier this week. The roof repair is almost finished. The backyard is now in full view of the street in the back.

Everywhere I go, there seem to be scars of Wilma.

There are "blue roofs" -- patched with temporary sheeting.

Look off the Interstate, and you may see a sign still bent from the force of a powerful wind.

Drive into a community, and there may be a line of trees still fallen, uprooted from the ground.

It takes a while for wounds to heal.

I think it is good for scars to remain for a long time. It reminds us of how fragile our lives are. It keeps us from forgetting too quickly the sufferings of our community.

I have a scar on my hand. It is an old knife wound. Most people are too polite to ask about it -- but sometimes a young person who isn't bothered with meaningless inhibitions will ask. I hem and haw and talk mysteriously about it being a knife wound. "It happened about 3 AM one Friday night in a Pizza Hut back when I was in college, when I was living a different sort of lifestyle than I do today."

I leave it at that and let their minds wander.

Truth is, I was managing the restaurant and there was only one other person with me. We were cleaning up -- well, mostly we were fooling around. For some reason we started sword fighting. Yep, with knives. He cut my hand and we laughed. I remember saying, "You know, that was a dumb thing for us to do." We laughed some more, got into a car and drove to the hospital for some stitches.

The scar reminds me not to be stupid.

My sister died when she was 7 years old. She would have been 55 years old this year. When my Dad was in the hospital and he knew he was about to die, he talked about her. You could tell the wounds had healed, but the scars remained. Even though the pain was gone, the scars on my father's soul reminded him of the love he had for that child.

It occurs to me that we have a permanently scarred God.

When Christ rose from the dead, Thomas asked for hard evidence, and he got it. Thomas saw the hole in the Lord's side where a spear had pierced. He saw the nail prints on his hands.

Remember the movie, The Passion? In my mind the most powerful scene was the Resurrection. Christ is cleaned and well groomed. He stands up, and you can see through his hand.

I would imagine that Christ could just as easily have been Resurrected without the scars.

But the scars remain, and I believe they are there by devine choice.

Christ cannot do anything without seeing those scars. He reaches out for us, and the scars are there. He embraces us, and the scars are there. He points to us in judgment, and the scars are there.

They remind Him, and us, of how extreme is His love for us.

Missed Opportunities

2006-01-17T23:31:00.000-05:00

For the past few years I have tried to get someone in my family to join me on a trip to Butterfly World. It is in Pompano Beach, and a few years ago I started going there whenever I would have to go to the Office of the Presbytery of Tropical Florida.

It is a wonderful place.

Soft music.

Flowers and well cared for gardens.

Birds in aviaries.

And butterflies -- hundreds of butterflies.

Today I got one of my sons and his girl friend to go with me to Butterfly World. From the first minute they were enchanted by this place. My son took over 200 digital photos. When it was time to leave, it was like pulling teeth.

It made me wonder, how many times do we fail to try something new or different? Wonderful opportunities are all around us, and we let them pass us by.

At least I got one son to go to Butterfly World. For the rest, it remains a lost opportunity they could be enjoying.

I wonder how many opportunities for joy and beauty I have let pass by?

Homeless

2006-01-13T08:30:00.000-05:00

Young men with nothing better to do have taken baseball bats and attacked homeless men in the area. At 1 AM, 2 AM and 4 AM, this small group picked out men whom they thought would not or could not fight back.

One is now dead.

I have no clue why people would do this, but I do often sense people's anger toward the homeless. There is resentment toward them. There is fear of homeless people.

Annette came into my office one day. She was well dressed and well mannered. She was obviously well educated. She and her 5th grade son were homeless. Her husband had beaten her one too many times, so she took a few belongings and she and her son drove away. They lived in their car. It is hard to find a homeless shelter or a battered-women's shelter to take in a woman with a 10 year old boy.

We finally found a shelter she didn't mind staying in. We helped her get interviews and eventually she found a job. It's been a long time since they had to sleep in the car.

Bonnie and her husband Chuck were living in an apartment when I first met them. They were both struggling with drug addiction -- especially Chuck. By the time I baptized their child, they were homeless. Bonnie sometimes earned extra money through prostitution. The last time I saw Chuck was on a Sunday morning. We had a guest preacher and during the sermon I watched him stumble into the Sanctuary and sit on the back pew. When the preacher asked a rhetorical question, Chuck got up and shouted out an answer, "The meek shall inherit the earth." It was a nice Bible verse, but had nothing to do with the question.

The preacher continued his sermon and Chuck decided it was time to leave. He walked to the narthex and came to a sudden stop. I knew what was going through his mind. There were double doors and I think he was just sober enough to understand he was just drunk enough that he might be seeing double. So instead of walking through one of the two doors, he headed for the middle where he hit a wall and collapsed on the floor.

The ushers quietly helped him out the door, while the only ones in the Sanctuary who could see this were me, the choir, and the guest preacher.

I still see Bonnie from time to time.

Danny is not on drugs and rarely drinks. He does not work. He sleeps at the church behind a storage building. He'll show up for a few days, then disappear for weeks, then reappear. He sometimes comes to the early worship service after eating the breakfast we serve on Sunday mornings. For the past several years he has been here every Christmas Eve, attending the services at 7 PM, 9 PM and 11 PM. He doesn't like shelters -- "People there are crazy, and they steal all my stuff." He likes the way he lives and he doesn't want to change it.

Evelyn was homeless for over a year. She was finally able to move into a cheap apartment and the youth and I went over to help her repair some windows. It was an easy task and one of the kids asked why her neighbors wouldn't help. She gave an evasive answer, but the truth is that the neighbors would then expect sexual favors from Evelyn. She was a prostitute and desperately wanted out of that life. She went to school to study legitimate massage therapy, was certified and employed. I guess that was employment that was too close to her previous work. She was arrested and the last I saw of her was when she came to the church to do community service. It's hard to get a better life -- it looks easy when we look from the outside, but it's not.

Mario lived on the streets seeking to stay below everyone's radar. He paid for a boat ride to America, arriving illegally from Haiti. I've been to Haiti and it is a terrible place. Living on the streets in Miami is better than living in the average Haitian home. Eventually INS caught up with him and he was sent back to Haiti. Had he been from Cuba, the moment his foot touched dry land he would have been allowed entry into this country. Being Haitian, he was sent back.

Yolanda writes or calls me from time to time to tell me how grateful she is for what the church and I did for her. She was homeless and definitely did not want to stay that way. At one point she was living in a small, but upscale apartment, with 12 other people. They were all from Colombia and were all well-educated. But they had come to this country for a new start. Yolanda eventually found it.

The only one who prompted a call to the police was a nameless man who came to the church looking for food. My secretary and I went into the food bank and filled up a bag for him. He started hitting on me, grabbing at my crotch. I was able to fend him off, but the guy was so high on drugs there was no way to reason with him. I told the secretary to call the police and they came and drove him away -- no charges were filed and I haven't seen him since. It is the kind of thing that invites jokes, but I never found it funny and the secretary never made light of it.

Some homeless are dangerous.

Some are not.

Some homeless are drug addicts.

Some are not.

Some are drunks.

Some are not.

Some are prostitutes.

Some are not.

In the area, a few young people took baseball bats and beat homeless men. Their attacks were at 1 AM, 2 AM and 4 AM.

One man died.

Homeless people are many things, but they are first and foremost people.

One homeless person might stink.

One homeless person might be a bit crazy.

One homeless person might be drunk.

One homeless person might reject help.

But none of them deserved to be beaten by a stranger to the point of death.

King Tut

2006-01-12T22:30:00.000-05:00

So let me get this straight -- I finally figure out how to post pictures on this blog, and the first interesting place I go to won't let me take pictures?

Well, at least I can show you the photo of the ticket which clearly says, "No cameras allowed."

My family and I went to the Museum of Art in Fort Lauderdale with the Seniors group. It was very difficult for some of the members -- we bought tickets in advance and had a time to be at the museum. Then we stood in line for an hour -- think Disneyworld lines, twisting and turning. Then the tour took 90 minutes. Some of the members gave up and walked a bit faster and met us at a restaurant in the area.

Difficulty aside, we all loved the day.

These artifacts are centuries old -- for an American where the Alamo is pretty darned old, 3000 years is a bit difficult to comprehend.

The art work of the craftsmen is wonderful. Seeing these things in person you can appreciate the tiny details. The colors of these items remains so vivid!

If you have a chance to go -- do it. It is in South Florida until April 23rd, then it heads to Chicago, Philadelphia, and finally London. For more information, go to http://www.kingtut.org/.

Murder-Suicide

2006-01-09T20:53:00.000-05:00

I am haunted by the woman's story.

I never met her, and even now cannot remember her name.

She was killed by her husband, a police officer. They were married in a Las Vegas wedding five weeks earlier. When she returned from her honeymoon, her body was covered with bruises. She admitted to her family that her husband was abusive. Ten days after the wedding, the woman had moved out. Then a few days ago, the husband convinced her to join him for a trip to Universal Studios in Orlando, which she did. They were going to talk about their relationship.

The woman left her parents' home at 10:30 AM.

At 3:30 PM, she called her mother and asked for help to get home.

Ten minutes later, the parents were in the car and beginning a 3 to 4 hour trip.

But even then it was too late. Five minutes after making the call, the woman had been killed by her husband, who then put the gun to his head and took his own life.

I did the woman's funeral because her mother's next door neighbor attends our church on rare occasions.

I happened to come across the "pastor's card" today -- when we do funerals, the funeral home gives the pastor a nice little card. It has the name of the person who died, lists some relatives, and gives a little bit of other information.

I'm saddened by the memory of this woman's life.

I'm saddened by the tragedy of her death.

I'm saddened that here was a valuable human being and for the life of me I cannot remember her name.

My first blog photo

2006-01-07T20:07:00.000-05:00

I've never posted a photo on my blog, and I thought it was time for me to give it a try.

I attended a conference in the local area this week -- it was about how the church should stand up against torture.

In the photo, you see several symbols.

These are symbols Rick Ufford-Chase brought to the conference, No2Torture. One is a basket -- for our love offering to reimburse two churches in the area that provided us with food and lodging for our conference.

There is a cup -- something Rick picked up from his trip to the Congo -- where people have suffered from oppression and violence. The brown covered Bible is Ricks, which he uses when he travels. The cross comes from Costa Rica, where the people know a lot about torture and violence. The ornament is Mary and the Christ Child, and comes from Bethlehem -- Christ was tortured before his death. The Bible at the bottom of the photo was brought to the conference by a chaplain, who served to remind us that while we are meeting to discuss our nation's policies on torture, we also need to be supportive of our military members. All of these were placed on a Prayer Shawl. Rick said he had been unaware of how people knitted these as a prayer discipline, until recently when someone gave him one to give to the victims of Katrina. After that, he began to receive many such shawls.

Passion -- No2Torture -- and the Book of Daniel

2006-01-07T19:48:00.000-05:00

Rick, the moderator of the national level of our denomination, is a great guy.

I am continually impressed by this man. He is a true Christian and a wonderful leader and healer.

I saw him at a conference here in South Florida -- No2Torture.

One of the introductory remarks he made was about how Christians should be passionate. This is not an exact quote -- but it is close.

"In the church we should talk from our passion. In the church we often moderate passion. If you moderate your views, I'll moderate my views. Then we can just meet in the middle and get along."

Rick said we should remain passionate about the things we believe -- but instead of everyone moderating their views to passionless positions, we should be more respectful of one another.

Hopefully I'll write about some of the conference issues later.

On another topic -- or maybe on the same topic -- I missed the new NBC show, "The Book of Daniel." Thankfully there is the VCR! I found it crowded with efforts to establish all too quickly everyone's character. There were some "balony factors" you just have to accept (would any vestry, session or board NOT call the police when they find a few millions missing from the church school fund?).

All in all, I loved it. I thought it was a great show. Ministers are human, and while everyone knows that, it seems we prefer to pretend they (we) are not human. I also loved the way Jesus was portrayed. I found Him the most real of all.

I've received tons of email from folks asking me to join the petition to have this show removed from the NBC line-up. Those people do feel passionate. OK -- I can live with that. I hope they live with the fact that I really liked the show and look forward to more to come.

What is happening to America?

2005-12-30T20:47:00.000-05:00

What is happening to America?

The President has admitted that he broke the law against domestic spying and ignored the Constitution.

America has invaded another country based on a claim of a threat that was false. Our President has said he would have invaded even if he had known there was no threat.

Our nation is using torture.

We hold prisoners for years without charges or due process. Some are as young as 11 years old. As Maj Gen Wodjakowski said, "I don't care if we're holding 15,000 innocent civilians. We're winning the war." But are we losing our values?

We operate secret prisons overseas.

We pay journalists to write propaganda in our own nation and abroad.

All of this is done in the name of protecting American lives.

Robert Steinback wrote about much of this in a column in the Miami Herald recently. He asks an interesting question -- "Who would have remembered Patrick Henry had he written, "What's wrong with giving up a little liberty if it protects me from death?"

American lives are important, but what of our values?

Pastoral Meme

2005-12-30T00:51:00.000-05:00

I keep seeing "memes" in blogs, so I thought I would create my own. It goes with what I'm doing.

The vacation I'm on is actually something that three of us started in 1980. It was called the Annual Ecumenical Pastoral Enhancement Conference. Three of us were chatting about how we needed to celebrate our ordinations with a trip to the beach. We didn't have any money to take our wives to the beach, so we started looking for ways to spend our new Continuing Education budget together. We couldn't agree on a conference that we all liked, and then Bart said, "Why don't we do our own conference? I'll lecture you guys on crap Methodist ministers put up with, and you two can lecture me on crap the Presbyterians put up with -- and we can hold this conference at the beach."

So we did.

It started as a joke, but it has developed into an annual gathering of our families. It is a retreat in the truest sense of the word.

We usually just take turns hosting the AEPEC at each other's homes. Next year, we meet in Miami, then it is onto Columbia, SC -- this year it is Atlanta. The time of year changes -- I think this is the first Christmastide event we've held.

Occasionally we think of holding it in Paris.

Anyway, we were all thinking together about a Pastoral Meme -- those of you who are pastors might enjoy the challenge of answering. Those of you who are not pastors might enjoy the glimpse into the lives of the members of the AEPEC.

1. When were you ordained?
1980

2. What was the first official act you did as an ordained minister?
I gave a prayer of invocation at a fund raiser for a democratic congressman and long-time family friend.

3. What were your most embarrasing moments in ministry?
I don't embarrass easily. I would have to say talking to someone recently and confusing them with her sister -- I felt horrible about that one.

4. What have been your best moments in ministry?
I've had great growth in membership. I've held high positions in presbytery, published a number of things, accomplished a lot of measurable goals. But the best moments have been in pastoral care -- being with someone at death, holding the hand of someone who is in a nursing home, etc.

5. What weddings are your most memorable?
We all have tons of wedding stories. After a while, you get tired of the weddings that are so formal, over priced, or combat zones for fragmented families. One delightful wedding involved a couple from Africa. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dad went to the ER with a suspected heart attack (false alarm) an hour before the service. People were late. Organist was late. Rain was pouring down and everyone came into the sanctuary soaked. Just as we -- the best man, groom and I -- were about to enter the sanctuary, the best man starts patting his jacket and pants' pockets and says, "I left the rings at home."

Well if I had a dime for everytime I heard that lame joke.

But it was true.

I thought, this is it, this will be the last straw.

But no, the bride and groom didn't care. They borrowed their parent's rings and the service continued.

They enjoyed the wedding. They were determined to have a great time no matter what happened. That will probably be a strong marriage.

6. What baptisms are your most memorable?
The child who snored in my lapel mike while I held her. We were all laughing at that one.

Presbyterians baptize through sprinkling, pouring or immersion, and I've only done one immersion. It was at South Beach. The congregation all followed me and Matthew as we walked to the water wearing old choir robes. Two thoughts came to mind as we meandered our way through sand castle building children and topfree sunbathing women -- first, I suddenly realized what St. Paul meant when he wrote about being a fool for Christ, and I savored and enjoyed that foolishness. Second, while Presbyterians do not practice PRIVATE baptism, this was the first truly public one I'd ever done.

Then there were the Davis twins -- the Associate took one and I took the other. For that one, we added a line we had removed from the liturgy -- "Name this child." Mom actually had to check to see which ear had the piercing (which was how they were telling them apart).

Also I remember my own son's. Some ministers invite other pastors to do their children's baptism -- a tradition I never understood.

7. What do you hate about ministry?
The feeling that I am wasting my time and that I have never accomplished anything worthwhile.

8. What do you love about ministry?
The feeling that I am doing something worthwhile and that I am accomplishing something every day.

9. What do you wish your parishioners would do for you?
Pray for me. That may sound corny, but it is true. I have people who pray for me, and it makes a world of difference.

10. If you were not a minister, what would you be?
A retired minister.

11. If you were not a member of your current denomination, which would you be?
Episcopal -- I love the Book of Common Prayer.

12. Who have been your mentors?
Tom Long -- my professor during my Master of Divinity and Doctoral programs. Great preacher.
My father.
One of my former Presbytery Executives.

13. Who are your top 5 favorite bloggers and why?

1. Donna in Hollywood -- she is a member of a Presbyterian Church, has a Stephen Minister, and has struggled with cancer.

2. Rev. Bill -- I like his writings, and he often sends me to other new blogs and interesting web places.

3. There is a whole group of Rev. Gal Pals -- They are each worth reading -- St. Casserole, Quotidian Grace, Rev. Mommy, and all of the others. OK, I'm cheating here. Five is not enough and this is my way of including a bunch!

4. There are several bloggers from Columbia Seminary -- Baily Blog, Fork in the Road, Exodus 4:13, These seminarians remind me of how out of touch I've become with some issues in the church -- and they reveal to me how out of touch the seminarians are with the realities in the church. Well, I suppose that is something that never changes.

5. Is there still room to mention Kitty Titty, Dawn, Thoughts from a First Year Minister and
Rebel without a Pew?

There -- that's five!

Oh no -- I left out I Married The Pastor.

14. What was it like the first time you were with someone who died?
Humbling. It is the most sacred ground I ever stand upon.

15. What was it like the first time someone made sexual advances to you -- their pastor?
It was at a funeral, and I knew the woman whose father had died was a prostitute. Don't be judgmental -- she was struggling with poverty and trying to get out of the sex trade. After the funeral, I went to her and said something and shook her hand. She took my hand and put it on her breast and said, "If there is anything I can ever do for you, let me know."

I was so shocked I jerked my hand away without even savoring the moment.

"Just glad to be of help m'ame."

That was the end of it.

16. If you were not the pastor, would you be a member of your congregation?
Yes -- it is one of the "test questions" my family and I ask about a church considering us.

17. What is the best thing about your church?
I like preaching in a church that is basically 50% white, 50% black, with Hispanics of both colors, and lots of folks from different nations.

18. Do you think of leaving your church and/or ministry?
I think of leaving the congregation for the next call, but I'm not at the point of serious thought and action.

Leave the ministry? No.

OK -- anyone else want to add their answers on their blogs? Let me know in the comments section so I can see your answers.

Things I've Learned As Senior Pastor

2005-12-28T11:15:00.000-05:00

One thing I have learned in the ministry is that the only person who can take care of the minister is the minister.

Lately my hours have been rough -- I start work at 8 AM and finish at 11 PM, midnight or 1 AM. I'll take a 2 hour break when I get home, spending time with the family and cooking supper. Occasionally I'll spend a few minutes surfing the web as a diversion.

It's part of the Advent and Christmas routine -- too much to do and too little time. Long ago, I learned to finish my Christmas shopping by November. I suppose that is the second thing I've learned in ministry.

If I tell people about my long hours, they think I am exaggerating, or they will say, "You think you got it bad, let me tell you about my life..."

The one thing I have to do when I get home is to get back on track with my exercise program. No one will do it for me.

What else have I learned?

1. Never tell people you are taking a day off, or that you can't meet with them because you are taking your son to a movie or planning a romantic dinner with the wife. That produces a negative response. Simply say, "I'm booked at that time, what other time is good for you?" People respect your professional time more than your personal time.

2. Proof read the bulletin over and over -- with lots of eyes looking at it. Any mistake will be the pastor's fault.

3. Protect your staff. Stand up for the Associate Pastors, DCEs, custodians -- everyone. You are all in the same boat. Never put down a staff member in front of a parishioner. If the staff member screws up, deal with it behind closed doors with just the staff member, and maybe a couple of elders if it is serious.

4. Negotiate salary and compensation when you accept the call. Never negotiate after that. Negotiate for the staff members, encouraging the Session to give Cost of Living and Merit increases. If you succeed for them, the Session will provide for the Senior Pastor. If the church has a good staff -- you all deserve the best the church can give.

5. Never handle money belonging to the church. I made this a rule from the beginning, so there is no experience-story here. Sometimes people will hand me an offering envelope and say they were working in the nursery or whatever, and couldn't put it in the plate -- I tell them I don't handle church money, and ask and elder to handle it for us. The people seem to appreciate this hard and fast rule.

6. Always have access to people's giving records. Some churches won't let you do this, but we know who is on drugs, who is having an affair, and who is doing all sorts of private and secret things. Knowing that a person who gives generously has suddenly severely cut giving indicates there is a pastoral concern. Is the person suddenly unemployed? Is the person angry and trying to send a message to church leaders?

7. Always stay in touch with the members who need pastoral care. Follow-up after a while. Everyone forgets a person whose Mom died 4 months ago -- but they are still grieving and a call from the pastor is always appreciated.

8. Never make pastoral visits in homes. This one I break, but only on rare occasions. Nothing bad ever happened to me, but I could see the potential as a young pastor. A woman said she and her husband wanted to talk to me, so I went to her home and found only the wife. She was wearing a see-through blouse and was mad at her husband for having an affair -- she must have thought I'd be good revenge. Twice I've had people pull a gun on me -- we need to remember the church attracts disturbed people (healing is our business, after all). If I go to someone's home, an elder must go with me. I always clarify this sort of thing in the hiring or call process.

9. Someone in business told me that the most important person to a meeting should be the last to arrive and the first to leave -- it is a time saving thing. I've learned pastors need to be the last to arrive at a meeting, start the meeting immediately, but after the meeting we need to be the last to leave. The socializing builds foundations for pastoral care.

10. Prayer is crucial. I spend at least an hour a day in the Sanctuary or walking in the neighborhood in prayer. Truth be told -- that's not enough.

11. Reserve only one or two nights per week for work. The rest is for the family. For me it is Tuesday and Wednesday. On Wednesday, me family is attending church programs -- so I reserve that time to meet with individuals in the office. Tuesday is usually Session or a committee.

12. Network! Meet lots of other ministers and church educators. Help them when you can. They can help you as well. Support one another. For Presbyterians, this means being part of the Presbytery.

13. Be a cheerleader. You know people who just make you feel good when you see them? That is the kind of person you should be for others. People need to feel good about their pastors and churches -- help them feel that way.

14. Be sincere. There are times when cheerleading is inappropriate. Know the difference.

15. Remember the names of parishioners' children and pets -- and be sincerely interested in them.

16. Consider the children true parishioners, and treat them accordingly.

17. Dress appropriately. I always wore a suit and a clerical collar until I moved to Miami -- now it is jeans and a clerical collar, which is culturally appropriate for an inner city congregation in the tropics.

18. Remember the Coca-Cola rule. We are going to the Coca-Cola museum later today. YES, there really is such a museum in Atlanta. How can one visit Atlanta without taking in the Coca-Cola museum, Cyclorama or the Varsity? Remember the cola wars of the 1980s? Coca Cola and Pepsi were in hot competition, and Coca Cola decided the best way to compete with Pepsi was to become Pepsi. They changed the formula and sweetened the taste. Sales went down. Stock prices plummeted. They went back to the real Coke. As Popeye the Sailer man said, "I yam what I yam." God Himself said, "I am what I am." Or as Will said in a play, "To thine ownself be true." Be yourself.

Well, those are a few thoughts -- I might post some more. What have you guys learned? If you are in the ministry or not -- what have you learned about the work of the pastor?

I Love Vacations!

2005-12-27T08:19:00.000-05:00

I was standing behind the pulpit.

It was 11:30 PM on Christmas Eve.

I was close to the end of my sermon, which I had delievered three times that night.

"I could just collapse," I thought to myself.

"I could fall over, and not say anything. People would gather around and say, "John, are you OK?"

If I didn't say anything, someone would come and take me away.

They would put me in a bed in a hospital and feed me. There would be a television set with a remote.

How did I let myself get so tired?

But, I made it through the services and now I'm at home. We are on our way up north to Atlanta later today.

("Up north to Atlanta?" -- I never thought I'd live so far south that Atlanta would be considered north, but after a decade or so, I'm getting used to it.)

We're going to visit family in Atlanta -- maybe I'll drop by the Seminary -- or maybe the new Aquarium. And maybe I'll post something here. And maybe I won't :)

If I don't post anything while we travel, I will definitely be back soon. After I return home there is a conference in my backyard -- No2Torture. I hope to post something about that event.

Well, I'm babbling. Maybe they should have taken me away after all :)

Marathon -- here I come!

2005-12-24T15:27:00.000-05:00

No -- not Marathon, Florida.

The Christmas Eve Marathon. For years we have had the same schedule -- 7 PM, 9 PM and 11 PM. On Christmas Day we have one service instead of the usual routine -- 10 AM.

I love the services.

I love the candles.

The music.

The children.

And yes, even the CEO's who come to visit -- you know who you are. Christmas and Easter Only.

I hope everyone has a Happy Christmas and a Merry Holy Day.

Test for sinning

2005-12-23T09:41:00.000-05:00

Is this for real? Well, maybe...

Greed:	Very Low
Gluttony:	Very Low
Wrath:	Very Low
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

As our nation loses its soul...

2005-12-20T22:29:00.000-05:00

Our nation has a soul.

It is called the Constitution.

Terrorists can burn the White House and the nation will survive -- the British burned it in 1814, but the nation moved forward.

A sniper can put a bullet in the head of a beloved President, and the government continues -- 1963 was a sad year, but America endured.

A President can resign in disgrace, and the rule of law will stand firm -- as it did in 1974 when President Ford declared "Our long national nightmare is over."

Let Mt. Rushmore crumble.

Let the Statue of Liberty collapse into the waters of Upper New York Bay.

Let the Liberty Bell turn to dust.

Let even the ink upon the old parchments fade from the Constitution of the United States.

But as long as the words of the Constitution survive and are kept in force our nation will endure.

The only true threat to our country is the abdication of our Constitution.

Have you ever noticed that when joining the American military the soldier, airman or sailor does not vow to protect the people or the government or the land? They are asked to state their names and solemnly swear (or affirm) to "support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic." Judges, senators and representatives of congress repeat the same oath, according to the US Code, section 5, subpart B, chapter 33.

Likewise, the President of the United States does not pledge or swear to protect America, Americans, national security, or vital interests. He or she must pledge "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

If the Constitution dies, so does the soul of our nation.

Which brings me to the first ten amendments that were added to the Constitution -- we call them the Bill of Rights. The Fourth Amendment says, "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation and particularly describing the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized."

Few provisions of the Bill of Rights grew so directly out of the experience of the colonials as the Fourth Amendment. It had long been part of English law, and Americans were slow in embracing the concept -- which it did after painful experience.

King George and his soldiers had frequently entered homes without permission of the owners or warrants from a court.

After the Revolution, Americans found it easy to think that their own government would respect the English concept, ''Every man's house is his castle.''

No.

Any government will abuse its power over the individual, and so a collection of amendments were added to the Constitution protecting the rights of the citizen.

Which brings me to President George W. Bush.

He is spying on American citizens.

He calls warrants inconvenient -- but under the Foreign Intelligence surveillance Act, a warrant PRIOR to the search is not necessary. The government has three days after the search to obtain the warrent, thus enabling immediate action in dealing with potential terrorists.

Our nation is losing its soul.

Could it be that the terrorists won on September 11, 2001, and we are only just now noticing?

Who Will Be The 5,000th visitor

2005-12-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I've had 5,000 hits since July 1st, when I started the hit meter.

I'll give 500 points to anyone who identifies himself or herself as visitor 5,000.

Right now the counter is at 4,909.

Being a Prostitute for God

2005-12-19T13:35:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting comment on my previous post: Lorna heard it said in her church, "I don't serve as we emply our pastor and secretary to do that."

Ideally, the paid staff should be here to help the volunteers in their service of God -- we are not paid to do the work of God for them.

In my first church, I struggled with this issue. My elders wanted me to visit the people of the church. I grew up in the church and the pastor was always a big part of our family. The pastor was invited to parties, and even a few that were mostly family gatherings. We would give the pastor gifts at Christmas and on birthdays. Occasionally the pastor was invited to join us for dinner, or we'd take the pastor and family out to a restaurant. But I don't remember any of our pastors coming to our house unannounced for a visit.

I suppose it is a cultural thing. I was willing to do it, but I hadn't really prepared for it.

"Who will go with me," I asked.

"Pastor, we don't visit. That's what we pay you to do."

What about praying for the people, visiting them in hospitals, helping them get to the doctor -- what about loving the people?

Am I paid to love the people so the members don't have to?

Sounds a bit like a prostitute.

Give me some cash and I'll make the members feel good and loved, and then I'll go home.

Paid clergy can be a problem in a church, if the church doesn't understand that paid staff are there to help the church be the church -- not be the church for them.

Re-Doing the Church

2005-12-17T23:11:00.000-05:00

If you could re-invent the church, what would it look like?

Real Live Preacher asks that in his blog -- you can read his vision in his December 5th posting.

Real Live Preacher goes onto to describe a church that looks like most of the churches I've served -- at least in some ways.
--We would meet once or twice a week to worship together. This meeting would be a very high priority in our lives.
--We would make these friendships intentional ones and make it a point to spend time together.
--We would agree to pray and study the scriptures together and on our own.
--We would nurture each other and care for one another, especially if one of us was hurting or in need.

But he goes onto say some things that are quite different...
--We would never pay anyone to be a professional Christian. There would be no staff, no paid ministers, no salaries, and no overhead.
--We would never purchase or rent a place to worship. Homes would suffice.
---If there is preaching, it would be done by everyone. All who feel ready to share would take their turn. You would have weeks or even months to read your passage of scripture prayerfully. Then you would simply share the wisdom you found in the scriptures with your good friends.

Hey, anyone out there remember the 1960's and 1970's?

Real Live Preacher describes EXACTLY what was happening in the church during that time. We called it the Jesus Movement, and people referred to us as Jesus People.

We had no paid staff.

We met in homes.

We collected offerings and they were always at least a tithe of what we made. We gave the money to missions or to the poor among us.

We never advertized, or even had press releases -- but people found us even though we worshipped every week in a different home.

Anyone could preach, and we never knew who was going to preach at any given time.

It was wonderful. It had passion and drive. We were bringing people to know Christ.

So what happened?

The money we gave away was often wasted, because there was no structure for discernment. Someone asked us, we gave it.

The groups got too big for homes, so each house church birthed newer house churches. But none of them were large enough to do mission work effectively, and so we found ourselves moving to larger, more traditional congregations.

Because anyone could preach, anyone did. We heard a lot of heresy back then. One of them was the Children of God movement. One of my friends became caught up in the sex and drugs that cult was famous for.

Eventually, we moved more and more into traditional churches, and called on them to offer contemporary worship. Yep -- there is nothing new about contemporary worship. I find them very nostalgic. They offer pretty much the same format as we were offering in the 1970s --- except we've gotten rid of the overhead transparency in favor of the power point presentation.

I am not putting Real Live Preacher down -- not at all. I think his vision has courage and I share some of this thoughts. My church has a motto of sorts -- reformed and always reforming.

We ought to always be rethinking the way we do church.

We need to be careful, however. There are lots of dangers here!

We could create just another human institution, rather than rebuild the Body of Christ.

It is easy to lay aside 2000 years of lessons we've learned -- forcing us to live through the same mistakes.

Everytime a group wants to re-image the church, they often accomplish only one thing -- another division in the unity of Christ.

If a group does re-create the church, it must realize that the church needs two things -- a body and a soul. The organization and the purpose. The structure and the mission. Alban Institute refers to these as the mission and the enterprise of the church.

The enterprise is the part many have longed to get rid of -- structure, buildings, committees, and such. We need order -- which means some form of government and some way of saying who gets to teach and what confession or doctrines will they preach and teach.

And on the other hand, there is the part that excites those of us in the church -- it is the church's missional aspect. That means our soul, purpose, passion and mission . Think tithing, fellowship, mission work, Bible study, and such.

The enterprise of the church is what enables the mission of the church to happen.

I have found that when a church does both of these two areas well -- THAT is where you find a great church.

When they do either poorly -- you will find that is a church that can't function.

So what's my vision?

1. Church members would not be allowed to radiate Gamma Radiation (see previous entry).

2. We would have smaller sessions, so that everyone has a voice and we get things done quicker and more effectively.

3. Elders would visit more, pray with people more.

4. Members would invite friends and strangers to church.

5. Every church would be multi-cultural. In 25 years plus of ministry, I've only served one congregation that was of one race -- I didn't like it.

6. On Sundays I could preach as a prophet without being crucified by Friday.

7. Speaking of talking prophetically, I could tell Adam he is an ass hole and he would agree to stop being an ass hole. I could use anatomically correct terms in the conversation and not be crucified by Friday.

8. People could tell me I'm an ass hole, and do it in a loving way -- I'd listen and figure out how to improve my life. That would be much better than what they do now -- "Good sermon preacher, good sermon preacher, good sermon preacher," as they shake my hand at the door.

9. I would love to see churches cluster in cooperation. One office building for several churches. One copy machine, one secretary or two, maybe one educator, one youth director, etc. Perhaps share pastors. The church buildings would be for worship, fellowship and education, but not for business. Cut a lot of cost there and enjoy more cooperation. It's a way of getting toward what Real Live Preacher desires, while accomodating the culture we are in.

10. I would like elders learn that a church budget is nothing like a government or business budget. It is a cash flow system that depends on the generousity of others, and that pledges are not a guarenteed income. You don't have to balance a budget with pledges that "insure" we will have enough to cover expenses. Elders should understand that they control the budget, the budget does not control them. Can you tell we approved our budget for 2006 this week?

11. Worship would not change, at least in my church -- I like the traditional at 8:30 with Communion every week. I like the 11:00 with the wide variety of music and worship styles. I like the Saturday 5 PM contemporary.

Hmmm.... that's a beginning of my thoughts -- what's your vision?

More on Adam -- and other people who radiate Gamma Ray stuff

2005-12-17T22:20:00.000-05:00

St. Casserole asked, "Why does Adam stay?" (see yesterday's post)

Good question.

I have known three people who got under my skin the way Adam does -- although Adam is by far the one who gets to me the most.

Burt was Clerk of Session in my first church. He suddenly turned on me and began making my life misserable. One of the other elders pulled me aside and told me that Burt was a cumpulsive gambler. Whenever he was losing he would attack the minister -- whoever that might be at any time. He'd been doing this for years.

Charlie was my Presbytery Executive. He attacked me and everyone else in the presbytery. He actually accused me of falsifying the annual report we have to turn into the Presbytery office, claiming, "no church could grow that fast." My whole session met with him and we documented every single new member for that year. Looking back, I regard that accusation as a complement.

But he made my life miserable, and he tortured other ministers as well.

Charlie died a few years ago. He'd had a rare brain disorder that effected his conduct. Eventually he lost his memory and the ability to take care of his most basic needs. I look back on the years before his illness and give thanks for all in him that was good and kind and faithful.

Diane and her family became very antagonistic. I'd invited an African American family to the church. It's one of the reasons I served only two years in Alabama.

So what is Adam's story?

Why does he stay in this church?

First, because he has no where else to go. It is the only place in his life where people are civil to him.

Second, he is powerless in his life. He has suffered unemployment frequently. His job is always on the line. His children rebel against him and his wife. The powerless often find the church to be a place where they can grasp power. Sadly, they miss the whole point of authority in the church as being a role of servanthood.

Third, I have learned that he fears change. It is not just that he doesn't like change. He is terrified of it. Many people may use the old expression, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Adam would say, "If it's broke, don't go messing with it because it might get worse."

One thing I am sure of -- when Christ returns to earth and sets up His kingdom, and we celebrate the Feast of the Lamb -- I will be there. I will sit there and savor the moment my savior allowed me to sit in His presence.

I will turn to one side and see Adam.

And on the other side there will be Burt, and across from me will be Charlie, and next to him will be Diane.

We will take the bread and eat it together.

We will take the cup and drink the wine together.

We will know that each of us is made in the image of God, and each of us are loved by God, and each of us will be at that table because the Lamb gave his life for each of us.

If God loves us so much, Adam and I really ought to get along together.

When I found out Burt was a gambler and had lost his home, I could love him because I understood something of his pain.

When I found out Charlie was close to death and why, I could love him becuase I understood why he had acted the way he had.

When I reflect on Diane, I know that racism is a terrible sin. I don't share that type of sin with her, but I have other sins I struggle with, and knowing that I am a sinner of a different sort helps me love a fellow sinner.

Someday I will understand Adam a bit better. Perhaps love will come more easily at that time. But for now I have to watch out for those Gamma Rays.

There is something about Adam, and I think it's radioactive

2005-12-16T17:46:00.000-05:00

There is a fellow in our church named Adam.

The sad thing about Adam is that he is radioactive. I'm not sure how this happened, but he has some sort of rare condition in which his body radiates a type of Gamma Ray radiation.

You know the kind -- the type of Gamma Rays that turned David Bruce Banner into the raging Hulk.

Adam comes near me and I feel the radiation getting to me.

My blood begins to boil.

My blood pressure increases.

My skin turns green.

My body expands, ripping apart my all of my clothing -- well, not quite. For some strange reason my shirt is ripped, by shoes are ripped, my socks pop off, but my pants stay intact.

OK -- maybe it is not that bad, but there is something about Adam.

He just gets to me.

"Love your neighbor," Jesus said, echoing the teachings that God has given since the dawn of time.

I have no problem with that until I see Adam coming.

Adam. Elder. Member of the Session, which is the governing body of the church.

Adam, who shut down the food pantry in the church, convinced the Session to cut mission budget, led the move to freeze salaries for a year, and drove the last two secretaries I had nuts. Each eventually resigned. I often expect my current secretary to resign.

Adam, who lies to people, manipulates people and has such a sweet smile as he stabs people in the back.

Adam is tough to love.

Adam! I despise him. I detest him. I am alergic to him -- he actually causes my blood pressure to go up (record so far was 205/105 -- calling for me to take a day or two off).

I see him headed down the sidewalk to the office, and I walk out the door and head to the nursing home to visit Miss Beth.

I see him in the sanctuary and I find myself turning to Claire for a chat with her in the far pew.

I'm not the only one. I notice that when David organizes a group trip to the Marlins, there never seems to be a ticket left for Adam. When Evelyn is asking for volunteers for the Easter play, she avoids Adam. Elders don't stand up against him in Session meetings because he is so very toxic -- as I say, he has that Gamma Ray thing.

I decided a long time ago that Christian love is not an emotion. It is not something you possess for someone.

Christian love is a verb -- it is action. It is a way of respecting and treating someone.

I can't feel love for Adam -- I'm trying my best not to feel hate for him.

But I can love Adam in the way I deal with him. I can treat him like a human being and show him respect.

So I look out the window and see him coming, should I stay and chat with him when he arrives in my office?

I see him in the Sanctuary, should I turn to greet him?

Should I make sure he gets a ticket to the game with the rest of the church group? I could make sure he'll get the aisle seat and I'll sit next to him.

No -- no I can't do that. He is a vampire who bits into my soul and sucks the life right out of me. He is toxic -- after all, he has that Gamma Ray thing. Being around him too much is bad for me -- I can't survive.

He is abusive and mean and a trouble making bully.

I think the solution is to turn into the Hulk. I could pick him up and hurl him across the room, then bang a hole in the wall and run away from it all.

What would Jesus do?

Actually, I think he would turn into the Hulk.

Remember the time Jesus walked into the Temple and saw the merchants making a buck on God? Jesus didn't turn green. His muscles didn't grow so his robe was ripped off his body. BUT he did pick up a few tables and turn them over. He made a whip and drove the merchants out. (Matthew 21:12-17)

Dr. Banner would understand.

Some behavior is unacceptable.

Some of it demands that we say "No!"

A friend of mine has a son who was about 10 years old when the family was visiting a church. Strange thing this ministry -- the whole family goes on the job interview. The search committee was showing my friend around the church and the chair of the search committee son, age 5, was picking on the prospective minister's son, age 10. The ten year old took it in stride and with great patience. However, when the 5 year old son of the search committee chair picked up a rock and hit the minister's son in the head, the preacher's kid snapped back, "Would you please stop acting like an ass hole."

My friend didn't get the job, but then the 5 year old did begin to behave.

So I talked to Adam the other day and told him to stop acting like an ass hole.

I did it in a very pastoral way, however, and no reference to body parts was included in the conversation.

It didn't help.

But then, I don't think Jesus was very effective in turning the tables over in the temple. Want evidence? Buy a bobble headed Jesus statue online.

But he still turned over the tables, because it was the right thing to do.

And so I told Adam to treat the staff, especially my secretary, with respect. It seemed to be a good starting point.

It didn't help.

So what now?

Turn green and go on a rampage?

No -- I think I will continue to love Adam and treat him with respect, but avoid him as much as practical. I won't run from him, but since he seems to radiate something toxic -- you know, that Gamma Ray thing -- I will limit my exposure to him.

It seems to be what Jesus would do.

Matthew 10:14 talked about dealing with a difficult person or community -- just dust your feet off and move on to the next person.

I can't change Adam -- but I won't let him change me either.

Green skin and tattered shirts would never look good on me.

Here I Is

2005-12-15T23:49:00.000-05:00

It was amazing!

I was walking down the street several weeks ago when all of a sudden a light appeared. I got sucked into a time portal and ...

... OK, that excuse didn't work when I was in high school and forgot my homework, and I guess it won't work now.

The truth is, I've been way too busy to blog. Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas is like a wild roller coaster. But things should even out now. I've got the worship services and sermons pretty much completed between now and the rest of this year -- which come to think of it, ain't much to be left of :)

Tomorrow will be my first day off in about two months. I'm tired and plan to get a massage at Living Waters Spa in Pembroke Pines -- great place. Very restful. Then I plan a day of catching up with some of my favorite bloggers, and to start writing in this blog again.

Catch you later :)

Veterans Day

2005-11-11T12:00:00.000-05:00

In 1968, Glenn walked into the high school building.

That was before security systems.

It was even before the now ubiquitous decal on school doors, "Visitors must sign in at the office."

He just walked right in and went from class to class saying "hi."

People used to do that all the time in 1968. Glenn had just gotten back from Vietnam and was spending a few days in his hometown before heading back for another tour of duty.

For those of you too young to know, 1968 was a lousy year. Martin was shot and killed. Bobby was shot and killed. Riots were in the cities. Our high school, like many others in the nation, was about to be integrated for the first time and tensions were high. North Koreans captured the US ship, Pueblo. There was the Tet Offensive. Remember the photo of a South Vietnamese shoting a prisoner in the head -- 1968. US ground troops in Vietnam masacred over 500 men, women and infants in My Lai during a 3 hour period until US fliers stopped them. The Soviet Union invaded Czechoslovakia. Nixon was re-elected.

The only good thing that seemed to happen was the successful flight of Apollo 8. There is a scene in Tom Hanks' HBO series "From Earth To The Moon," that mentions someone wrote a letter to NASA with the words, "You saved 1968."

You had to have been alive in 1968 to know what that would have meant.

So in March, 1968, Glenn came into the classroom.

He was a hero to us all, and not just because he got us off of the subject of Algebra. He was a soldier and he was from our home town. He had done his duty and we were proud of him. The fact that he had fought in Vietnam didn't matter. I don't remember ever having met a single person who supported that war, many were vocally and demonstratively opposed to that war.

The fact that everyone who greeted Glenn with love, honor and respect was also opposed to that war, taught me that Veterans' Day is not about supporting or honoring war. It is about supporting those who do what their nations asked of them.

There are stories of Vietnam vets coming home and being spat upon during those years. I never saw that -- perhaps the South is just a different culture. I've talked with Vietnam Veterans, and I know it happened to some, but not all.

I am strongly opposed to this present war we are fighting in Iraq. I think it is wrong and I think we are in a deep mess and will be for years to come. But come Sunday, I will ask Veterans to stand and be recognized, and then lead a prayer for those who served their nation, adding a special prayer for those who are serving right now.

You Know You Live In Florida when...

2005-11-10T14:16:00.000-05:00

1. You have FEMA's number on your speed dial.

2. You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.

3. Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O's.

4. You're thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.

5. Your Social Security Number is not a secret, it's written in sharpie on your arms.

6. The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone. (as in the wake left by a motor boat for you land lubers).

7. You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

8. Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain, today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

9. You catch a 13-pound redfish. In your driveway.

10. You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.

11. You can rattle off the names of all the meteorologist who work at your local stations and at least 3 of the ones on the Weather Channel.

12. Someone comes to your door to inform you that they found your roof.

13. A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

14. Your child's first words are "hunker down"

15. Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.

16. Toilet paper is worth more than gold coins.

17. You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."

18. Your kids start school in August and finish in July.

19. You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

Antiwar Sermon Brings IRS Warning

2005-11-07T22:10:00.000-05:00

According to the LA Times, the All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena may lose its tax-exampt status for remarks a pastor made in 2004.

Apparently a guest sermon by former recttor on October 31, 2004, prompted the IRS letter. In his sermon, Regas, who from the pulpit opposed both the Vietnam War and the Gulf War, preached a sermon that criticised the Presidents doctrine of pre-emptive war. In the same sermon, the pastor affirmed that people of faith could vote for either candidate -- Bush or Kerry. So this was apparently not a political statement, but a theological statement about war.

Click here for the story.

The church's newsletter material was last posted the day before the letter's receipt was announced in church, but it will be interesting to see if they say anything on the Internet. Hopefully, they will post the sermon. To go to the church page, click here.

Catching Predators Online

2005-11-04T22:35:00.000-05:00

I saw a disturbing edition of Dateline on NBC tonight.

I'll get to that later, but first let me tell you about Adam.

I met Adam in college. He was going into the ministry and so was I -- so immediately we had two things in common. We met at the Presbyterian student's organization, but we didn't hit it off for some reason. I didn't see much of him for another year or two.

The year that Nixon resigned, I was in summer school taking my toughest classes. I'd found summer was the best time to tackle the hard courses. Adam was also enrolled in the summer term and we found ourselves sitting at a table together in the dining hall with several other students.

"This food is awful," someone said -- to which the rest of us agreed and headed toward Shoneys.

Going to Shoneys was a routine that summer, and Adam was often part of the group. He seemed like a nice guy -- shy and a bit socially awkward, but other than that, a nice guy.

When summer ended and the Fall term began, Adam went his way and I went mine. We'd say "hi" when we ran into each other, but that was about it.

One day, he disappeared. He showed up several days later packing his room to move out. He'd been arrested for skinny dipping, so he said. That didn't fit -- we'd all done that. This was, after all, a school in the South.

We later learned he'd been skinny dipping with children. Or at least those were the rumors.

Years later I was on the alumni committee tracking down lost classmates. Adam was not on the list of the lost or found. He was not listed in the classes ahead or behind mine. I mentioned this to someone on staff of the school, who looked up his transcript. Nope. No Adam had ever been a student here.

I showed the staff member a year book photo. "I know he went to school here. He may not have graduated, but his father was a Marine general and was on the Board of Trustees."

"Oh yes," said the staff member. "I know who you are talking about now. Leave it alone. He's been erased from the earth."

Huh?

The story was that Adam had molested a professor's 11 year old son. He'd been kicked out of school and quietly arrested. He was now serving a prison term in the Caribbean.

I'd like to say Adam was the only predator I'd ever met, but I can't.

Bob was a member of my third pastorate. He gave me the creeps, but I was never sure why. Bob would give candy to the children and the kids loved him. My oldest son was around 5 or 6 at the time, and he would not go near Bob. I figured it was because my son was picking up on my feelings. Then again, perhaps not.

I walked into the sanctuary one day to see Bob all alone. A little girl was sitting in his lap enjoying some of his candy, while he rocked her back and forth -- and it was obvious to me what he was doing. The girl was oblivious to what Bob was up to, so I told her to go to Sunday School. I talked with the parents and we talked with the police -- but that was in the 1980's and even the police didn't know quite what to do with folks like Bob -- It was a different world back then and perhaps my evidence was a bit flimsy. The police caught him later with a 12 year old girl in his home -- both Bob and that girl were naked when the police went into the home. I remember the police told me his excuse -- "The air conditioner is broken and we got hot." When Bob died a few years ago, they named the church's playground after him.

Charlie was already a convicted sexual predators when I met him. He was on what was then the "new" internet. His mug shot was online with the State of Florida's web page.

David was the administrator of a nursing home. He was arrested for molesting a resident, and they later found he'd molested children. David was one of my elders.

Imagine my frustration last year when two of my elders balked when I suggested to the Session (or governing body of our church) that we should do background checks on all volunteer youth workers. The policy passed, and I sleep a little bit better these days.

But not much.

It is a dangerous world out there, as tonight's Dateline on NBC revealed.

The story involved reporters and investigators going online, pretending to be boys and girls age 12 , 13 or 14. In chat rooms, adult men made sexual advances toward them. I find so many things disgusting and incredible about this story.

I'm not naive -- I knew this existed. But what stunned me was the audacity and boldness of these predators.

They were invited to a private home, and they actually showed up and walked right in, expecting to find a young child to have sex with. That could be your home, or mine!

Once confronted by the Dateline reporter, some ran out the door while others sat down and had a conversation with the reporter. Only when the cameras came out did these run out the door.

Two things hit me hard -- one was a man who was asked online to arrive at the home and strip naked in the garage before coming in. He not only did this, but the next day he was caught online trying to meet yet another child.

The other was a rabbi.

Man of God.

None of these men have been arrested, but they are all under investigation.

For parents, Dateline's web page has a good list of things parents can do to keep their children safe.

The most important point: "it’s important for all of us parents to make certain computers are in open areas of our homes— not in kids bedrooms. We should know who their children are talking to online and Web cams."

I Feel Good (title must be read with the voice of James Brown)

2005-10-31T08:53:00.000-05:00

I love Sundays.

Well, most of the time.

Yesterday was a great day in church.

I had breakfast with the members in Fellowship Hall. The services went well. I did a baptism in one of the services. I preached a sermon I felt good about, and looking to next week my Associate will preach this coming Sunday. Then my wife and I went to lunch together and there were no committee meetings to attend during the afternoon or evening -- always a great thing!

After lunch, we went to the Muvico to see Zorro.

OK -- here's one of my sins. Actually a couple of them. First, I think you should sneak in your own popcorn in order to save money. My wife plays by the rules :( She believes in signs and there is a sign that says, "no outside food or drink."

Second, Zorro started at 2:15. It is a 2 hour and 10 minute movie. That means we should have been able to go to Capote at 4:35. If you are going to pay more money for popcorn and Coke than you would pay for a lobster, you should do a little theater hopping. My wife, however, insists on one movie per ticket.

So we went to the one movie -- pure fantasy and escapism. I think I needed that.

I've been feeling down lately.

I find myself thinking of my Dad a lot -- he died in July.

I haven't slept well in days. The only souvinier I brought back from Haiti were nightmares. In reality I held a tiny baby in my arms as it died. In my dreams, I have been holding that baby every night since coming home. Sometimes I look down at the baby and realize it is my child who died.

I didn't like Wilma.

The house is dark on the second floor because the hurricane shutters are still in place.

I've decided my youngest son can forget college -- I'm buying those motorized hurricane shutters. One push of the button and your home is protected.

I'm more than depressed, I've been grumpy!

Then Sunday came and all seems to be right with the world again.

Or as James Brown would sing, "I feel good."

And it wasn't Zorro that made me feel good.

It was even getting to see Catherine Zeta Jones on the big screen, although that might have had a little to do with it.

It was worship.

Often times those of us who design worship make it out to be all joy and praise. We become Reverend Feel Goods, sort to speak. We succomb to the notion that at the end of the service everyone has to be able to say with a James Brown voice, "I feel good."

That way, they will come back next week.

But Sunday's service had elements of Reformation Sunday and All Saints' Day wrapped into one. (We used to do an All Saints' Day worship, but nobody would come to the often mid-week worship -- so now we fold it into the Sunday service).

There is a time in the service when we invite people to stand and say the name of someone in their family or among their friends who has died in the past year. The Clerk of Session stands first (for non-Presbyterians, he is the secretary of the governing body of the local church). He reads the list of the names of members who died during the past year, and their date of death. Then others take turns in standing and giving a name.

"Adam, my cousin."

"Beth, my long time friend."

"Cindy, my mother."

I should have mentioned my Dad, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that. But as people grew silent I asked once more, "Is there anyone else we want to remember?"

One of the members stood and said, "David, our pastor's father."

And I just wept.

And I hate to cry. It makes my face look horrible, clogs my sinuses and in general makes me feel like an idiot.

I was supposed to lead in a prayer at that point, but thankfully my Associate Pastor stood up to lead us in prayer.

God does not promise joy and a painless life -- I think it is one of the shortcomings of contemporary Christian music and contemporary worship is that they lack agony.

I think the road to real joy takes us through pain and sorrow. We shouldn't be looking for ways to avoid the agonies of life. We should discover how to handle them.

This morning -- I feel good.

Why I Like Halloween Better Than Pastor Appreciation Day

2005-10-29T07:57:00.000-04:00

Late in October, there is a frightening creature that comes moaning and groaning out of the shadows. It is the ultra-conservative Christian who feels obligated to come to my office to insist that we do something to stop all this demonic Halloween business.

"It's destroying the children," one might say to me. "It's so evil with all this emphasis on witches." Perhaps even with a tear in her eye she will add, "I'm just thinking of the children. Can't we just have the children dress up as Bible characters?"

What fun is that?

There are only four possible costumes -- Jewish lady from the Bible, Jewish guy from the Bible, Roman guy from the Bible, and John the Baptist dressed like a nut and eating bugs.

Hmmmm, what could we do with Bible characters for Halloween?

Sisera -- costume includes a nail in the head, with lots of blood running down. (Judges 4:21)

Guard -- holding his ear in his hand, with lots of blood running down his head. (Matthew 26:51)

The daughter of Herodius -- dressed as an erotic dancer, holding a covered platter. Instead of saying "trick or treat" when someone opens the door -- she could lift the lid revealing the head of John the Baptist on the plate, with lots of blood running down from his head. (Mark 6:22-24)

Hamor -- crying in pain, holding his crotch, blood running from it. (Genesis 34:21-29)

Actually, this is getting fun -- but my point is that unlike those conservative Christian ladies who think only of the good of the children, I'm thinking of enjoying another viewing of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, dressing up like Hannible Lecter and giving out some candy at the door. Best of all, I'm looking forward to all the left over candy :)

Halloween is the best part of October and damned those dastardly damsels who would spoil my fun.

On the other hand, the worst part of October is something called Pastor Appreciation Month. It is described online as "a special time that congregations set aside each year to honor their pastors and pastoral families for the hard work, sacrificial dedication and yada yada yada..."

My experience with Pastor Appreciation Month is that it is a lot like getting through Father's Day without the kids giving you so much as a tie. It's a birthday that goes by unnoticed. Or an anniversary that forces you to say "I love this gift," when in your heart you're thinking, "what the hell is this?"

I meet few pastors who have ever had a good experience with it. Usually it is an after thought of someone in the church, nothing more.

One buddy had the church members come up and pin money and checks to his robe! No loose change there :) Great idea, but he says afterwards his robe was full of little holes.

Fellow blogger "Down Right Jenny" gave her pastor brocolli. Brocolli?

Another buddy served a church that put together a photo album of his ministry. I like that one. A lot!

I think the best story I ever heard was from a preacher buddy who used to serve a church not far from where I serve. He and his Associate were given pedicures and massages at a nearby spa. But he also said he thought it was the work of a small number of church members -- and Pastor Appreciation Month really should involve everyone in the congregation. Those same two pastors also received a cruise to the Bahamas for their annual retreat one year, but again he says it was made possible by an anonymous gift of a single individual.

If individuals are going to do things -- fine, but someone on the Personnel Committee, Pastor Parish Relations Committee, Session or Vestry should remind people that it is Pastor Appreciation Month. This should be a community gesture.

I got one card this year -- it came from a lady who runs the local Hallmark store.

I made a list of Halloween Costumes, here's my list of things to do for Pastor Appreciation Month... If you read this on the day I post this, you've got ONE SUNDAY left to take action. Some of these suggestions take a while to organize, so start planning now for next year.

1. Organize a Thank You book. We often do this when people retire or resign to go somewhere else. Why wait? Get everyone in the church to write a letter, telling the pastor how much he or she has been appreciated. Encourage personal stories to be included. Have the letters sent to an Elder or chair of a committee -- put them in a book and present the book to the pastor on Sunday.

2. Gift certificate -- NO, not at the local Christian Book store. The church already provides expense accounts for that. Make it enough to Men's Wearhouse or something and make it enough to buy a new suit -- especially if you expect the pastor to wear a stuffy old suit all the time. Other possible gift certificates? I like my buddy's experience with the massage and pedicure. I'd love for someone to give me a nice toe nail clipping. On the other hand, Red Lobster or the Olive Garden are also nice.

3. Weekend Vacation -- and I'm not suggesting a cruise like that buddy had. Someone in the church has a house on the beach or a cabin in the mountains just a short drive from the church. Give it up for a weekend. AND -- and this is very important -- give the pastor a free, additional Sunday off for that weekend. He or she may have all sorts of other plans for the rest of the year's vacation. Provide a couple of gift certificates to restaurants in that area.

Those are big things -- other things could be a picnic in the pastor's honor, or a congregational meal. Perhaps a presentation of a small gift during the worship service.

The best suggestions I've seen so far can be found at "My Heart Waits" in that blogger's October 12th posting.

I may sound like I'm a bit hurt by being ignored on Pastor Appreciation Month -- I'm not. I've grown used to nothing happening except a single card or an occasional loaf of homemade bread.

But I've been working with one of the churches in the Presbytery that is in conflict (see my post from a few days ago on the Wolves -- They Sit In Pews And Get Elected To The Session). I think it is important to the health of the congregation to participate in Pastor Appreciation Month.

My Prayer List -- Or Prayer Narrative

2005-10-27T00:24:00.000-04:00

I have a prayer on my PDA, which I use a couple of times each day -- around lunch I go to the Sanctuary and pray in solitude; and at night as I walk in my neighborhood.

It takes about 15 minutes to say this prayer, but it may also take over an hour to engage the prayer, as each phrase can often lead me into further prayer. I have actual names in my prayer -- and often find myself praying over these names for quite a long time as I move through this prayer. I've removed the names here.

It is a weaving together of ancient, modern, and personally written prayers.

There is no "amen" at the end. Amen is to be said in public worship, as a way of saying, "I agree." Unfortunately, it has become a way of saying, "Goodbye" to God and shutting Him out of our minds, preventing us from learning to "pray without ceasing" as Scripture teaches us to do.

For what it is worth, I share it with you...

FOCUSING PRAYERS

O Almighty God,
who pours out on all who desire it
the spirit of grace and of supplication:
Deliver me, when I draw near to you
from coldness of heart and wanderings of mind,
that with steadfast thoughts and kindled affections I may
worship you in spirit and in truth.

O God the Father, creator of heaven and earth,
Have mercy on me.
O God the Son, redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on me.
O God the Holy Spirit, advocate and guide,
Have mercy on me.
Holy, blessed, and glorious Trinity,
three persons and one God,
Have mercy on me.

PRAYER OF CONFESSION

Most merciful God,
I confess that I have sinned against you
in thought,
word,
and deed,
by what I have done,
and by what I have left undone.
I have not loved you with my whole heart;
I have not loved my neighbors as myself.
I am truly sorry and I humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ
have mercy on me and forgive me;
that I may delight in your will,
and walk in your ways.

PRAYERS FOR DELIVERANCE
From all spiritual blindness;
from pride, vainglory, and hypocrisy;
from envy, hatred, and malice;
and from all want of charity,
Good Lord, deliver me.

From all deadly sin;
and from the deceits of the world,
the flesh, and the devil,
Good Lord, deliver me.

From all false doctrine, heresy, and schism;
from hardness of heart,
and contempt for your Word and commandments,
Good Lord, deliver me.

From earthquake and storm;
from drought, fire, and flood;
from strong wind, tornado and hurricane;
from epidemic, pestilence, and famine;
from civil strife and violence;
from terrorism and crime;
from war and murder;
and from dying suddenly and unprepared,
Good Lord, deliver me.

In my times of trouble;
in my times of prosperity;
in the hour of death,
and on the day of judgment,
Good Lord, deliver me.

PRAYERS OF INTERCESSION
Receive my prayers, O Lord my God.
Hear me, good Lord.

FOR THE CHURCH
Govern and direct your holy church;
fill it with love and truth;
and grant it that unity which is your will.
Be especially with my congregation
that it may enjoy peace, unity and purity.
Heal our elders from their recent strife.
Bless our staff, especially ....
Guide our Sunday School teachers, musicians and all who work to lead your people in our church.
Bless the current work being done on our stewardship drive and our budget process.
Guide the Nomination process for new elders.
Be with the Sunrise Church and the Hollywood Church
that they may secure new pastors.
Be with the First Church of Miami
in their time of discernment.
Be with the Westminster Church,
in their time of grief.
Be with those churches of our area damaged by Hurricane Wilma
that they may continue your good work.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Enlighten all ministers, elders and deacons
with true knowledge and understanding of your Word,
that by their preaching and living
they may declare it clearly
and show its truth.
Be especially with ...
Raise up new ministers for our churches.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Encourage and prosper your servants
who spread the gospel in all the world,
and send out laborers into the harvest.
Be with Harry in Guatemala,
Marilyn and Dave in Peru,
Alan in India,
Bill in Kenya…
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

FOR OUR NATION
Rule the hearts of your servants,
the President of the United States, and all others in authority,
that they may do justice, and love mercy,
and walk in the ways of truth.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Bless and defend all who strive for our safety and protection,
and shield them in all dangers and adversities.
Be especially with ...
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Grant wisdom and insight to those who govern me,
and to judges and magistrates the grace to execute justice with mercy.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

FOR ALL PEOPLE
To all nations grant unity, peace, and concord,
Bringing an end to all wars in this troubled world,
and to all people give freedom, dignity, food, and shelter.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

That you would make wars to cease in all the world;
give to all nations unity, peace, and concord;
and grant freedom, dignity, food, shelter, health care and education to all people.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

That we may have strength and skill to conserve the resources of the earth,
and wisdom to use them well.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Enlighten with your Spirit all who teach
and all who learn.
Bless especially my wife in her classes, and all who teach with her.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Come to the help of all who are in danger, necessity, and trouble;
protect all who travel by land, sea, air or space.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Strengthen and preserve all women who are in childbirth,
and all young children,
and comfort the aged, the bereaved, and the lonely.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Defend and provide for the widowed and the orphaned,
the refugees and the homeless,
the unemployed,
and all who are desolate and oppressed.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Heal those who are sick in mind, body or spirit,
and give skill and compassion to all who care for them.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

Teach me to love and forgive my enemies,
those who persecute me,
those who slander me,
those who take advantage of me,
and those I are struggling to love as you would have us to love.
Watch over especially ....
and all others who wish ill of me.
Hear my prayer, good Lord.

PRAYERS FOR MY FAMILY
Eternal God,
look with favor upon my wife and our marriage,
Give us wisdom and devotion
in our common life,
that we may be to each other
a strength in need,
a counselor in perplexity,
a comfort in sorrow,
and a companion in joy.
Grant that our wills
may be so knit together in your will,
and our spirits in your Spirit,
that we may grow in love and peace
with you and with each other
all the days of our lives.
Give us the grace,
when we hurt each other,
to recognize and confess our fault,
and to seek each other's forgiveness
and yours.
Make our life together
a sign of Christ's love
to this sinful and broken world,
that unity may overcome estrangement,
forgiveness heal guilt,
and joy conquer despair.
Give us such fulfillment of our mutual love
that we may reach out in concern for others.

Watch over our two sons, O Lord.
As their days increase, bless and guide them wherever they may be.
Strengthen them when they stand;
comfort them when discouraged or sorrowful;
raise them up if they falls;
and in their hearts may your peace which passes understanding
abide all the days of their lives;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

TRANSITION PRAYER
Lord, have mercy on me.
Christ, have mercy on me.
Lord, have mercy on me.

A THANKSGIVING
I give thanks to you, for your love is everlasting

Thank you, God, for the good world;
for things great and small, beautiful and awesome;
for seen and unseen splendors;
for the sun in the day, and the moon and stars at night;
for clear skies and cloudy days;
for butterflies, birds, and all creatures you have made;
for the universe filled with beauty.

Thank you, God, for human life;
for talking and moving and thinking together;
for common hopes and hardships shared from birth until our dying;

Thank you, God, for work to do and strength to work;
for the comradeship of labor;
for exchanges of good humor and encouragement;

Thank you, God, for marriage;
for the mystery and joy of flesh made one;
for mutual forgiveness and burdens shared;
for secrets kept in love.

Thank you, God, for family;
for living together and eating together;
for family amusements and family pleasures;

Thank you, God, for children;
for their energy and curiosity;
for their brave play and startling frankness;
for their sudden sympathies;

Thank you, God, for the young;
for their high hopes;
for their irreverence toward worn-out values;
for their search for freedom;
for their solemn vows;

Thank you, God, for growing up and growing old;
for wisdom deepened by experience;
for rest in leisure;
and for time made precious by its passing;

Thank you, God, for your help in times of doubt and sorrow;
for healing our diseases;
for preserving us in temptation and danger;

Thank you, God, for the church into which I have been called;
for the good news I receive and proclaim by Word and Sacrament;
for our life together in the Lord;

We praise you, God, for your Holy Spirit,
who guides our steps and brings us gifts of faith and love;
who prays in us and prompts our grateful worship;

We praise you, God, above all for your Son Jesus Christ,
who lived and died and lives again for our salvation;
for our hope in him;
and for the joy of serving him;

We thank and praise you, Eternal God,
for all your goodness to me and my family.

CONCLUDING PRAYER

O Lord, support me all the day long
until the shadows lengthen
and the evening comes
and the busy world is hushed,
and the fever of life is over,
and my work is done.
Then, in your mercy,
grant me a safe lodging,
and a holy rest,
and peace at the last;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Wilma Update

2005-10-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

Wilma was a rough one! But we are safe.

I lost tiles on the roof but not many.

My car windshield will have to be replaced. Seems like I could have found room for two cars to fit in my two car garage, but ....

I'm still researching and reading about Clergy Killers. It gave me something to do while listening to Wilma's wind and rain.

I don't have one in my church, but in my work on the Committee on Ministry, I'm dealing with several other churches and there is definitely a Clergy Killer in one of them.

I'd be interested in hearing additional insights from other pastors, DCEs, musicians and Youth Directors.

Beware the Wolves -- they sit in pews and get elected to Session!

2005-10-23T19:44:00.000-04:00

"Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they know they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit."
Hebrews 13:17

"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16-17

No one told me this in seminary – or if they did I didn’t listen.

There are wolves in the church waiting to devour pastors, youth directors and music ministers.

I should have known! After all I’d read the Bible and Jesus clearly warned me about these people when he said “If people hated me, guess what, they’ll hate you too. And if they killed me, be ready, they’ll kill you too.”

Conflict will always exist in work places, families, neighborhoods and even churches. But I’m not talking about healthy conflicts here. I’m talking about problems caused by pathological antagonists – what several Christian writers have termed “Clergy Killers.”

Guy Greenfield writes that clergy killers are not a way to “label the person who happens to disagree with a minister.” No, “this term identifies persons who have a very mean-spirited disposition toward ministers and intentionally target ministers for termination.”

No -- can't be! There can't be mean spirited people in the church.

Think again.

This is a hard truth but you can believe it. Some of the people that you will deal with in ministry will do everything in their power to bring the minister down. Not the ministry. The Minister.

These people are affectionately called clergy killers.

These antagonists in the church will get rid of one minister, then the next, then the next, until there are no members left in the church! They will kill the church slowly by quickly killing one ministry after another.

According to Guy Greenfield’s The Wounded Minister there are six characteristics that all clergy killers have. These traits are anti-Christ. Jesus would not employ these tactics yet sometimes his followers do.

1. The arguments of a pathological antagonist are usually founded on little or terribly misrepresented evidence. The misrepresented evidence comes on all shapes and sizes. Quarreling over irrelevant points, exaggerating one’s position (usually followed with statements like, “People are talking about…” “They feel like your headed in the wrong direction” “Everyone wants to change our worship style”), and making accusations that cannot be proven or refuted. Greenfield even goes on to say that he “would add another fallacy- outright lying or falsification. An antagonist will take certain facts and so twist then that they are blatently false when presented.” Usually though the antangonist will use a combination of all of these tactics. I’ve seen them and you’ve seen them.

The bottom line is that clergy abusers will lie, cheat, and steal to remain in power, intimidate, or exercise control over their ministers.

2. The pathological antagonist will initiate trouble. They will write letters, often leaving them as anonymous notes. They will become human phone trees. They drop hints that the pastor or someone on the church staff offended them. They will stir up trouble, and as soon as everyone thinks things are calming down, another letter appears, or another phone call is made to the Pastor-Parish Committee or the Personnel Committee.

3. The pathological antagonist is never satisfied. Clergy killers will never be satisfied ever. Greenfield writes, “No amount of accommodation on the minister’s part will ever suffice.” Often the antagonist will lay down the ultimatum, “It’s my family or the minister.” Or “If we don’t change the worship style, I’m leaving and so will many other families.” Or “If we don’t fire the youth director and get someone with more experience, I’m out of here.” The minister is shown the door. This cycle of abuse continues because the church body routinely follows Chamberlain’s example of appeasement. Chamberlain was the Prime Minister of England who refused to stand up against Hitler. He thought the best way to deal with the Nazis was to sign the Munich Pact with the Axis Powers. He chose appeasement. This decision to appease the Nazis empowered them. Greenfield puts it this way, When the good, prayerful, dedicated, loving lay leaders are afraid of conflict in the church and have no stomach for challenging those who are using secular political methods to run the church, they will choose a philosophy of appeasement rather that reasonable confrontation. Evil will then take advantage of what appears to be an open door to take over and control the church.

Church leaders need to become Churchills, not Chamberlains. Stand up to those who cannot be appeased and tell them, “No.”

4. The pathological antagonist will lead a campaign of attack on the minister. This antagonist’s goal is often to control the church. He or she may have position and money but what is desired is power. Those who are powerless in their own lives can often satisfy this longing in the church. Their job is in danger, or they have been recently unemployed. Their marriage is in a fragile state. Their children have rebelled, or simply graduated and left home. The person finds he or she has no power over other things in life, so this desire for power focuses as an attack on the leadership of the church staff.

5. The attacking behavior of the pathological antagonist is selfish in nature but is wrapped in a shroud of altruism. Greenfield says that pathological antagonists will often “seize on some spiritual goal or objective, such as the good of the church and its work in the community, and pretend that this is what he is fighting for. The person is rarely interested in authentic spiritual goals. If one rationale no longer works to his advantage, he will devise another. His stated reasons for opposition are a ruse for his own hidden agenda. That he really wants is power, control, status, and authority.”

6. The attacks are for destruction rather than construction. When men and women choose destruction over construction no side wins. The church staff member is often crushed under the weight of angry letters, malicious gossip, and loneliness. The collateral damage includes the minister’s family, the congregation and sometime the community.

WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT PATHOLOGICAL ANTAGONISTS IN CHURCH?

1. Learn to defend your pastor and church staff from unwarranted and vicious attacks by church leaders (either official or unofficial leaders). Methodist minister Raymond Rooney says, “It would go a long way towards deterring those who would derail a godly minister and church if people would learn to speak up and defend their church’s staff leadership in the presence of those who seek to undermine and tear it down. Do not expect godly leadership if you are not going to stand up for it.”

Aim for identifying, electing and empowering as leaders only those who have a servant’s heart and mentality. Be careful of those who seek leadership positions to become “agents of change,” or to fix what they perceive to be problems in the church. Beware of hidden agendas.

2. Find ways to demonstrate the church’s appreciation for its staff. Make these demonstrations of appreciation visible and vocal. “Clergy killers” will think twice about undermining the pastor’s work or integrity if they see a lot of visible support for him or her. The same is true with youth directors, musicians, etc. Why? Rooney says such public demonstrations work because pathological antagonists are cowards at heart. That is why they hold secret meetings and spread lies behind the scenes. Nothing speaks louder to them than a well planned Pastor and Church Staff Appreciation Sunday (usually held on the second Sunday of October, although all of October is often considered Pastor and Church Staff Appreciation Month). Hebrews 13:7 says “Appreciate your pastoral leaders who gave you the Word of God. Take a good look at the way they live, and let their faithfulness instruct you, as well as their truthfulness.” (The Message)

3. The church should recognize that dealing with the antagonist in the church is the responsibility for all church leaders and members. It is not just the concern of the pastor. Rediger, in his book, Clergy Killers, says that as long as congregations see the problems generated by disordered persons as the pastor’s concern, the clergy will continue to be victimized. Congregations are often too willing to blame the clergy. The end result is the loss of one pastor in an intense conflict, the arrival of the next pastor who will also soon leave the parish in an intense conflict. Membership declines and church leaders wonder why they are unable to secure stable pastoral leadership.

4. Recognize that antagonism is caused by evil and sinful human nature. Stephen Haugk suggests this (and the following remaining steps) in his book, The Antagonist in the Church. We are taught in Ephesians 6:12 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (NIV) Romans 7:18 says, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (NIV)

5. Face up to the antagonist. Confront the person. Titus 3:10-11 “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” (NIV) Jesus says in Matthew 18:15-17 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

6. Recognize that most antagonists will not change. It is unfortunate, but true. In those cases, ignore them, have little to do with them, and forgive them. Paul says in II Timothy 2:16-17, “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. Their teaching will spread like gangrene.” In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asked Jesus about forgiveness and the antagonist: "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (NIV)

For further study

Frontline Fellowship's "Dealing with Pathological Antagonists" found at http://www.frontline.org.za/articles/pathological_antagonists.htm

Raymond Rooney's article, "For Clergy Under Attack" http://www.raymondrooney.com/raymond_rooney/2005/07/for_clergy_unde.html

Clergy Killers: Guidance for Pastors and Congregations Under Attack (Paperback) by G. Lloyd Rediger

The Wounded Minister: Healing from and Preventing Personal Attacks (Paperback)by Guy, Ph.D. Greenfield

Antagonists in the Church: How to Identify and Deal With Destructive Conflict (Paperback)by Kenneth C. Haugk

Preparations

2005-10-23T14:52:00.000-04:00

We had worship today. Prayers were lifted up -- "Good Lord, deliver us."

We've been fairly fortunate with hurricanes this year, but we keep having to prepare for one and then another. We are tired of this.

I have hurricane panals. You put them up one at a time, securing them in place with screws built into the house.

Someday when I have lots of money and nothing to do with it, I'm buying the shutters that roll out. Push a button, and the shutters roll out and lock into place.

On one of the panels, I have kept a list of the hurricanes for which they have been put into place. The list is getting too long.

Back on line!

2005-10-21T19:52:00.000-04:00

I held a baby a few days ago.

It was only a few hours old.

Tiny!

And weak.

And suffering.

He died in my arms.

I've been in Haiti for the past several days. It is a sad place. It is a poor place. I've seen deeper poverty in India and Africa, but in Haiti the poverty is not only deep -- it is universal.

I've been at a hospital that is dark and hot and stuffy. In the pharmacy there are bare shelves, with a few bottles of water and fewer bottles of medicine. On the floor of the operating room where the child was delivered were muddy footprints left by the Haitian nursers.

For those of you wondering where I have been, a group from our church went to Haiti and at the last minute someone dropped out - so I dropped in.

There are 5 of us. We used our carry-on luggage for our personal needs and filled the check-in luggage to capacity with medicines. Three of the others are doctors and there is one nurse. I have no medical training but in Haiti that does not matter. Put me in scrubs and let me hang a stethoscope around my neck and everyone things I'm a doctor. Well, I can do the temperature, respiration, blood pressure, etc. I just did whatever the doc's told me to do.

We flew into Port au Prince and then took a flight to Cap Haitian. We often take a bus to Leogane in the south, but the area around the Port au Prince airport is too violent. These are not good times for Haiti.

We have been in several little communities throughout the northern part of the island. We've visited people who have never seen a doctor, providing what medical care we were able to give. Most of what we did, however, was to re-visit some villages -- we have been trying to set up a rotation system with other churches and medical teams in an effort to provide ongoing care to a handful of communities.

We usually are able to get a little time on the Internet, but not this time.

We are back home in Miami.

We'll go back in December. I won't be with the team but there will be doctors, nurses, and others who go. They will do a lot of great work.

But Haiti will still be poor.

And there will be other babies who will die in someone's arms.

Attention! Attention! Prepare for Security Search!

2005-10-02T23:07:00.000-04:00

We need a vacation! I've got a few days after Christmas off, and my sons have decided we need to go to Atlanta to see a football game. They are die hard Falcons fans. Oh, how I have failed them :)

Problem number one -- football games are getting too expensive.

Problem number two -- why see a football game inside a dome when you can enjoy a December or January game in 80 degree Miami weather?

Problem number three -- I heard from a colleague in Greater Atlanta Presbytery that the Georgia Dome now requires everyone to be patted down by security. They suggest arriving at least 2 hours before the game. Hey, you can't tell me this is terrorist related! They just want to sell me more $10 hot dogs and $50 team shirts while I hang around waiting for the game to begin.

Well, we live in a security conscious world, so I've decided everyone leaving comments on my blog have to be patted down. From now on, you have to do the word confirmation thing to leave a comment. I didn't mind the comment spam telling me I had a great blog and "by the way, check out my website about the latest stock picks."

It bothered me a bit when I began to read comments concerned about my sexual fitness. Attention world -- It's not that I don't appreciate your concern, but you need to understand that I will not buy any Viagra until wife suggests it might be a good idea.

But today there were two porn sites leaving links in the comments. What would RG say? (By the way RG, I miss you! Your comments energize me).

Please leave comments -- but prepare to be patted down with word verification :) I would really like to hear from those 62 different nations that seem to be represented among my visitors! Why is someone from South Korea reading this? Or Vietnam? Or Peru? Comment please, even though you have to pass through my new security.

So, where should we really go on vacation? I'm thinking Non-NFL cities!

Remembering the Magic of My Toys - and an ordination vow

2005-10-01T20:55:00.000-04:00

I was reading a blog -- sorry I can't remember which on -- and the writer was talking about giving her nephew a bath.

I'm not sure about the age, but obviously the nephew is a toddler. She wrote, "I wish I had known the last time I was going to play as a child in the bathtub with my ship and the little people. I used to have such a good time!! I wish I knew the last time I was going to play in the sandbox my dad made for me too. I used to LOVE playing in there. It was red, and had a cover, and was under a tree to give us some shade. I wish I knew the last time I was going to ride my childhood bike with the banana seat, and the girlie basket with flowers. Just one day..poof..you are too big."

I remember the day my toy soldiers turned to plastic.

They used to have a magic about them.

They weren't movable. You couldn't dress them in different clothing. G.I.Joe's came out while I was a child, but most of the toys were simple. They were small plastic figures of men.

They came in several races. Not white or black, but green -- or whatever color their uniform came in.

Americans were green.

Japanese were beige.

Germans were light green, I think.

Russians were blue.

They were all World War II soldiers, which was great because in my generation everyone's Dad fought or did something in World War II. They were the living heroes of my youth and I always loved hearing their stories.

I would line up the soldiers and prepare them for battle. A crumpled piece of paper -- perhaps some old homework -- became a giant bolder. A baseball cap became a mountain. If I played outside, blades of grass were trees.

There were men who looked through binoculars, all sharing the exact same pose.

There were bazooka men, all kneeling in the exact same fashion.

There were men on the ground, aiming a rifle, in the exact same manner.

But they were somehow different. Each had a personality. Each represented somebody who was alive and struggling to keep the world safe.

It would take time to set up the battlefield, then the guns would fire.

Bullets could only travel on my finger tips.

A man would fire when I touched the end of his rifle, and in slow motion, my finger would move across the battlefield to find a victim, who would fall. Although he'd been lifeless before, he somehow became truly lifeless now.

The Americans would always win.

I packed my toy soldiers away when we moved to Georgia. I was in the 7th grade and that was the year I discovered an alternate universe called reality. David and I bought our fist Playboy magazine, and I've been in love with Dee Dee Lind ever since. He and I decided it was time for us to start dating, and since we didn't want to date each other, we double dated taking Mary and Kay to the movies to see "To Sir, With Love." I tried my first cigarette. I drank a few sips of Vodka.

Somehow in that move to Georgia, childhood was never unpacked.

I found my toy soldiers when we moved to North Carolina a year later. I took them out and set them up in a great, final battle.

When my father walked in, he knew he'd embarrassed me. He assured me that it was all right for an 8th grader to play with toys and quickly left me alone with my toys.

But it was too late.

The magic was gone.

They weren't men. They were pieces of plastic, nothing more.

There is a part of me that clings to the child I once was. I've admitted in a previous post to occasionally -- when I'm alone -- of swinging my arms when turning a corner of the house. In my mind I have momentarily become Superman taking a turn around the Empire State Building.

I need that child in order to carry out my ordination vows -- part of which asks that I serve with energy, intelligence, imagination and love. It is the child in my that nurtures my imagination.

So What -- er, So WATCH, you don't know when the Son of Man Comes

2005-09-22T21:08:00.000-04:00

I was teaching a Sunday School class during seminary. It was one of the requirements for the Master of Divinity -- a class in Christian Education that included hands on work as a teacher.

We had to write our own curriculum and one day I had the children memorize a Bible verse: Matthew 24:44: "So watch, you don't know when the Son of Man comes."

The kids memorized perfectly.

Almost.

One kid memorized, "So what, you don't know when the Son of Man comes."

Jesus tells us to WATCH and be prepared for His return, but we also need to always be alert for ANYTHING. There are always unexpected dangers, opportunities and challenges in our lives.

I saw the new television show INVASION last night. Good fiction. Enjoyable. But watching the people get ready for the hurricane was a joke. Nobody prepares for a hurricane when the wind is blowing or the rain is falling. Do TV producers really think that is the way it is?

No.

You prepare for the hurricane in the most beautiful weather you can imagine.

The sky is a deep blue.

The wind is calm.

And only space technology reveals the danger that is coming.

After Katrina people asked, "Why didn't the people evacuate?"

Watching the people evacuate from Rita, I fear that people will soon understand why you don't always evacuate. Try moving millions on an interstate system. What you need are Star Trek transporters.

I worry that people will be stranded in the path of the storm.

I worry about the people running out of gas and panicking.

I worry about those who think they have selected a good route, only to see the storm change directions and head for them.

The hours ahead are times for prayers.

Talk Like A Pirate Day comes to church

2005-09-19T16:43:00.000-04:00

(Note: I shared this with a buddy in Georgia, and he passed it onto his church -- his son called the church office from Florida and was disappointed the staff didn't take my buddy seriously -- probably a good thing for my buddy!)

Memo to all church staff:

While yet another hurricane is a bearing down on those of us in South Florida, we still celebrated today's holiday -- September 19th, is TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY -- for proof click ">here..

If you need help with your vocabulary, try these.

Aye aye! - A good response to any question asked of the Senior Pastor, especially on a Monday.

Arrr! - This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. "Arrr!" can mean, variously, "yes," "I agree," "I'm happy," "I'm enjoying this beer," "My team is going to win it all," "I saw that movie and it was no good at all." and "That was a clever remark you or I just made." And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!

Avast -- Stop! As in "When is that preacher going to avast this sermonizing?"

Beauty -- The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by "me" as in "C'mere, me beauty." However, please be advised that Presbytery's rules and our congregation's sexual misconduct policies recommend that one uses this term only with one's spouse.

Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. Please do not refer to anyone in the church as a bilge rat -- however, when hearing noises in the ceiling tiles above the youth lounge, you may rest assured that those probably are bilge rats. Feel free to say, "Arrrr, it's them bilge rats again."

Booty -- treasure, AKA the offering.

Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but as our church staff celebrates Talk Like A Pirate Day, please limit your use of this term during office hours as a reference to the soft drink machine, as in, "Arrr, I think I'll fetch me some diet, caffine free grog from the grog machine."

Lubber – (or land lubber) This is the seaman’s version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for such people. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land. On Talk Like A Pirate Day, feel free to refer to Southern Baptists as Land Lubbers.

Me Hearty -- Friend. Today all staff members will address one another by this term. As in "Ahoy me hearty! Can I fetch you some diet grog?"

Shiver me timbers -- A pastoral response, which replaces phrases like, "You feel confused by this?"

Swashbuckling -- adventurous. If anyone asks, we had a swashbuckling time in the budget committee meeting yesterday.

Walk the plank -- What Presbyteries do to ministers who git caught drinkin' too much grog with a group of Land Lubbers.

Yo ho! - If you sense a time of silence, please feel free to yell this out.

A Short Video on Presbyterians -- What a Riot!

2005-09-18T20:36:00.000-04:00

Do you have bad taste?

Then you may be like me and will enjoy this wonderful video about the Presbyterian Church.

It's very short, but it's a riot!

I've had a very busy time of it this week. Not the stressful, everything is falling apart, sort of busy week -- but the wow, everthing is coming together so well and so fast sort of busy week.

At any rate, it's been so busy I needed this comic relief.

There is nothing obscene here, but if you don't like laughing at Presbyterians, you won't enjoy the video. If you do enjoy laughing at us, you'll love it!

Click here!

Katrina and the Presbyterian Congregations in Mississippi, South Louisiana and South Alabama

2005-09-11T21:42:00.000-04:00

What has happened to the Presbyterian congregations in the areas hit by Katrina?

I have wanted to see a listing of the churches, along with the type of damage suffered. Not finding one, I made one, using several different sources -- I thought I'd share this with you.

Here's what I know... (send me updates if you have them)

PRESBYTERY OF SOUTH ALABAMA:
From the Synod of the Sun: South Alabama Presbytery fared better than its Mississippi counterpart, suffering little damage, according to the Rev. Samford Turner, executive presbyter."There's no damage to any of our churches," Turner said. "There's a few shingles missing on some of our coastal churches, but nothing to speak of, as far as damage."Turner acknowledged that some individual Presbyterians had personal property damaged or destroyed."

Government Street Presbyterian Church

300 Government St.,

Mobile AL 36602

251/432-1749

Web page: www.gspcmobile.org (Source: Church's web page)

From their web page: "Government Street Presbyterian Church’s 175 year old landmark building, located in the center city of Mobile, less than one-quarter mile from the water’s edge came thru unscathed. Every member’s household was affected. All lost electricity, most had downed trees with scattered property damage, while some along Dog River and the Bay had extensive damages due to flooding. Among members, there were no injuries or loss of life."

PRESBYTERY OF SOUTH LOUISIANA

Canal Street Presbyterian Church
4302 Canal St
New Orleans, LA 70119
From their web page: "Our building still stands on Canal St., our people still stand united in cities like Houston, Dallas, Jackson and Birmingham. We are a church without walls, and you are welcome to come journey with us. To God be glory both now and forever! Amen!"

Chinese Presbyterian Church

2901 W Esplanade Ave

Kenner, LA 70065

The church building remains. There is some roof damage. The church's web page, http://www.cpcnola.org/, has some photos. The web page also had a membership roll and where they can be reached. The members are spread all over the nation.

From the Synod of the Sun web page: Fellowship hall badly damaged. Sanctuary fared better.

First Presbyterian Church - Baton Rouge

763 North Blvd

Baton Rouge, LA 70821

Apparently there is no damage to this church, and worship continues. The church is very active in hurricane relief efforts -- see the web page for more details: http://www.fpcbr.org/

First Presbyterian Church - Lake Charles

1801 2nd Ave

Lake Charles, LA 70601

Their web page had a copy of the bulletin for worship on September 11th, so the church must be OK.

First Presbyterian Church - New Orleans

5401 S Claiborne Ave

New Orleans, LA 70125

Their web page says, "The church has been flooded by hurricane Katrina and the members are in exile. Contact Cliff Nunn at cwnunn@gmail or call 972/838-2556 to talk to him. Email us if you want to help clean up after the storm. You may also contact him about CDP matters. Pray for us as we seek to continue to do Gods ministry while in exile."

John Knox Presbyterian Church

4201 Transcontinental Dr

Metairie, LA 70006

From their web page: "Temporary Numbers to communicate with Pastor Harry who is in Houston, Texas and to relay information to JCPC friends are: 832-474-0240 and 281-492-0961 For confidential communication you may send email messages to: hbrownjcpc@hotmail.com. September 10, 2005 -- Good News! The church now has electricity and phone service. There is no water service yet. Once water service is restored we will make every effort to get the JCPC campus up and running. Please let us know if you are able to help in the clean-up process and when you may be available. For example: as soon as we are allowed back in or another time. Whatever time you can give, would be appreciated. Respond to this email address to let us know when you can help: laurellb@cox.net"

From the Synod of the Sun: Sunday morning September 4th, less than a week after the fallout from Hurricane Katrina claimed their property - John Calvin Presbyterian Church of Metairie, LA, will worship in another church in another city. About 100 members of the 300-member congregation relocated in Baton Rouge. They found their pastor and their pastor (Harry Brown) found them. So, instead of attending another church's service, they will have their own service and their pastor will continue his work."

Lakeview Presbyterian Church

5914 Canal Blvd

New Orleans, LA 70124

From their web page: "On Monday, August 29, Hurricane Katrina came through New Orleans and changed our lives forever. We pray for the safety and healing of our community. Over the next few weeks and months we will use our website as a means to communicate with others news of our members. We thank those who have called and emailed us offering prayers and assistance and will be in touch when we know the extent of our need. Our need will be great but our faith in God and the love of our brothers and sisters around the world will see us through. God bless you all and may the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you each day."

From their Senior Pastor's web page: "Though these are unprecedented times for us, not so with God, for the times are in his hands. I am convinced that the faith I have seen so visibly expressed at LPC during the course of my ministry will sustain us all until we are privileged to gather once again. Linda and I will be in Milwaukee with my sister and brother-in-law until we are given permission to return. I encourage anyone who may wish to speak with me to call my cell (504)390-6035 or residence (262)691-8935. Know that you are all in my prayers. Please, friends, do call. I would like to hear from you. Neale L. Miller "

Parkway Presbyterian Church

6200 Camphor St

Metairie, LA 70003

Nothing on the web, but I heard from a friend in Atlanta that one of Parkway's members is an evacuee now living in a small town north of Atlanta. The word from him is that the church is closed.

Saint Charles Avenue Presbyterian Church

1545 State Street

New Orleans, Louisiana

Their web page indicates they are trying to locate all church members. The pastor also says on that page, "Presently we are doing our work out of the offices of Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church (MDPC) in Houston, Texas."

PRESBYTERY OF MISSISSIPPI

Diamondhead Presbyterian Church

5301 Diamondhead Circle

Diamondhead, MS 39525

Major structural damage, electricity on (Source: Synod of the Living Waters)

First Presbyterian Church -- Bay Saint Louis

114 Ulman Ave

Bay Saint Louis, MS 39520

Destroyed, along with the pastor's home.

First Presbyterian Church -- Pascagoula
1819 Pascagoula St
Pascagoula, MS 39567
228-762-2824
228-762-0296 FAX
http://www.frstpres.org fpc@frstpres.org
4 feet of water in all of their buildings (source - Presbytery of South Alabama)
flooded, roof damage, structurally OK (source - Synod of Living Waters)

First Presbyterian Church - Ocean Springs

921 Ocean Ave

Ocean Springs, MS 39564

228-875-5326

228-872-0401 FAX

fpcos@datasync.com
Amazingly OK - but the rubble of everything from their building south to the water is piled up in their yard - manse flooded (source - Presbytery of South Alabama)

Manse flooded, some damage to sanctuary, major damage to fellowship hall, everything between church and coast is gone (source - Synod of Living Waters)

Gautier Presbyterian Church

PO Box 340
Gautier, MS 39553
228-497-1706
http://www.gautierpresbyterian.home.att.net
gautierpresbyterian@cableone.net
4 feet of water in all of their buildings (source -- Presbytery of South Alabama)
six feet of water in church; no flood insurance, pastor's home OK (source - Synod of Living Waters)

Handsboro

steeple gone, damage to members' homes (source - Synod of Living Waters)

Long Beach

some destruction, flooding, church still standing (source - Synod of Living Waters)

Orange Grove

16148 Robinson Rd

Gulfport, MS 39503

http://www.ogpcusa.org/

some damage, no flood insurance (source - Synod of Living Waters)

Pineview Presbyterian Church

Hattiesburg, MS

No major building damage (Source: Presbytery of Mississippi Stated Clerk, John Dudley)

Pineville Presbyterian Church

Pass Christian MS

Water damage, trees down, roof damaged.

Westminster Presbyterian Church
5005 Lawson Ave
Gulfport, MS 39507
228-864-3143
228-864-3247 FAX
church OK - again amazing - pastor's home flooded out - probably have to be torn down (source - Presbytery of South Alabama)
No major damage, being used as drop-off point for supplies (source - Synod of Living Waters)

Westminster Presbyterian Church
Hattiesburg, Mississippi
No major building damage (Source: Presbytery of Mississippi's Stated Clerk, John Dudley)

Ahhh-- Sunday. The Sabbath. Day of Rest. What a Crock!

2005-09-11T15:57:00.000-04:00

I find myself in an Oasis.

It's the calm that comes after one storm and right before the next storm.

It's a typical Sunday.

I started with breakfast in the Fellowship Hall. Pancakes and bacon! Maybe not the healthiest meal, but I love every bite.

Then there is the first service and the weekly Sacrament of the Lord's Supper.

Sunday School follows -- and I am in the middle of teaching one of the classes, so I had to rush to the room. As soon as that was over, it's a rush back to the Sanctuary for the 11:00 worship. We had a baptism! I love baptisms.

After the worship, the Associate Pastor and I posed for pictures with the family around the baptismal font.

I had lunch with elders -- Presbytery meeting is coming up on the 27th, and like all Presbyterian Churches, we send the pastors and a certain number of elders based on the size of the congregation. Presbytery covers a geographic area of several counties and meets a handful of times each year. With the elders, I review the agenda for the coming meeting and highlight the parts of the packet that need their closest attention. I also explain for them some of the backgound for different things that will be happening at the meeting. This is probably something I should do via email, but I've been doing it this way for years, and it follows the time-tested motto in our church, "This is the way we've always done it."

After lunch, I ran into the Associate Pastor who was coming in from serving the Sacrament of Communion in the hospitals and nursing homes. He mentioned one fellow who is in serious condition, so I ran to Jackson Hospital to see him.

Now I'm in the office, enjoying the calm.

Not enough time for a nap.

Too much time to start the next thing on the calendar.

So I sit and piddle with this blog.

And while I do, I consider how pastors mistreat the Fourth Commandment. "Remember the Sabbath day." Day of rest?

It's 3:42 now. At 4:00 there is a committee meeting. Perhaps I'll get a nap then.

At 5:00 Confirmation Class begins. I don't attend every session, but I'm scheduled to teach this particular one.

At 6:00 there's Pizza in the Youth Lounge. I'll hang out with them until 7:00, when there is another committee meeting. That's an interesting meeting, and one that will be sure to keep me awake. I often get frustrated with that committee, so when I leave that meeting I'll probably go home and click on www.pcusa.org. Then I'll click "Ministry and Vocations." From there I'll scroll down to Church Leadership Connection and click "Opportunities."

(This is how pastors get therapy).

I'll enter "$100,000" as a minimum salary and see what comes up among vacant churches looking for pastors.

I'll go to sleep and go to the office on Monday. Unlike what I do on Sunday, that will be work :)

So what about the Sabbath?

The Ten Commandments were written in stone -- or was in the beginning -- so it must be important.

So what is the fourth Commandment?

"Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work..."

Right.

Years ago there was a short-lived television series about priests and nuns working in a Roman Catholic parish -- "Nothing Sacred." I loved that series and apparently was the only one in the nation that watched it.

In one scene two priests are in the vestry room. It is between services, and they are busy getting ready for the next one. It's not yet Noon and it has been a full day. The elderly priest puts on his robe and says, "Ah Sunday. The Sabbath. Day of rest. What a crock."

That's the moment I fell in love with that series.

The Westminster Shorter Catechism is one of several Presbyterian statements of faith. In a question and answer format it deals with the Fourth Commandment and asks, "Which day of the seven has God appointed to be the weekly Sabbath?"

The answer: "From the beginning of the world to the resurrection of Christ, God appointed the seventh day of the week to be the weekly Sabbath; and the first day of the week ever since, to continue to the end of the world, which is the Christian Sabbath. (Footnotes point to Acts

Then the Catechism asks my question -- HOW? "How is the Sabbath to be kept holy?"

The answer: "By resting all that day."

It throws in public and private worship in the answer -- but that's no problem.

It's the "resting all that day" that gives me trouble.

I like to work, so it is hard to stop.

I think my work has value, so it is hard to stop.

In my perverted thinking, I feel that work gives my life value, so it is hard to stop.

I take Friday and Saturdays as "days off" but they are not Sabbaths.

A Sabbath is a stillness. "Be still, and know that I am God."

A Sabbath is a quietness. "Let all the earth keep silent before him."

A Sabbath is a rest from work. "You have six days to do all your work, but the seventh is a Sabbath to the Lord."

There are some sins that do not tempt me. I don't struggle with them at all.

I've never killed. Not literally. A little hate in my heart, which Jesus counted as being as good as murder, but give me credit for never appearing on Court TV.

I've never stolen -- well, not since that fountain pen I stole from the drug store in high school. You know teenagers and their dares and double dare ya's.

But Sabbath rest? I've never actually obeyed that one.

Well, it's 3:56. Gotta get back to work. It's Sunday you know.

My Collection of Strange Katrina-Related Quotations

2005-09-10T15:23:00.000-04:00

It's Saturday. Sermon is done. It's my day off. I'm in the mood to goof off -- so I decided to compile a list of my favorite Katrina-related quotations.

1) "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." –President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring Hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005 (Source - actually, I suspect Brown is a nice guy, but he is way out of his league or area of training)

2) "FEMA is not going to hesitate at all in this storm. We are not going to sit back and make this a bureaucratic process. We are going to move fast, we are going to move quick, and we are going to do whatever it takes to help disaster victims." --FEMA Director Michael Brown, Aug. 28, 2005 (Source)

3) "I understand there are 10,000 people dead. It's terrible. It's tragic. But in a democracy of 300 million people, over years and years and years, these things happen." --GOP strategist Jack Burkman, on MSNBC's "Connected"

4)"I also want to encourage anybody who was affected by Hurricane Corina to make sure their children are in school." –First Lady Laura Bush, twice referring to a "Hurricane Corina" while speaking to children and parents in South Haven, Mississippi, Sept. 8, 2005 (Source)

5)"I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." –President Bush, on "Good Morning America," Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina (Source -- also, someone should have given him a gift subscription of the National Geographic. October 2004 gave a prophetic and accurate account of what happens when a Cat 4 or 5 hits New Orleans)

6)"What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) – this is working very well for them." –Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the Hurricane flood evacuees in the Houston Astrodome, Sept. 5, 2005 (Source)

7) "Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well." –FEMA Director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

8) "Louisiana is a city that is largely under water." –Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, news conference, Sept. 3, 2005 (Source -- hmm, if Louisiana is just a city, why do they get two senators?)

9) "We just learned of the convention center – we being the federal government – today." –FEMA Director Michael Brown, to ABC's Ted Koppel, Sept. 1, 2005, to which Koppel responded "Don't you guys watch television? Don't you guys listen to the radio? Our reporters have been reporting on it for more than just today." (Source)

10)"My Cheney, go have sexual intercourse with yourself." OK, actually the speaker used a less polite term. Oddly, Cheney directed such comments to others many times on the floor of the Senate. (Source) At least this man was polite and said "MISTER Cheney." I don't agree that this is a very appropriate way to address the Vice President, but we do live in a free country. What bothers me is what happened next. The man who spoke up turned and calmly left the area. He was a doctor and he went to his former home to spend his free time between hospital shifts to sort through his wrecked home to salvage what he could. When two MPs arrived with M-16s, they arrested the cooperative doctor, handcuffed him, and after detaining him released him with the admission that he had broken no laws. (Source) It bothers me that a doctor who has a newborn child, loses his home, is working in a disaster area, has bad taste speaks his mind in a free country to a leader of the free world -- and he loses his freedom.

Dedicated to my friend RG -- Another Post On SEX!

2005-09-09T07:26:00.000-04:00

At the risk of confirming yet again RG's belief that I'm fixated on sex, I want to reflect on sex in the ministry. Reverend Mommy led me to a new blog -- new for me at least. SoMa Review had a post "Got MILF?" I was relieved, by the way, to see that blog define the F as FRISK. I thought the F stood for something else.

It is a disturbing review of sexual misconduct among clergy. It says, in part...

Berry cites another survey of 300 Protestant clergy in which 38 percent admitted to inappropriate sexual contact with parishioners, and 12 percent admitted to sexual intercourse with them. Similarly, a survey sponsored by the Fuller Institute of Church Growth in 1991 revealed that 37 percent of pastors confessed to having been involved in “inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church.”

I will confess that I've had sex with a member of my church on many occasions. I should point out, however, that that particular church member and I have been married for 30 years.

OK, this is no laughing matter. It really is serious.

I remember a funeral I did several years ago. After the grave side service, I followed the tradition of shaking hands with those seated on the front chairs under the tent. The woman whose father had died took my hand and put it on her breast and said, "If there is ever anything I can do for you, please let me know."

Half way through her statement, she squeezed her hand so that my fingers sank deeper into her breast -- well, at least that is how I remember it.

Without taking the time to savor the moment, I yanked my hand away and stuttered, "Just doing my job, Miss."

I've never been tempted to have sex with anyone other than my wife.

But I also know that given the right timing, anything is possible.

I'm feeling lonely. Or insecure. Or lost and angry. Or just plain horny.

It could happen.

I remember what Billy Graham did in his ministry. He decided the world was full of people with feet of clay, and he was one of them. Therefore he set up rules to live by. Never be alone with a woman was one of them -- not even in an elevator. His staff helped him with this. The temptation might be there, but the opportunities were reduced.

I do the same with ice cream. Being diabetic, I set up certain rules. No trips to Baskin Robbin Ice Cream Parlors that are in the town in which I live -- I can only go to them when I'm out of town.

I have rules for movies. No popcorn. I take a box of raisons or nuts, but none of that good tasting, unhealthy movie popcorn. It's a rule. I'm weak and I know it.

When I visit Atlanta and go to the Varsity -- there is a limit. It's a rule. No more than 2 hot dogs and one order of Fries. The proper way to order it there is to call for 2 naked dogs and strings. OK, that one I break. I can't leave without ordering one more naked dog for the road -- or as they would say at the Varsity -- "I want to take a naked dog for a walk." Those of you who have been to the Varsity will understand. Oh, just the thought makes me want to find an excuse for some continuing education at Columbia Seminary.

But I digress.

What were we talking about?

Sex.

Sex. Hot dogs from Varsity. Baskin Robins ice cream. They are all so tempting.

These are all wonderful gifts. To enjoy them as God intended requires moderation. Control. Rules that will keep us within our limits.

If I ate those hot dogs the way I wanted to, I'd be dead in a weak.

Ice Cream -- I hate to think what my blood glucose readings would be.

Sex with someone besides my wife? It would mess up the great thing I've got going with my wife. It could destroy my ministry. It would change everything, and none of it for the better.

Jesus said, "Go and make disciples."

Disciples.

Discipline.

I think the missing element in our spiritual discipline is not just resisting temptation, it's limiting our exposure to temptation's opportunities.

I Do Not Feel Obligated To Understand God

2005-09-06T14:13:00.000-04:00

I love RG -- whoever he is. From time to time he likes to leave comments about my blog that I occasionally find challenging. I don't think he liked my post, "Everything I Needed To Know I Learned In Algebra." He thinks it is an indication that I am fixated on nudity and sex. Very perceptive! I'm not sure what that particular post had to do with sex or nudity, but I'm not sure I can argue with RG. Nor would I want to. A previous post admits it -- "Sex -- It's One Of My Favorite Hobbies."

But let's move onto something else RG said: "I find it extremely difficult to hear you call yourself a minister when you admitted on this blog you have no idea what awaits us after deat." He goes onto say, "Many millions of people are hurting every day. Young people to old. Some looking desperately for answers." He worries about such people coming to my blog for those answers.

RG, I don't have answers for everything, and I'm very comfortable with that.

But RG, I don't need to know all the answers. I feel a need to trust God, but I do not feel any obligation to understand God.

Heck, there are times when I can't understand my wife. I rarely understand my teenage son. Why would I think I could possibly understand God?

People do look for answers, but I don't have all of them.

I feel very much like St. Paul, who said in 1 Corinthians 13:12, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

Someday, I'll have all the answers. But for now, I need to be content to simply know "in part."

This is one of those verses that I like better in the King James Version. It speaks of "seeing through a glass darkly." I imagine one of those restroom windows. The big, thick block glass windows. You look through one of those windows and you may sense people walking on the street outside. You see shadows and movement, but you can't discern any detail.

I think about the writer of Ecclesiastes 7:23-24, who said, "I am determined to be wise"-- but this was beyond me. Whatever wisdom may be, it is far off and most profound-- who can discover it? Later, the writer talks about how we cannot comprehend God, adding, Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it. (Ecclesiastes 8:17)

You are right when you say that I don't know what happens at death.

I know that when I die, I will be with God.

I know I will be in Heaven.

But I have more questions than answers. What happens to me between death and the Resurrection? What happens at Resurrection? Will the new me look like my body will look at death, or do I get my 18 year old body back? Do I get to play the harp? I can't play it now. If I don't play the harp, will I get to play the drums? Or can I just play baseball instead? Will I be able to fly like Superman? Will I be able to sit down and have a cup of coffee with my Great Great Grandfather? Is there coffee in heaven? If so is it decaf? Will we take naps? What about art, music and literature. Do they have libraries in heaven? Movies? Do dogs go to Heaven? What about cats? Butterflies? House flies?

I don't have answers for any of this stuff, but that's OK. I don't need to understand God. I just need to trust Him.

I do know that there will be no sex in Heaven (Matthew 28:30). It may surprise RG to know that this does not bother me at all. Jesus said that at the resurrection there would be no marriage relationships -- I take that to mean that Heaven is going to be very much different from Earth.

I also know that there will be a lot of worshipping going on in Heaven, and I suspect RG and I will sit side by side. I also suspect he and I will get along just fine.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know, I Learned In Algebra!

2005-09-05T15:55:00.000-04:00

Once in a while, everyone screws up.

Stacey wrote in Thoughts From A First Year Minister about something funny that happened during Communion service. You can read what happens by going to her blog and reading the September 4th post on "Playing Pastor." Stacey -- you are right -- spitting the Communion bread out would not have been a good idea!

A few days ago Behind the Pulpit asked a few good questions on his post, "You Know..."

I wonder how other pastors feel about failure? Have there been places in your ministries as pastors, leaders, and volunteers where you've felt like you've let the church down? How do you not take the issues within the life of the church personally? How do you deal with those issues in a way that allows others to know that you truly care about their desires, hopes, and dreams for their ideal church without compromising your own heart for what you feel like God has called you to do and be as a pastor? How do you keep from running away and completely giving up?

I read this and thought about so many things.

The organ fund that almost died because a single elder convinced the rest of the Session it was too difficult.

The mission trip the church decided not to take.

The time Presbytery put me on a committee to create a new conference center -- and we never made any progress with it.

I think about a couple of humiliating mistakes I've made that are best left unshared.

Most of all, I think of Algebra back in 1969.

Algebra was the most valuable class I took during high school.

I was a lousy student, and paying attention to the teacher never seemed to be a good use of my time. Algebra was no different. It fell on me to find productive work to do during the class time.

I wrote notes to Patti, until she broke up with me on Valentine’s Day (Damn you dastardly Patti!). So then I started writing notes to Eve.

Sometimes I’d read favorite works of literature. You know – the classics: Spiderman, Daredevil, Fantastic Four.

Occasionally I would try my hand at art – you should have seen the masterpiece I produced of the Principal.

One day, John pounded me on the back and pointed at the teacher.

There was Mrs. J, standing at the class droning on and on about something being greater or less than something else.

Holy cow, her skirt was coming loose.

Mrs. J was big woman. I knew there was no way that skit would make it beyond those massive hips.

Still, ever so slowly, the whole class began to pay attention.

Mrs. J should have known something was up. After all, she had never had our undivided attention until now.

It was when she was erasing something on the board that it happened. Mrs. J would put her whole body into the erasing process. It was like watching some old and senile person do the Twist. Her right hand would move the eraser back and forth. The flabby part of her arms would move back and forth like – well, the only thing I can think of is a bowl of Jell-O shaking in slow motion. Her left arm seemed to be needed for some sort of balancing process. And the hips. My Lord those hips! It was as if moving those hips generated the energy necessary to erase the equation from the board.

The skirt fell to her ankles and I thanked the Lord for the invention of slips! When the skirt fell, I felt a wave of sorrow for this woman.

I was laughing hysterically with everyone else, so the wave of sorrow couldn’t have been that much.

I’ll never forget what happened next.

Mrs. J bent over (Oh Mrs. J, why didn’t you turn and face the class before bending over). She picked up her skirt. She wiggled into it and fashioned it.

And then…

She continued to teach as if nothing had happened.

Over the years I have found this moment in my life to have been a great teaching moment.

I don’t know much about algebra, but I do know Mrs. J taught me a great lesson for life. As I look back, she was one of my best teachers. She was a wonderful lady who had the strength not to be overcome by humiliation, and the dignity to continue in her calling in the face of adversities that only 9th graders can provide.

Sometimes you screw up – whether it is by your own fault or another’s fault. Sometimes you find yourself humiliated. Sometimes things are so bad, you think, “It can’t get any worse than this” – and you’re right. It’s really that bad.

What can you do?

You just pick up your skirt -- or your life -- wiggle into it, secure it, and move on to the next problem.

I'm Angry

2005-09-02T12:15:00.000-04:00

I'm in a lousy mood.

The Iraq War continues, and the current status of their constitution says: "Article (2): 1st — Islam is the official religion of the state and is a basic source of legislation: (a) No law can be passed that contradicts the undisputed rules of Islam." I'm concerned that what we have done in Iraq is replace one oppressive dictatorship with another oppressive fundamentalist religious state. Is that why we went to war?

No, we went to war because we were told there were weapons of mass destruction. We heard politicians talk about the smoking gun would be a mushroom cloud over our cities. We heard implications that Saddam was responsible for 9-11. None of it true, of course.

But we are at war, and today about 1/5th of the National Guard of Mississippi and Louisiana are in Iraq. Days after Katrina, Americans are trapped and issolated, needing medicine, food and water.

Where is the help? Why is it taking so long?

I'm angry, but aren't we all?

It is not just that the National Guard are in Iraq -- so is the money that could have prevented this disater from becoming a tragedy. "In 1995, the Army Corps of Engineers began a project to shore up the New Orleans levees. But in 2003, Bush grabbed the money from that project to pay for his invasion and occupation." (from Another Day In The Empire). Sydney Blumenthal writes "In 2001, FEMA warned that a hurricane striking New Orleans was one of the three most likely disasters in the U.S. But the Bush administration cut New Orleans flood control funding by 44 percent to pay for the Iraq war."

But forseen or not -- I'm angry that the response to the disaster in Mississippi and Louisiana is so agonizingly slow.

I live with hurricanes, and I know you have to always be prepared. New Orleans is below sea level and for years that city's newspaper has repeatedly warned of this coming crisis, expressing concern about federal spending -- or the lack of it.

We could have done better.

We should have.

Helping the Victims

2005-08-31T23:53:00.000-04:00

We are receiving refugees here in Miami. If you have no home, home is found in a friend's house, or a relative's apartment. And so they come here. My wife is a teacher, and she has a new student -- a refugee from Mississippi. I talked with a friend in Atlanta who used to serve a church here in Miami, he says, there are no vacant rooms in the hotels there. One of his church members has taken in 29 guests! And Atlanta is not exactly next door to where Katrina hit!

I've already plugged on charity for the Katrina Victims. Here is a great idea from Dawn's blog, Thoughts Along The Broken Road

She challenges bloggers to unite for Katrina Victims. She says, "Your mission should you choose to accept it:"

1) Select a charity you'd like to support from this list here, or add your own. (I listed the Presbyterian Disaster Assistance).

2) Register your blog here.

3) Post at least once on your blog about the charity of your choice. Make sure to include a link to Instapundit's roundup page and the TTLB Katrina Relief page, and e-mail Instapundit the URL of your post.

4) Encourage your readers to donate to your recommended charity, and send them to the contribution logging page at TTLB to record their donations.

Hurricane Katrina - The Worst Is Yet To Be Known

2005-08-30T18:32:00.000-04:00

I am glad I am part of a connectional church.

Being a connectional church means that I am connected with people in Louisiana and Mississippi who need help -- and they are connected to us and others who can give it.

The Presbyterian Disaster Assistance (PDA) is actively involved in responding to Hurricane Katrina.

What happens in a situation like this is that money from the One Great Hour of Sharing is being released right now. We took that offering at Easter, and it prepares a storehouse of funds for disasters like Katrina. I understand $500,000 from that fund is being used today.

A special fund is also being set up to help provide food, medical care, shelter -- whatever is needed. Presbyterians will work with other churches in an ecumenical effort, as well as with secular relief agencies. You can give to this special account, DR000169 the Presbyterian Church, USA, has established for those wishing to respond financially.

Pastor John Reighney of First Presbyterian in Jennings, LA, said their might be a dozen or more churches which may be declared a total loss, based on reports of the flooding in New Orleans. Jennings, in the western half of the state, was untouched by Hurricane Katrina. His congregation is helping feed more than 300 evacuees.

Nearly half of the 66 churches in South Louisiana Presbytery may be damaged, said Mike Mann, interim general presbyter. The presbytery office will open as soon as feasible - possibly at 10am Wednesday or 10am Thursday.

Presbyteries in Mississippi and Alabama have not yet been able to verify the extent of damage suffered by churches and members.

I fear the worst is yet to be known.